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Politically Incorrect Jokes
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 (September 21, 2013 at 11:23 pm)Stimbo Wrote: Then there's this which my Dad swears actually happened when he worked as a builder. It was a five-letter word, '- o a - -', the clue being 'eggs on'. Someone suggested 'toast'. If that story is true, the person who suggested "toast" should be banned from crossword puzzles for life. 
What else do you put eggs on?
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
Eggsactly!
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
A young girl goes to her doctor for a check-up. He tests her reflexes, measures her blood pressure, takes her pulse. Then he puts on his stethoscope to listen to her lungs.
"Ok," he says, "lovely big breaths." "Yeth," she replies, "and I'm only thixthteen ath well."
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
I like my eggs like I like my women...
In the kitchen.
“Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.” - Marcus Aurelius
I may have posted that in the wrong thread, actually. It's more news story than joke.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
I like my women like I like my coffee...
Ground up and in the freezer. 
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
A Saudi cleric, Sheikh Saleh al-Lohaidan, has enraged women by saying they should be banned from driving because it damages their ovaries and pelvises.
I don't blame them being offended. How ignorant and sexist! Everyone knows it's other road users, pedestrians and street fittings they damage.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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