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This couple is way to christian
#1
This couple is way to christian
http://www.larknews.com/archives/217

And look how far the virus has eaten
Quote:TOPEKA — Jon and Darla Crocker, who dutifully abstained from sex during their 14-month courtship, have remained abstinent after marriage and plan to do so indefinitely.

“If it was holy before, it must be double-holy afterwards,” Darla says.

They have now completed 25 months of marriage without any sexual contact, going about their normal lives, jobs and social calendar with no hint of relational strain.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
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#2
RE: This couple is way to christian
Blue balls for eternity.
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#3
RE: This couple is way to christian
(November 6, 2013 at 2:21 pm)Lemonvariable72 Wrote: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=...=1&theater
And look how far the virus has eaten
One or both of them is gay. My money is on the guy being homosexual.

My wife and I abstained prior to our marriage, but on our wedding night we broke the bed.
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#4
RE: This couple is way to christian
(November 6, 2013 at 2:25 pm)freedomfromfallacy Wrote:
(November 6, 2013 at 2:21 pm)Lemonvariable72 Wrote: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=...=1&theater
And look how far the virus has eaten
One or both of them is gay. My money is on the guy being homosexual.

My wife and I abstained prior to our marriage, but on our wedding night we broke the bed.

Maybe Jesus fills his needs.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
Reply
#5
RE: This couple is way to christian
They can't win. They won't win.
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#6
RE: This couple is way to christian
From the article:

"Sometimes after dinner they will kiss in the kitchen and “start having bedroom thoughts,” Darla says, but they never fail to pull back. Darla breaks away to spray cool, misted water on her face. Jon eats a whole raw potato to take himself out of the mood."


After 39 months of this kind of pointless torment, I doubt I'd be eating the potato. It would be more like a forgotten chapter from "Portnoy's Complaint."

My verdict: he's gay; she's frigid; the sex (when they get around to it) will be awful.
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#7
RE: This couple is way to christian
[Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS-QQvylS1TbvMOBOfewtW...v6KgXGbetw][Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRVypeqqArNEf2cK3D8qRf...pMV0CLUfxA][Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRubX2afHu7ajwTsH_KOKJ...TffNry5Fxy][Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSZGm6A8Dv-t1Jq-tvCfEV...cCgGmajJfP]

It's not gonna work.
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#8
RE: This couple is way to christian
(November 6, 2013 at 2:40 pm)Crossless1 Wrote: From the article:

"Sometimes after dinner they will kiss in the kitchen and “start having bedroom thoughts,” Darla says, but they never fail to pull back. Darla breaks away to spray cool, misted water on her face. Jon eats a whole raw potato to take himself out of the mood."

Aside from being literally the saddest thing I've ever read, the part where the woman is treating her pussy like a cat that jumped on something it's not supposed to kind of cracks me up. Big Grin
"YOU take the hard look in the mirror. You are everything that is wrong with this world. The only thing important to you, is you." - ronedee

Want to see more of my writing? Check out my (safe for work!) site, Unprotected Sects!
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#9
RE: This couple is way to christian
(November 6, 2013 at 2:21 pm)Lemonvariable72 Wrote: http://www.larknews.com/archives/217

And look how far the virus has eaten
Quote:TOPEKA — Jon and Darla Crocker, who dutifully abstained from sex during their 14-month courtship, have remained abstinent after marriage and plan to do so indefinitely.

“If it was holy before, it must be double-holy afterwards,” Darla says.

They have now completed 25 months of marriage without any sexual contact, going about their normal lives, jobs and social calendar with no hint of relational strain.

But why are they doing this?



You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.

Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.




 








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#10
RE: This couple is way to christian
Is this a parody site? The URL gives it away.
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
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