Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: March 28, 2024, 3:58 pm

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Friends with benefits?
#11
RE: Friends with benefits?
I don't think I've ever met such a friend but I wound up with a few.

When I was dating I always felt I was ultimately looking for a partner. So I would do many things with the women I met like listen carefully to what they tell me about themselves, tell them honestly about me what they needed to know, have sex with them, explore humor with them, talk politics and philosophy with them, and explore the outdoors with them.

There were times when one or the other of us realized the connection wasn't strong enough to take further, but plenty of times we'd go on enjoying what we liked about the other until a better lead came along. I suppose you could call us friends with benefits during this phase of the relationship.

My current wife had a once a week arrangement with an old boyfriend Bud when we first met. I don't recall when I found that out but I didn't think anything of it. I wasn't connected with anyone at the time but I did have an ex-girlfriend who gave better blowjobs than a gay guy .. and really, really enjoyed doing it. Anytime I stopped by we both knew where it would end up. So at some point, when I felt strongly enough about where my current wife and my relationship was going, I mentioned how long it had been since I'd visited Ramona. That lead to sharing her special tastes and skills (she also played piano beautifully). It was very easy to agree we were ready to leave aside both Bud and Ramona and try being exclusive.
Reply
#12
RE: Friends with benefits?
I have had two FWB situations in my lifetime, but they were not with close friends. Actually, both evolved out of relationships. IMO, it works as long as it's not the first time you've had sex with that person. The passion of a new love affair can be infectious, and one person is going to develop feelings, almost as a rule. One of you will get jealous when the other person starts dating someone, there will be awkward conversations on how to end it when you don't want to end it, there will be weird situations when the sex is more love-makey than screwy and you start to wonder wether that means something. It's just a lot of trouble and weird stuff to deal with, and even though it can be great sex, it messes with your mind.
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great

PM me your email address to join the Slack chat! I'll give you a taco(or five) if you join! --->There's an app and everything!<---
Reply
#13
RE: Friends with benefits?
At work, but want to reply to some of your replies here. Thanks for the ideas and advice. For the most part, sounds good in theory, maybe not in practicality.

I've dated guys who started as friends but they weren't "FWB." I'm not interested in love, but maybe that is the inevitable "destination" when we have sex with someone on a regular basis.
Reply
#14
RE: Friends with benefits?
"Friends with benefits?"

Yes, please. As many of these friends as possible. Big Grin
Reply
#15
RE: Friends with benefits?
Only if he is rich and does not mind sharing the wealth with me, but I am not a golddigger. I swear!
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter
Reply
#16
RE: Friends with benefits?
(March 27, 2014 at 10:31 am)whateverist Wrote: I don't think I've ever met such a friend but I wound up with a few.

When I was dating I always felt I was ultimately looking for a partner. So I would do many things with the women I met like listen carefully to what they tell me about themselves, tell them honestly about me what they needed to know, have sex with them, explore humor with them, talk politics and philosophy with them, and explore the outdoors with them.

There were times when one or the other of us realized the connection wasn't strong enough to take further, but plenty of times we'd go on enjoying what we liked about the other until a better lead came along. I suppose you could call us friends with benefits during this phase of the relationship.

My current wife had a once a week arrangement with an old boyfriend Bud when we first met. I don't recall when I found that out but I didn't think anything of it. I wasn't connected with anyone at the time but I did have an ex-girlfriend who gave better blowjobs than a gay guy .. and really, really enjoyed doing it. Anytime I stopped by we both knew where it would end up. So at some point, when I felt strongly enough about where my current wife and my relationship was going, I mentioned how long it had been since I'd visited Ramona. That lead to sharing her special tastes and skills (she also played piano beautifully). It was very easy to agree we were ready to leave aside both Bud and Ramona and try being exclusive.

This story made me smile, I think falling in love the way you both did seemed effortless and therefore, genuine. I'm happy for you both. :-)
Reply
#17
Friends with benefits?
(March 27, 2014 at 10:42 am)Deidre32 Wrote: At work, but want to reply to some of your replies here. Thanks for the ideas and advice. For the most part, sounds good in theory, maybe not in practicality.

I've dated guys who started as friends but they weren't "FWB." I'm not interested in love, but maybe that is the inevitable "destination" when we have sex with someone on a regular basis.

This. Several long term relationships have started this way.
Reply
#18
RE: Friends with benefits?
I could never do it. I'm just not built that way. I don't judge others who do, but it's not for me.
[Image: extraordinarywoo-sig.jpg]
Reply
#19
RE: Friends with benefits?
(March 27, 2014 at 11:52 am)rasetsu Wrote: I could never do it. I'm just not built that way. I don't judge others who do, but it's not for me.

I can understand this. I've just been hurt so. Sad I don't trust love, anymore.
Idk.
Reply
#20
RE: Friends with benefits?
I will not post in this thread. I'm scurred!



Oh wait...
Pointing around: "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, I'm out!"
Half Baked

"Let the atheists come to me, and stop keeping them away, because the kingdom of heathens belongs to people like these." -Saint Bacon
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Things your family/friends have done you wish. Brian37 5 481 October 19, 2021 at 5:56 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Can you filthy foreigners please invite your friends? Losty 43 2846 May 1, 2019 at 2:42 pm
Last Post: The Valkyrie
  Hanging out at a friends house last night. Brian37 45 4547 November 26, 2018 at 9:44 am
Last Post: Cod
  Do you have friends who don’t share your political views? Losty 13 1737 November 19, 2018 at 12:00 am
Last Post: GrandizerII
  Keep Your Friends Close and Your Enemies Closer? Why Would I Keep My Enemies Close? Rhondazvous 26 3413 January 8, 2018 at 9:05 am
Last Post: DodosAreDead
  hi i'm tori wanna be friends?! Shell B 45 4944 April 16, 2017 at 7:02 am
Last Post: Brian37
  Dumping friends over politics or religion J a c k 115 11093 February 2, 2017 at 12:54 pm
Last Post: Thal
Heart Important To All My Friends: Seriously taking an AF break. Edwardo Piet 49 3944 December 5, 2016 at 12:48 am
Last Post: Edwardo Piet
Sad Goddamned asshole "friends" Aractus 7 1222 November 1, 2016 at 9:02 pm
Last Post: Chad32
  Fictional friends robvalue 50 5738 December 23, 2015 at 4:31 pm
Last Post: Edwardo Piet



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)