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RE: Next They'll Be Wanting to Burn Them
April 30, 2014 at 9:01 pm
I can agree that the people involved should talk about things before they decide, and letting them be well informed is the best idea for that. Abstinence only doesn't leave them well informed.
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RE: Next They'll Be Wanting to Burn Them
April 30, 2014 at 9:04 pm
And as is all too often the case, many teenagers end up going wild once they leave for college, all because their parents were either too strict and/or did not properly prepare them for the world.
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RE: Next They'll Be Wanting to Burn Them
April 30, 2014 at 9:20 pm
No one is saying that we should just shove kids out the door and say "they're gonna do it, nothing we can do about it." No, we make sure they know that sex is a natural, normal, and incredible thing---and that if done improperly and not respected, can have dire, life changing consequences. But all abstinence does is make it forbidden fruit, and since we can't introduce any sexual stimuli into their lives, talking about it like it's something normal is out of the question.
The point is that we can prepare our kids for the real world, where they have adult relationships and approach sex for what it is, an expression of passion between individuals. Like I said before, I have never been married, had my fair share of sexual relationships, and have never gotten anyone pregnant. I know that I don't want any babies right now in my life, and so I act accordingly. That can be taught. But not by elevating sex to this pedestal where shame and fear and anxiety are the result of giving in to natural feelings, especially considering the ridiculous hormone cocktail that adolescents are accosted with.
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RE: Next They'll Be Wanting to Burn Them
May 1, 2014 at 1:14 am
(This post was last modified: May 1, 2014 at 1:18 am by Fidel_Castronaut.)
(April 30, 2014 at 8:53 pm)Lek Wrote: I read all your opinions and statistics. Frankly, what's right doesn't depend on how many people are doing it whether christians or non-christians. When you have sex between a man and a woman, whether you use birth control or not, abortion availability or not, there's a chance that a living child will result from your act. You may want to abort, but your partner may not. Every time a person engages in sexual intercourse that should be part of the mindset. Are you willing to fulfill your responsibility to your child? That means loving them and supporting them into adulthood. If you, or our teenagers, think that this isn't part of the equation, then we've failed them. The other possibility is that we just don't care about our children which, unfortunately, is often the case. We just want to have fun and don't care about the consequences.
Utter tosh.
Leave the vauge generalisations at home and concentrate on the facts. Using wide ranging all encompassing general pejorative descriptions sex and sexual development based on nothing more than what appears to be a slippery slope fallacy doesn't add anything of substance.
If you disagree with why children should learn about sexuality, and importantly their own sexuality, you're going to have to do better than say that because there's a chance a child might be born they should avoid it altogether. Indeed, teaching children about sexuality and safe sex would actually lower the chance of a child being born and increase the chance of the consenting partners being more responsible. Shielding them from 'sex' per se is a foolish errand perpetuated by fools who wish to see nothing but their own power and control. Teens will explore their sexuality regardless of what people say is true. Much better to talk about the actual facts, including procreation and the fun side of sec, than simply to block it out entirely.
But please, don't let the facts get in the way of your opinion.
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RE: Next They'll Be Wanting to Burn Them
May 1, 2014 at 1:40 am
(April 30, 2014 at 8:53 pm)Lek Wrote: I read all your opinions and statistics. Frankly, what's right doesn't depend on how many people are doing it whether christians or non-christians.
So basically, you read cold, hard, objective data, but you don't care because your opinions won't change based on reality. Gotcha.
Quote: When you have sex between a man and a woman, whether you use birth control or not, abortion availability or not, there's a chance that a living child will result from your act. You may want to abort, but your partner may not. Every time a person engages in sexual intercourse that should be part of the mindset. Are you willing to fulfill your responsibility to your child? That means loving them and supporting them into adulthood. If you, or our teenagers, think that this isn't part of the equation, then we've failed them. The other possibility is that we just don't care about our children which, unfortunately, is often the case. We just want to have fun and don't care about the consequences.
And we should keep teens from driving, because there's a chance they might die on the roads. Planning for the extreme cases is one thing, but you're advocating talking about them exclusively, as though they're the only cases there are. Birth control fails, yes: teach them that, as well as how to use it, but don't lie about how often that is to scare them off using it, as some religious educators do. I'm just saying, don't oversell these things, because doing so hobbles your intended result; if you exaggerate the chances of pregnancy or the harms of sex, then your kids will just feel lied to when they discover that the reality doesn't match what you've been telling them, and now you've got kids that don't think your education is trustworthy.
Congrats.
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Re: RE: Next They'll Be Wanting to Burn Them
May 1, 2014 at 5:55 am
(April 30, 2014 at 8:53 pm)Lek Wrote: I read all your opinions and statistics. Frankly, what's right doesn't depend on how many people are doing it whether christians or non-christians. When you have sex between a man and a woman, whether you use birth control or not, abortion availability or not, there's a chance that a living child will result from your act. You may want to abort, but your partner may not. Every time a person engages in sexual intercourse that should be part of the mindset. Are you willing to fulfill your responsibility to your child? That means loving them and supporting them into adulthood. If you, or our teenagers, think that this isn't part of the equation, then we've failed them. The other possibility is that we just don't care about our children which, unfortunately, is often the case. We just want to have fun and don't care about the consequences. So because of a teeny tiny chance that an unwanted child may result even if people are careful, we should just tell kids not to have sex at all (which they'll definitely ignore, btw) and not tell them how to turn a seriously high chance of an unwanted pregnancy occurring into a chance so insignificant that they could bang 10 different men every night for 5 years without worrying about getting knocked up if they wanted to?
I'm far more worried about STIs than pregnancy myself. Pregnancy can be ended with a couple of pills easily enough, which is also true for most STIs; but some STIs can't be cured with a course of antibiotics and will stay with you forever and possibly kill you or render you infertile. But yeah, let's withhold information that could save their fucking lives because... Unplanned children exist? Wait, is that your argument?? That doesn't make any sense.
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RE: Next They'll Be Wanting to Burn Them
May 1, 2014 at 6:37 am
(This post was last modified: May 1, 2014 at 6:38 am by Tonus.)
(April 30, 2014 at 8:53 pm)Lek Wrote: The other possibility is that we just don't care about our children which, unfortunately, is often the case. I don't think that's often the case at all. If anything, it's a case of being overprotective as parents. Many parents will not discuss such important matters as sex or drugs with their children, perhaps out of some deranged belief that by not discussing it they cannot learn about it. But making any subject taboo to a teenager is likely to make them even more curious and more determined to learn, even if it's on their own, or from friends of the same age, or via experimentation.
And in my experience, the most likely parents to avoid discussing such important topics with their children are religious parents. At best, most of them will simply use the threat of hellfire or "don't disappoint Jesus" and think that it's enough to do the job, then they are utterly shocked and often devastated when they learn that their child acted the way any misinformed teenager will act.
At worst, these are the same parents who will take action to stop schools from providing children with information on sex and drugs and the possible consequences of indulging in either. So not only do they want to stick their own heads in the sand, they want to keep everyone's kids ignorant, as if not telling them will somehow miraculously stop their sexual drive in its tracks. And they strenuously resist any attempts to provide kids with birth control, or even information about it, which is why in the USA, a country that is largely religious and largely Christian, teen pregnancy and abortion rates are among the highest in the world.
Good job, guys.
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RE: Next They'll Be Wanting to Burn Them
May 1, 2014 at 9:34 am
(This post was last modified: May 1, 2014 at 9:36 am by Chas.)
(April 28, 2014 at 7:15 pm)Lek Wrote: (April 27, 2014 at 10:11 pm)Chad32 Wrote: They can't debunk the criticisms, and they're not allowed to kill heretics, so they just have to ban things that make them uncomfortable.
Sexually charged material already mocks christian values, so it's a two for one.
Do you want the public schools to have the students read books with sexually charged material?
I have no problem with that.
(April 28, 2014 at 9:31 pm)Lek Wrote: (April 28, 2014 at 9:01 pm)NoraBrimstone Wrote: Why? Is there something wrong with sex?
No. Not under the proper circumstances.
(April 28, 2014 at 9:05 pm)Esquilax Wrote: Is that seriously the extent of your argument? "They like it, therefore we should keep it from them?"
It's hilarious: do you actually live in a world where every kid in school isn't connected to the internet through at least one device that is perpetually with them?
Would you want the school to give them porn to read since they're going to read it anyway?
Porn would be an acceptable part of a sex education class.
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RE: Next They'll Be Wanting to Burn Them
May 1, 2014 at 1:12 pm
I might have had a lot more successful relationships by now if someone had explained to me when I was 13 that porn was not an accurate reflection of what sex is. I was going to look at porn no matter what, but having someone explain it to me would have been beneficial.
On the other hand all my life experiences have culminated in the relationship I'm in now, so thanks porn!
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great
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RE: Next They'll Be Wanting to Burn Them
May 1, 2014 at 2:44 pm
(May 1, 2014 at 6:37 am)Tonus Wrote: (April 30, 2014 at 8:53 pm)Lek Wrote: The other possibility is that we just don't care about our children which, unfortunately, is often the case. I don't think that's often the case at all. If anything, it's a case of being overprotective as parents. Many parents will not discuss such important matters as sex or drugs with their children, perhaps out of some deranged belief that by not discussing it they cannot learn about it. But making any subject taboo to a teenager is likely to make them even more curious and more determined to learn, even if it's on their own, or from friends of the same age, or via experimentation.
And in my experience, the most likely parents to avoid discussing such important topics with their children are religious parents. At best, most of them will simply use the threat of hellfire or "don't disappoint Jesus" and think that it's enough to do the job, then they are utterly shocked and often devastated when they learn that their child acted the way any misinformed teenager will act.
At worst, these are the same parents who will take action to stop schools from providing children with information on sex and drugs and the possible consequences of indulging in either. So not only do they want to stick their own heads in the sand, they want to keep everyone's kids ignorant, as if not telling them will somehow miraculously stop their sexual drive in its tracks. And they strenuously resist any attempts to provide kids with birth control, or even information about it, which is why in the USA, a country that is largely religious and largely Christian, teen pregnancy and abortion rates are among the highest in the world.
Good job, guys.
Your post didn't answer my comment at all. I said that we should teach children about sex and the consequences, the most important one being the birth of a child who deserves to be loved and cared for. Also to we should show the importance of love being part of the sexual experience. So you somehow infer that I advocate parents not talking to their children about sex and not allowing sex education in schools. My comments refer to teaching them the right things about sex. When you talk about christians not talking to their children about sex, you're perpetuating a false stereotype. But you are right about one thing - we do tell them they shouldn't have sex until married. It's really traumatic for them. My kids are so maladjusted. And they hate me too!
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