Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 15, 2024, 1:49 pm
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
joke time
The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
*******
Religious Views: Time to end them
Posts: 35310
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation: 146
#3401
RE: joke time
December 4, 2019 at 1:05 pm
(December 1, 2019 at 6:53 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:
(November 27, 2019 at 11:34 pm)ignoramus Wrote: boobies, yes.
axes, no!

How do you feel about boobies with axes tattooed on them?

Boru

Could be painful.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Find
Reply
LastPoet Offline
Leader of the gang of jerkoffs(tm)
*****
Religious Views: L'Uomo verrà portato dalla sua creazione
Posts: 18503
Threads: 79
Joined: May 29, 2010
Reputation: 125
#3402
RE: joke time
December 4, 2019 at 4:22 pm
(December 4, 2019 at 1:05 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Could be painful.

One of my cousins, yes. Those things must be 12 pounders each.
Find
Reply
Little lunch Offline
Senior Member
****
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 5690
Threads: 8
Joined: April 3, 2014
Reputation: 68
#3403
RE: joke time
December 4, 2019 at 4:24 pm
Sounds nice.




Find
Reply
LastPoet Offline
Leader of the gang of jerkoffs(tm)
*****
Religious Views: L'Uomo verrà portato dalla sua creazione
Posts: 18503
Threads: 79
Joined: May 29, 2010
Reputation: 125
#3404
RE: joke time
December 4, 2019 at 4:25 pm
(December 4, 2019 at 4:24 pm)Little lunch Wrote: Sounds nice.

Probably the first time axes would cause death by blunt force trauma.
Find
Reply
A. Secular Human Offline
Grand Poobah, Atheist Nerds of the U. S.
***
Religious Views: God who?
Posts: 1605
Threads: 0
Joined: October 2, 2018
Reputation: 11
#3405
RE: joke time
December 4, 2019 at 8:39 pm
(December 1, 2019 at 6:53 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:
(November 27, 2019 at 11:34 pm)ignoramus Wrote: boobies, yes.
axes, no!

How do you feel about boobies with axes tattooed on them?

Boru

Better axes than exes!
Disappointing theists since 1968!
Find
Reply
no one Offline
That thing that should not be
****
Religious Views: Certainly not
Posts: 6112
Threads: 53
Joined: September 25, 2018
Reputation: 20
#3406
RE: joke time
December 4, 2019 at 10:51 pm
What did the shy pebble wish?

Only to be a little boulder.
Find
Reply
ignoramus Offline
wiggle wiggle
*****
Religious Views: n/a
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation: 111
#3407
RE: joke time
December 5, 2019 at 12:11 am
and the zippo wished to be a little lighter?
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Find
Reply
Little lunch Offline
Senior Member
****
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 5690
Threads: 8
Joined: April 3, 2014
Reputation: 68
#3408
RE: joke time
December 5, 2019 at 4:22 pm
The orchestra wished for a bigger pianist.




Find
Reply
no one Offline
That thing that should not be
****
Religious Views: Certainly not
Posts: 6112
Threads: 53
Joined: September 25, 2018
Reputation: 20
#3409
RE: joke time
December 5, 2019 at 4:31 pm
Since you asked for it:

A guy walks into a tavern. As he walked up to the bar he noticed a twelve-inch man playing the piano, so he asked the bartender, "What's that all about?" The bartender told him he that would tell him later. So the guy asked the bartender for a drink. The bartender said, "Before you get your drink, you get to rub the magic beer bottle and make one wish." "Okay," said the guy. He went over to the magic beer bottle and rubbed it. Poof. Out came a genie. The genie, of course, said, "You have one wish." The guy thought about it and then wished for a million bucks. A cloud of smoke filled the room, and then both the genie and the guy disappeared. In a few minutes, the guy reappeared back in the bar with a million ducks all around him. The guy was astounded and said to the bartender, "Hey! I didn't want a million ducks." The bartender replied, "Do you think I wanted a twelve-inch Pianist?"
Find
Reply
Fireball Offline
Refractory Member
****
Religious Views: Nullifidian
Posts: 9912
Threads: 21
Joined: September 8, 2015
Reputation: 79
#3410
RE: joke time
December 5, 2019 at 7:19 pm
Young Arab, stumbling across the desert, spots something sort of shiny. He goes to it, picks it up, and realizes that it is a lantern. Buffs it with his sleeve, and a Jewish genie appears, and is miffed. "You have three wishes", he says. The Arab cries out, "I want 100 oil wells, overflowing with oil!". Up spring 100 oil wells, and oil is running everywhere. Arab says, I want 100 Cadillacs!", and a line of Cadillacs appears. He then screams, "I want the tip of my penis to drag the sand!". The genie pulls out a sword and cuts the Arab's legs short.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! Jehanne 10 2748 April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm
Last Post: arewethereyet
  A sacred joke. Mystic 15 3310 January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke Brian37 1 1607 May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! Minimalist 3 2539 October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Last Post: Zidneya
  Joke Minimalist 59 18802 June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am
Last Post: Ravenshire
  A little joke Sup 11 4743 April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Evolution (is a) joke JesusLover1 12 9434 March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Preacher joke 02 Drich 2 1993 February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am
Last Post: NoraBrimstone
  Preacher joke 01 Drich 8 4844 January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am
Last Post: Drich
  Make Up An Atheist Joke freedomfromforum 5 3050 October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am
Last Post: Angrboda



Users browsing this thread: 297 Guest(s)