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Current time: December 15, 2024, 3:53 pm

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joke time
RE: joke time
Spock had 3 ears. The left ear, the right ear and the final ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Reply
RE: joke time
(July 4, 2019 at 7:05 am)ignoramus Wrote: Spock had 3 ears. The left ear, the right ear and the final ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Front ear?

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
(July 4, 2019 at 7:05 am)ignoramus Wrote: Spock had 3 ears. The left ear, the right ear and the final ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I have a left knee, a right knee and a middle ???????????????????????????????????
My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well...she's not my girlfriend "yet".

I discovered a new vitamin that fights cancer. I call it ...B9

I also invented a diet pill. It works great but had to quit taking it because of the side effects. Turns out my penis is larger and my hair grew back. And whoa! If you think my hair is nice!

When does size truly matter? When it's TOO big!

I'm currently working on a new pill I call "Destenze". However...now my shoes don't fit.
Reply
RE: joke time
Apparently the last thing a patient wants to hear before going under is , “Okay, don’t screw it up this time. The review boards barely cleared you after the last fiasco and you can’t afford to lose another one!”

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
(July 4, 2019 at 6:02 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Apparently the last thing a patient wants to hear before going under is , “Okay, don’t screw it up this time.  The review boards barely cleared you after the last fiasco and you can’t afford to lose another one!”

That's right on par with, 'No, nurse!  I told you to remove his spectacles!!'

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
(July 4, 2019 at 6:12 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:
(July 4, 2019 at 6:02 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Apparently the last thing a patient wants to hear before going under is , “Okay, don’t screw it up this time.  The review boards barely cleared you after the last fiasco and you can’t afford to lose another one!”

That's right on par with, 'No, nurse!  I told you to remove his spectacles!!'

Boru

“No! The problem was with his GALL bladder!”

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
(July 4, 2019 at 5:45 pm)Haipule Wrote:
(July 4, 2019 at 7:05 am)ignoramus Wrote: Spock had 3 ears. The left ear, the right ear and the final ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I have a left knee, a right knee and a middle ???????????????????????????????????

Middlesex University degree?
Reply
RE: joke time
Patient in hospital bed, surgeon consoling, "We mistakenly removed you penis".

Patient, "WTF!?"

Surgeon, "Ma'am, calm down!"
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
Reply
RE: joke time
(July 4, 2019 at 6:20 pm)Cod Wrote:
(July 4, 2019 at 5:45 pm)Haipule Wrote: I have a left knee, a right knee and a middle ???????????????????????????????????

Middlesex University degree?
Middle WE-KNEE

Nancy Pelosi is suing the Stanford University Medical Center because, after her husbands recent surgery, he is no longer interested in sex. Stanford's reply: All we did was remove his cataracts so he could see better!
My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well...she's not my girlfriend "yet".

I discovered a new vitamin that fights cancer. I call it ...B9

I also invented a diet pill. It works great but had to quit taking it because of the side effects. Turns out my penis is larger and my hair grew back. And whoa! If you think my hair is nice!

When does size truly matter? When it's TOO big!

I'm currently working on a new pill I call "Destenze". However...now my shoes don't fit.
Reply
RE: joke time
A Man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. The doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor...I am Pagliacci.”
"For the only way to eternal glory is a life lived in service of our Lord, FSM; Verily it is FSM who is the perfect being the name higher than all names, king of all kings and will bestow upon us all, one day, The great reclaiming"  -The Prophet Boiardi-

      Conservative trigger warning.
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