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RE: joke time
May 29, 2021 at 1:49 pm
Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. “Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?” asked the one.
“Well, not exactly.” his friend replied, “she’s more into the trick dog aspect of it.”
“Oh, I see, kinky, huh?”
“Well, not exactly – I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead.”
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RE: joke time
May 29, 2021 at 2:06 pm
(May 29, 2021 at 1:49 pm)Darinda Wrote: Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. “Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?” asked the one.
“Well, not exactly.” his friend replied, “she’s more into the trick dog aspect of it.”
“Oh, I see, kinky, huh?”
“Well, not exactly – I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead.”
This is why my x wife left me.
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RE: joke time
May 29, 2021 at 6:06 pm
(May 29, 2021 at 7:06 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: I watched the deleted scene from a porn movie last night.
He did fix the washing machine, after all.
That must have been difficult...with her having her arms stuck in it, while wearing a short skirt and no bloomers.
Has to be a front loader, though.
Disappointing theists since 1968!
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RE: joke time
May 29, 2021 at 11:18 pm
(May 25, 2021 at 4:31 pm)onlinebiker Wrote: I never got a chance - but dad did - he got a few flights in a P51.. Said it was a handful. Full right rudder and steer with the throttle (engine torque) until the tail lifts.
In my 20s I had a 98 Mustang GT. I figgin' loved that car.
But when you really hit the gas, that thing would lift up, almost like you were driving on ice. It was an unsettling (but fun) feeling. Since I live in the Appalachians the thing was basically garaged during winter. (So, no actual driving on ice.)
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RE: joke time
May 29, 2021 at 11:54 pm
(May 29, 2021 at 6:06 pm)A. Secular Human Wrote: (May 29, 2021 at 7:06 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: I watched the deleted scene from a porn movie last night.
He did fix the washing machine, after all.
That must have been difficult...with her having her arms stuck in it, while wearing a short skirt and no bloomers.
Has to be a front loader, though.
Not if she has long enough legs, or if he uses a step stool. Porn is all kinds of crazy, so why not? Last porn movie i "watched" was when one of my younger sisters got married, and the brother-in-law to be's brother hosted his bachelor party. That's got to be back in the '80s. Nasty videos that I said might as well have some real music played instead of the kazoos, which switch was made. I used to work for a living (mechanic) in those days, so I went home before the stripper showed up. I'm told by my brothers that when she showed up, my BiL to be left the room. Smart move, given that two of his wife-to-be's brothers were in the room. I hear all kinds of shit went on, and I'm certainly glad that the BiL to be left the room. I'd've done the same.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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RE: joke time
May 30, 2021 at 4:51 am
Performance reviews at work today.
My boss told me I have two faults.
I don't listen and something else.
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
May 30, 2021 at 2:21 pm
I asked my North Korean friend how things were over there and he said he couldn't complain.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
May 30, 2021 at 10:36 pm
A limbless woman is sitting on the beach crying as a man approaches her.
“What’s wrong?” He asks.
“I’ve never been hugged before...” she responds.
The man hugs her and she stops crying for a second. Then the man walks away and the woman continues crying.
A little while later, a second man approaches and asks the woman what the matter is.
“I’ve never been kissed before.” She tells him.
The man kisses her and she stops crying briefly before he too walks away.
Eventually, a third man approaches her and, again, asks her what the matter is.
“I’ve never been fucked before.” She says.
The man stops and thinks for a second before scooping her up and throwing her into the ocean waves.
“There, now you’re fucked.”
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
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RE: joke time
May 31, 2021 at 4:36 am
God inventing ducks, "Yes, a waterproof chicken with a kazoo."
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: joke time
May 31, 2021 at 8:45 am
A woman was sure that her husband was cheating on her, and having an affair with the maid. So she laid down a trap.
One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend and didn’t tell the husband.
That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story: Excuse me my dear, my stomach aches, and went to the bathroom.
The wife promptly went into the maid’s bed. She switched the lights off. When he came in silently, he wasted no time or words but quickly got on top of her…
When he finished and was still panting, the wife said: “You didn’t expect to find me in this bed, did you?” And then she switched on the light…
“No madam,” said the gardener.
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