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joke time
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Iggy's drinking in a pub with a mate.
"My wife left me for my best mate, Mike!" "Since when is Mike your best mate?" "Since yesterday!" Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" 
It's our 30th wedding anniversary this Wednesday!
30 whole long bloody years! Beccs, would you have Mike's number handy by any chance 
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear. (June 1, 2021 at 8:52 am)░I░G░N░O░R░A░M░U░S ░ Wrote: It's our 30th wedding anniversary this Wednesday! Congratulations! 0900MIKES4YOU Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"  (June 1, 2021 at 8:52 am)░I░G░N░O░R░A░M░U░S ░ Wrote: It's our 30th wedding anniversary this Wednesday! Congrats! Husband and I have managed not to kill one another yet after 29 years...hmmm...his name is Mike, I really do have his number...in more ways than one.
What fresh hell can this be? - Dorothy Parker
 (June 1, 2021 at 10:13 am)arewethereyet Wrote:(June 1, 2021 at 8:52 am)░I░G░N░O░R░A░M░U░S ░ Wrote: It's our 30th wedding anniversary this Wednesday! 41 years in August for the wife and I. We had a really big celebration for our 40th last year. For gifts, we DIDN'T give each other COVID-19.
Disappointing theists since 1968!
 
I sleep much better when I'm naked. Why can't flight attendants understand this?
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, “Where is Jesus today?”
Steven raised his hand and said, “He’s in heaven.” Mary was called on and answered, “He’s in my heart.” Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, “I know! I know! He’s in our bathroom!!!” The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. And Little Johnny said, “Well…every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells ‘Jesus Christ, are you still in there?’!”
So, when Aphrodite lies around naked in a giant clam shell, she's a goddess.
But when I do it, I'm "drunk" and, "no longer welcome in the aquarium". Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
You know what I hate? When I'm in the middle of a flawlessly logical, tightly reasoned, anti-theism post, and some inconsiderate jogger bounces off my windscreen.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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