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Current time: December 15, 2024, 10:21 pm

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joke time
RE: joke time
A woman was sure that her husband was cheating on her, and having an affair with the maid. So she laid down a trap.
One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend and didn’t tell the husband.
That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story: Excuse me my dear, my stomach aches, and went to the bathroom.
The wife promptly went into the maid’s bed. She switched the lights off. When he came in silently, he wasted no time or words but quickly got on top of her…
When he finished and was still panting, the wife said: “You didn’t expect to find me in this bed, did you?” And then she switched on the light…
“No madam,” said the gardener.
Reply
RE: joke time
Iggy's drinking in a pub with a mate.

"My wife left me for my best mate, Mike!"

"Since when is Mike your best mate?"

"Since yesterday!"

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
It's our 30th wedding anniversary this Wednesday!
30 whole long bloody years!

Beccs, would you have Mike's number handy by any chance Dunno
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: joke time
(June 1, 2021 at 8:52 am)░I░G░N░O░R░A░M░U░S ░ Wrote: It's our 30th wedding anniversary this Wednesday!
30 whole long bloody years!

Beccs, would you have Mike's number handy by any chance Dunno

Congratulations!

0900MIKES4YOU

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
(June 1, 2021 at 8:52 am)░I░G░N░O░R░A░M░U░S ░ Wrote: It's our 30th wedding anniversary this Wednesday!
30 whole long bloody years!

Beccs, would you have Mike's number handy by any chance Dunno

Congrats!  Husband and I have managed not to kill one another yet after 29 years...hmmm...his name is Mike, I really do have his number...in more ways than one.
[Image: MmQV79M.png]  
                                      
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RE: joke time
(June 1, 2021 at 10:13 am)arewethereyet Wrote:
(June 1, 2021 at 8:52 am)░I░G░N░O░R░A░M░U░S ░ Wrote: It's our 30th wedding anniversary this Wednesday!
30 whole long bloody years!

Beccs, would you have Mike's number handy by any chance Dunno

Congrats!  Husband and I have managed not to kill one another yet after 29 years...hmmm...his name is Mike, I really do have his number...in more ways than one.

41 years in August for the wife and I.  We had a really big celebration for our 40th last year.  For gifts, we DIDN'T give each other COVID-19.
Disappointing theists since 1968!
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RE: joke time
(June 1, 2021 at 4:35 pm)A. Secular Human Wrote: 41 years in August for the wife and I.  We had a really big celebration for our 40th last year.  For gifts, we DIDN'T give each other COVID-19.

There are MUCH better things you could give her for you guy's 40th.


Reply
RE: joke time
I sleep much better when I'm naked. Why can't flight attendants understand this?

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, “Where is Jesus today?”

Steven raised his hand and said, “He’s in heaven.”

Mary was called on and answered, “He’s in my heart.”
Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, “I know! I know! He’s in our bathroom!!!”

The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.

And Little Johnny said, “Well…every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells ‘Jesus Christ, are you still in there?’!”
Reply
RE: joke time
So, when Aphrodite lies around naked in a giant clam shell, she's a goddess.

But when I do it, I'm "drunk" and, "no longer welcome in the aquarium".

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply



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