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RE: joke time
August 30, 2021 at 3:26 am
A little boy kills a butterfly, and his dad says, 'No butter for a month!'
Later, the little boy kills a honeybee and his dad says, 'No honey for a month!'
That night, mom kills a cockroach and the little boy looks at his dad and says, 'Are you gonna tell her or shall I?'
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
August 30, 2021 at 5:58 pm
A boy met a girl….
Girl: Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place.
Boy (smiling): Why thank you… are you single?
Girl: No, I am a dentist.
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RE: joke time
August 31, 2021 at 8:22 am
Boy: Girl, Whats Your Number?
Girl: I Have A Boyfriend
Boy: I Have A Math Test
Girl: What?
Boy: Aren’t We Talking About Things We Cheat On?
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RE: joke time
August 31, 2021 at 12:49 pm
A man lands a job at an adult toy shop. On his first day, his new boss says, ‘I have to head out for a business meeting. You’ll be fine, most of the prices are marked, but remember - nine inch white dildos are $15, and the black eleven inch dildos are $25. I’ll be back in an hour.’
Shortly after he leaves, a woman comes and, after browsing a bit, she asks, ‘How much is this white dildo?’
‘That’s our nine inch model, miss, and it’s $15.’
‘I see. And what can you tell me about this black dildo?’
‘That’s our eleven inch model, and it sells for $25.’
‘Hmm. And what about that gray one?’
‘Oh, that’s our Super-Deluxe metal dildo, and it’s priced at $200.’
‘Wow! For that kind of money, it must really be something! Wrap it up.’
A little later, the boss returns and asks his new clerk how things went.
‘Really well, sir,’ says the man. ‘I got $200 for my thermos bottle!’
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
September 1, 2021 at 9:19 am
A mother and father read a bedtime story of a king to their five-year-old son. As the story concludes, the son says, “Mom, I also want five wives. One will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me…”
Mom: “And one will put you to sleep!”
Son: “No mom, I will still sleep with you.”
Mom’s eyes fill up with tears: “God bless you son.”
Mom continues: “But who will sleep with your 5 wives?”
Son: “Let them sleep with daddy.”
Daddy’s eyes fill up with tears: “God bless you son.”
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RE: joke time
September 1, 2021 at 3:47 pm
So I read that Texas has a new law that effectively ends Roe v. Wade. The supreme court did nothing.
On an unrelated note, I hear Sirhan is getting out on Parole. I wonder if he's looking for work...
"Tradition" is just a word people use to make themselves feel better about being an asshole.
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RE: joke time
September 1, 2021 at 3:59 pm
A blonde nun is praying in the chapel, when Jesus appears to her and says, ‘Daughter, your piety, humility and devotion have please me mightily. You minister to the sick and you aid the poor. When you pray, you always ask help for others, never fir yourself. No one could ask more of a Bride of Christ, and I would reward you devotion. Tell Me your heart’s desire.’
The nun answers, ‘Lord, I live only to serve You. The Church sees to all my earthly needs. There is nothing I desire.’ She pauses and says, ‘Except…’
‘Speak, child, and it shall be given you.’
‘Well, I don’t like to ask, but…well, it’s these blonde jokes. I know I shouldn’t let them bother me, but I find them hurtful to me, as I’m sure they are to other blonde women.’
‘It is done,’ replies Jesus. ‘All blonde jokes are stricken from all human minds from this day forward. Anything else?’
‘Since you ask, Lord - could you make M&Ms a little easier to peel?’
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: joke time
September 1, 2021 at 4:45 pm
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brunette?
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RE: joke time
September 1, 2021 at 4:57 pm
Why do blondes tip-toe past medicine cabinets?
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RE: joke time
September 1, 2021 at 5:51 pm
There's a Dentist who lives in my neighborhood who I've known, and have been seeing for years. Recently he was arrested as part of of a major drug bust. He was charged with selling illegal narcotics.
Which just goes to show you never know about folks, like who knew?
Like I said I've been going to him for years, and I had no idea he was a dentist.
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