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joke time
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The best feeling a man can have is when a beautiful woman enters a crowded room and, ignoring all the other faces, locks eyes with you for a long moment, then says in a hushed voice, ‘That’s him - he’s the one.’
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
King Charles actually farted in the middle of his coronation, but no one really said anything.
Because noble gases don't cause a reaction.
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
 RE: joke time
May 7, 2023 at 8:20 am
(This post was last modified: May 12, 2023 at 11:09 pm by The Valkyrie.)
Two Brits heard chatting at a subway (Tube) station.
1st Brit, "where the fuck's Mickey? He was supposed to be here half a bloody hour ago." 2nd Brit, "He just texted to say he's just pulling out of Paddington." 1st Brit, "I bet that made him drop his marmalade sandwich!" Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"  (May 7, 2023 at 8:20 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: Two Brits heard chatting at a subway (Tube) station. I had to have a Brit friend explain it to me.
Disappointing theists since 1968!
Wife: “What are you doing?”
Husband: “Nothing.” Wife: “Nothing? You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.” Husband: “I was looking for the expiration date.”
A teacher asked her students to use the word “beans” in a sentence.
“My father grows beans,” said one girl. “My mother cooks beans,” said a boy. A third student spoke up, “We are all human beans.”
Patsy runs up all excited to his best mate Riley and says, ‘Have ye heard about the new saloon bar in the town? For half a euro, they give you a free drink, a free lunch, then they take you in the back and get you laid!’
‘Give over!’ says Riley. ‘Drinks, lunch, and laid for half a euro?’ ‘That’s what I’m told’, says Patsy. ‘Ah, you been told that. So, you’ve not been in this bar yourself, then?’ ‘Well…no. But me sister has!’ Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
The term "Domestic Housewife" implies that, somewhere, there are feral housewives.
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
A devoted husband is at his dying wife's bedside,
"Honey, I love you so much. You are the sweetest husband. Even now you haven't left my side for days," says the wife. "Of course. How could I leave you, you are the love of my life!" "Before I die I have something to confess." "It's ok you don't have to tell me anything. Whatever it is you are forgiven." "No, you don't understand, I cheated on you a lot throughout our marriage." "I know!" "You know?" "Of course, I know. Why do you think I poisoned you?"
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
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