joke time

[LinuxGal]

When a woman caught in adultery was brought before Jesus to test him, he said, "Let he without sin cast the first stone."

One rock flew out of the crowd and struck the woman.

Jesus was incensed. The crowd parted to reveal Mary.

Jesus said, "Momma, I asked you to stay home!"

[The Valkyrie]

Little Sally comes running home afterschool and yells, "Mum! Mum! Johnny showed me his willy at school, today!"

Before an angry mother could respond, Sally added, "It was like a peanut!"

The mother laughs, "Small?"

"No," replies Sally, "Salty!"

[Darinda]

A man staggers into the emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, and a five iron wrapped around his neck. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.
“Well, it was like this” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around I noticed that one of the cows had something white in it’s rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt. Thats when I made my mistake.”
“What did you do?”, asked the doctor.
“Well, I lifted the tail, pointed, and yelled to my wife, “Hey! This looks like yours!”

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Him: When a beautiful woman I’m trying to sleep with disagrees with me, I change my opinion. I have no principles.

Her: Maybe you SHOULD have some principles.

Him: You’re right, I should.

Boru

[LinuxGal]

Q. What do you call a man-eating tiger?

A. A tiger.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

^You think moving an old joke about Africans to New Zealand makes it somehow less racist?

Boru

[arewethereyet]

Amazed there isn't a meme to go with the 'joke'.

[LinuxGal]

^You think moving an old joke about Africans to New Zealand makes it somehow less racist?

Boru

You should bump up my warning level for being racist and I'll take another nine months off.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

^You think moving an old joke about Africans to New Zealand makes it somehow less racist?

Boru

You should bump up my warning level for being racist and I'll take another nine months off.

Try not to tell me what I should or should not do, there’s a good lass. But if you were to take another nine-month break, I would support you in that decision.

Boru

[LinuxGal]

You should bump up my warning level for being racist and I'll take another nine months off.

Try not to tell me what I should or should not do, there’s a good lass. But if you were to take another nine-month break, I would support you in that decision.

Just like last time it took the actual bump-up to do it.