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joke time
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I once knew a female folk singer from Hounslow who had a world-class bum.
All the blokes admired her London derriere. Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
 RE: joke time
April 10, 2015 at 5:22 am
(This post was last modified: April 10, 2015 at 5:40 am by C4RM5.)
(April 9, 2015 at 5:54 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:(April 7, 2015 at 4:02 pm)C4RM5 Wrote: Police in Londonderry have said that a car bomb discovered on Monday could have seriously maimed or injured people.'Derry'. 'Derry/Londonderry' or a recent one I heard 'Stroke city'. 
DIRTY_DEEDS_93
Yes, that is a banana in my pocket.  Religious Views: Take your religion and go fuck yourself.
What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
CHRISTIANITY: The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Makes perfect sense. Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish. 
I dreamed last night that I'd turned into a cat. Don't ask meow.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
DIRTY_DEEDS_93
Yes, that is a banana in my pocket. Religious Views: Take your religion and go fuck yourself. RE: joke time
April 10, 2015 at 11:40 am
(This post was last modified: April 10, 2015 at 1:14 pm by DIRTY_DEEDS_93.
Edit Reason: Thought of another funny joke.
)
My dad used to always warn me about anal. He would say "Now son, this may hurt a bit".
What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12.
CHRISTIANITY: The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Makes perfect sense. Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
Top Gear was 12 years old when it got cancelled, making it the oldest thing to date that the BBC has fucked.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
(April 11, 2015 at 6:31 am)Stimbo Wrote: Top Gear was 12 years old when it got cancelled, making it the oldest thing to date that the BBC has fucked. HA!! Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
 (October 12, 2014 at 7:07 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:(October 12, 2014 at 5:25 pm)Losty Wrote: I like my women like I like my coffee... I like my women like I like my coffee: Tied up in a burlap sack and tossed over the back of a donkey by a Colombian named Juan Valdez.  (April 12, 2015 at 6:39 am)Heywood Wrote:(October 12, 2014 at 7:07 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: 'I like my women like I like my coffee: hot, and with a spoon in them.' - Eddie Izzard. I thought it was just me.
DIRTY_DEEDS_93
Yes, that is a banana in my pocket. Religious Views: Take your religion and go fuck yourself. RE: joke time
April 13, 2015 at 10:09 am
(This post was last modified: April 13, 2015 at 10:13 am by DIRTY_DEEDS_93.)
Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!
CHRISTIANITY: The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Makes perfect sense. Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish. |
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