Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 15, 2024, 11:02 am
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
joke time
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
Power-Drunk Administrator
*******
Religious Views: Headology
Posts: 46311
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation: 109
#481
RE: joke time
April 10, 2015 at 2:32 am
I once knew a female folk singer from Hounslow who had a world-class bum.

All the blokes admired her London derriere.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Find
Reply
C4RM5 Offline
Member
***
Religious Views: Christian
Posts: 912
Threads: 5
Joined: September 4, 2014
Reputation: 4
#482
RE: joke time
April 10, 2015 at 5:22 am (This post was last modified: April 10, 2015 at 5:40 am by C4RM5.)
(April 9, 2015 at 5:54 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:
(April 7, 2015 at 4:02 pm)C4RM5 Wrote: Police in Londonderry have said that a car bomb discovered on Monday could have seriously maimed or injured people.

Next they will be telling us how a boiled kettle can seriously aid making a cup of tea
'Derry'.

Boru

'Derry/Londonderry' or a recent one I heard 'Stroke city'.


Find
Reply
DIRTY_DEEDS_93 Offline
Yes, that is a banana in my pocket.
**
Religious Views: Take your religion and go fuck yourself.
Posts: 143
Threads: 12
Joined: December 24, 2014
Reputation: 2
#483
RE: joke time
April 10, 2015 at 10:13 am
What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
CHRISTIANITY: The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

Makes perfect sense.

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
Find
Reply
Cyberman Away
Beta cuck male
*****
Religious Views: Frisbeetarian
Posts: 25314
Threads: 239
Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation: 156
#484
RE: joke time
April 10, 2015 at 10:27 am
I dreamed last night that I'd turned into a cat. Don't ask meow.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Find
Reply
DIRTY_DEEDS_93 Offline
Yes, that is a banana in my pocket.
**
Religious Views: Take your religion and go fuck yourself.
Posts: 143
Threads: 12
Joined: December 24, 2014
Reputation: 2
#485
RE: joke time
April 10, 2015 at 11:40 am (This post was last modified: April 10, 2015 at 1:14 pm by DIRTY_DEEDS_93. Edit Reason: Thought of another funny joke. )
My dad used to always warn me about anal. He would say "Now son, this may hurt a bit".

What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12.
CHRISTIANITY: The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

Makes perfect sense.

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
Find
Reply
Cyberman Away
Beta cuck male
*****
Religious Views: Frisbeetarian
Posts: 25314
Threads: 239
Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation: 156
#486
RE: joke time
April 11, 2015 at 6:31 am
Top Gear was 12 years old when it got cancelled, making it the oldest thing to date that the BBC has fucked.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Find
Reply
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
Power-Drunk Administrator
*******
Religious Views: Headology
Posts: 46311
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation: 109
#487
RE: joke time
April 11, 2015 at 6:39 am
(April 11, 2015 at 6:31 am)Stimbo Wrote: Top Gear was 12 years old when it got cancelled, making it the oldest thing to date that the BBC has fucked.

HA!!

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Find
Reply
Heywood Offline
Banned
Religious Views: Theist
Posts: 2737
Threads: 51
Joined: March 7, 2014
Reputation: 6
#488
RE: joke time
April 12, 2015 at 6:39 am
(October 12, 2014 at 7:07 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:
(October 12, 2014 at 5:25 pm)Losty Wrote: I like my women like I like my coffee...





...with no penis.

'I like my women like I like my coffee:  hot, and with a spoon in them.' - Eddie Izzard.

Boru

I like my women like I like my coffee: Tied up in a burlap sack and tossed over the back of a donkey by a Colombian named Juan Valdez.
Find
Reply
Crossless2.0 Offline
Senior Member
****
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 7568
Threads: 20
Joined: July 26, 2013
Reputation: 54
#489
RE: joke time
April 12, 2015 at 10:18 am
(April 12, 2015 at 6:39 am)Heywood Wrote:
(October 12, 2014 at 7:07 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: 'I like my women like I like my coffee:  hot, and with a spoon in them.' - Eddie Izzard.

Boru

I like my women like I like my coffee: Tied up in a burlap sack and tossed over the back of a donkey by a Colombian named Juan Valdez.

I thought it was just me.
Find
Reply
DIRTY_DEEDS_93 Offline
Yes, that is a banana in my pocket.
**
Religious Views: Take your religion and go fuck yourself.
Posts: 143
Threads: 12
Joined: December 24, 2014
Reputation: 2
#490
RE: joke time
April 13, 2015 at 10:09 am (This post was last modified: April 13, 2015 at 10:13 am by DIRTY_DEEDS_93.)
Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!
CHRISTIANITY: The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

Makes perfect sense.

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! Jehanne 10 2748 April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm
Last Post: arewethereyet
  A sacred joke. Mystic 15 3310 January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke Brian37 1 1607 May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! Minimalist 3 2539 October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Last Post: Zidneya
  Joke Minimalist 59 18799 June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am
Last Post: Ravenshire
  A little joke Sup 11 4743 April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Evolution (is a) joke JesusLover1 12 9434 March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Preacher joke 02 Drich 2 1993 February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am
Last Post: NoraBrimstone
  Preacher joke 01 Drich 8 4844 January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am
Last Post: Drich
  Make Up An Atheist Joke freedomfromforum 5 3050 October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am
Last Post: Angrboda



Users browsing this thread: 291 Guest(s)