Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 15, 2024, 10:53 am

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
joke time
RE: joke time
I once knew a female folk singer from Hounslow who had a world-class bum.

All the blokes admired her London derriere.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
(April 9, 2015 at 5:54 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:
(April 7, 2015 at 4:02 pm)C4RM5 Wrote: Police in Londonderry have said that a car bomb discovered on Monday could have seriously maimed or injured people.

Next they will be telling us how a boiled kettle can seriously aid making a cup of tea
'Derry'.

Boru

'Derry/Londonderry' or a recent one I heard 'Stroke city'.


Reply
RE: joke time
What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
CHRISTIANITY: The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

Makes perfect sense.

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
Reply
RE: joke time
I dreamed last night that I'd turned into a cat. Don't ask meow.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Reply
RE: joke time
My dad used to always warn me about anal. He would say "Now son, this may hurt a bit".

What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12.
CHRISTIANITY: The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

Makes perfect sense.

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
Reply
RE: joke time
Top Gear was 12 years old when it got cancelled, making it the oldest thing to date that the BBC has fucked.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Reply
RE: joke time
(April 11, 2015 at 6:31 am)Stimbo Wrote: Top Gear was 12 years old when it got cancelled, making it the oldest thing to date that the BBC has fucked.

HA!!

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
(October 12, 2014 at 7:07 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:
(October 12, 2014 at 5:25 pm)Losty Wrote: I like my women like I like my coffee...





...with no penis.

'I like my women like I like my coffee:  hot, and with a spoon in them.' - Eddie Izzard.

Boru

I like my women like I like my coffee: Tied up in a burlap sack and tossed over the back of a donkey by a Colombian named Juan Valdez.
Reply
RE: joke time
(April 12, 2015 at 6:39 am)Heywood Wrote:
(October 12, 2014 at 7:07 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: 'I like my women like I like my coffee:  hot, and with a spoon in them.' - Eddie Izzard.

Boru

I like my women like I like my coffee: Tied up in a burlap sack and tossed over the back of a donkey by a Colombian named Juan Valdez.

I thought it was just me.
Reply
RE: joke time
Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!
CHRISTIANITY: The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

Makes perfect sense.

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! Jehanne 10 2748 April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm
Last Post: arewethereyet
  A sacred joke. Mystic 15 3310 January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke Brian37 1 1607 May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! Minimalist 3 2539 October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Last Post: Zidneya
  Joke Minimalist 59 18797 June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am
Last Post: Ravenshire
  A little joke Sup 11 4743 April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Evolution (is a) joke JesusLover1 12 9434 March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Preacher joke 02 Drich 2 1993 February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am
Last Post: NoraBrimstone
  Preacher joke 01 Drich 8 4844 January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am
Last Post: Drich
  Make Up An Atheist Joke freedomfromforum 5 3050 October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am
Last Post: Angrboda



Users browsing this thread: 287 Guest(s)