I'm afraid of being agnostic, I need help

[dyresand]

To make matters worse, he's trying to sound like the Obi Wan Kenobi of Christianity.

you made my night

But seriously he is trying to throw a band aid on a person thoughts and feelings of doubt thinking it will go away. First things first @OP do not trust Dirch, you are better off looking into your faith using resources like the internet than having some one persuade you into believing.

[Drich]

To make matters worse, he's trying to sound like the Obi Wan Kenobi of Christianity.

Yoda

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It was a line yoda used in episode 1

[Jenny A]

I guess I just have a hard time believing they could be so wrong on something so big. I love my parents and they've always tried to do right by me. So although I've come to know what they believe is "stupid", it's hard for me to turn away from what they've taught me. Because they've done so much "right" in my life, a part of me feels like they have to be right in this area. But my logical side knows better.

I love and respect my parents and they did many many things right. I owe my education, work ethic, parenting model, marriage model and many other good things to them. But part of growing up is realizing that even good, smart, loving people can be wrong. They can be wrong about very fundamental things.

I am now an atheist parent. I'm not sure that atheism will be the thing, but I suspect at some point my kids will realize that I'm very wrong about something. I hope it doesn't hurt them as much as your discovery hurts you.

But discovering your parents can be really wrong, is part of growing up.

I just feel lied to and cheated of a peaceful childhood. Although I love my parents, I feel like they've really damaged us kids in this area. I was home-schooled and kept away from outside influences, mainly non-religious influences. I was told all the time that I was sinful and nothing I could do would ever be good unless I had god.

Long story short, I love my parents but I'm also very angry at them for how they raised us kids.

Your parents are a little extreme because of the way they tried to limit you to their point of view by attempting to remove the possibility of your hearing other points of view. But I'm not sure I'd call it lying. To lie, you have to know you are not telling the truth. Your parents are stubbornly mistaken.

I understand your anger. You would hardly be human if you didn't feel it. I understand the love too. What you really need here is time, time for the anger to fade. You might find yourself replacing it with pity eventually.

[thesummerqueen]

To make matters worse, he's trying to sound like the Obi Wan Kenobi of Christianity.

Yoda

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It was a line yoda used in episode 1

That doesn't ingratiate you to anyone, you realize.

[Drich]

Yoda

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It was a line yoda used in episode 1

That doesn't ingratiate you to anyone, you realize.

it wasn't for you.

I leave these Easter eggs for me. I've quoted wisdom from yoda, mr miagi, Forrest Gump and many other wise and observant characters that I like.

Whether or not others appreciate what I have done is not for either of us to decide. (10 points if you can tell me what move that was from)

[robvalue]

Thank you for sharing your story.

To me, it comes down to one thing: indoctrination. Parents force the "truth" of religion into the minds of their children before the children have developed enough to properly tell the difference between fantasy and reality. And the children also don't have the critical thinking skills needed to properly evaluate it. As soon as critical thinking kicks in, the religion is usually embedded as just "true".

When the child does start to see cracks in it, the parents are swift to reinforce the delusion and to discourage asking questions.

This kind of mental programming is horrific, and could be used to get children to believe/ accept virtually any nonsense. It's the same tactic used by all religions, just some apply harsher punishment for questioning.

Most likely your parents (or at least one of them) were indoctrinated. So they are victims too. They, like so many others, are carrying round this fantasy as "true" because, unlike Santa claus, people around them didn't allow it to die off.

Keep to your logic, you've already seen through it. If something is true, it would stand up to logic. The fact that it's emotional reasons pulling you back such as fear show that it's entirely based on manipulation.

It's my firm opinion that once indoctrination stops, religion will lose its hold. For that reason, I would like to see it made illegal, including taking young children to church. I equate it to mind rape, violating a young mind that you are responsible for.

If parents are so convinced their religioun is true, then they should have no problem withholding it until their child is older and able to properly think for themselves. If parents can't teach their young children good values without resorting to fairy tales and threats, they shouldn't be parents.

[Thumpalumpacus]

The only advice that I have for you is to let go of your anger at your parents. It's a corrosive emotion that will work inside you, to your detriment.

[robvalue]

I agree with that. I'm still angry at my parents, for other reasons, at 37. It doesn't do me any good. I've worked hard at trying to reduce the anger.

They were trying to do what they thought was best for you, but we're extremely misguided.

[FreeTony]

Also remember that many many Christians don't believe in hell at all as they can't believe that a loving God would send you to hell, or even create such a thing. We humans don't send our worst prisoners to places of eternal torment as we see this as barbaric. There is also no chance of redemtion in hell, something that we at least try to achieve with many prisoners. This is because we are a more tolerant society than the one that existed thousands of years ago.

Christians want to believe in hell because it gives them a meaning to the efforts they have put into their religion (both time and money): All that time spent in church and the money I've given them must be a good thing because I've spent so much of my life doing it. And all the people that don't do it must be bad because they haven't sacrificed what I have, therefore they deserve to go to hell. This doesn't just apply to Christianity, we all do it. A silly example is that my parents wouldn't allow me to swim for an hour after eating when I was a kid. The other day I mentioned that this was just an old wives tale and nothing more, backed up by what medical research says. My mother then tried to rationalise it, rather than accept that the whole thing had been a waste of time. We all do it, and the more effort/money we've spent on something, the more we will try to justify it.

Let's say that you go back to being a Christian and end up in heaven with God, watching all the billions of people who aren't Christians go to hell. Could you really sit there and watch this, without thinking that this is completely immoral and that I am supporting this?


ps If christianity really had good evidence to support it, your parents wouldn't have felt the need to hide much of the world from you.

[pocaracas]

Hello. I'm a 23 year old woman who was raised her whole life in a devoutly christian home. My father reads the bible everyday and talks about Jesus Christ all the time. Several of my siblings are christian, while a couple are not.

Damn.... how many kids did your folks have?

Your father seems to take the religion pretty seriously... have you tried to find out why?
I'm sure he was once a teenager, rebellious and all...
You wrote somewhere that he claims to have once been an atheist... if it ever comes up, try to pry some more info from him.
You may come across some nice father-daughter time!

I have been struggling with religion my whole life. The logical side of me knows it doesn't make any sense. But my heart keeps telling me my parents can't be wrong.

Parents... even yours... can and are sometimes wrong. Such is life.
No one is perfect.

Here's a little wisdom from Bill:

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Still, some parents seem better than others... some will endeavor to answer any question, seeming like they know everything... when, in fact, they know little or nothing and, sometimes, just make up the answer on the spot...

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I feel so trapped, because Christianity goes against everything I believe in.

What is it you believe in?

For instance, I have a gay brother whom I care for very much and I can't fathom him going to hell for just loving another man.

Why should he?
Because your father said so?

I've studied the bible and I see so much hate and archaic reasoning. I've tried to force myself to believe in it, but I just can't.

yeah... belief isn't exactly something you can force yourself into...
Doesn't work that way.

I'm honestly comfortable not being religious, but that fear of hell is still there. It's always in the back of my mind.

Hey look what I found! A mirror:


Now, if there is no god, then there is no heaven and, of course, no hell.
It's like John said:

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I'm not sure why I'm writing this, but I have no one else to talk to about this fear. How do I overcome this? How can I stop being so scared about hell, when I know it can't possibly be real?

How do people let go of any irrational fear?
This may help: phobias and fears - Symptoms, Treatment, and Self-Help for Phobias and Fears.
1: Face your fears, one step at a time
How to face hell? :-s

2: Learn relaxation techniques
Relax!

3: Challenge negative thoughts
This one looks like a keeper!

I'm so angry that my parents raised me in this religion.

Don't be angry at them. They did the best for you, in their eyes.
As their parents must have done what they thought was the best for your parents... and all the others before...
In time, you'll learn to cope with your fears and thank your parents for being there when you needed them... for helping with your future children... for being parents.
The ingrained beliefs in some afterlife are just a glaring line in the painting of all they have given you.... don't let that one line ruin the whole painting.

I wish so much that I was born in a agnostic or atheist home so that I wouldn't be crippled with this fear of hell.

Newsflash: you were born atheist... you were born without any belief in any god. It's the same for everyone else... that's why every religion's indoctrination works.

Give it time...