Christians: how do you sleep at night?

[watchamadoodle]

So he's a level 5 prophet which means............nope still don't get it.

It's actually pretty fucking hilarious. I love how they have levels 1 to 5, haha. Do they gather up XP in a little notepad as they are making their prophecies? Ah well, it's brightened up an otherwise rather dull day at work.

Now I understand that armor of God stuff in Ephesians

[robvalue]

None of them good enough to win the lottery though I'll bet. Then the church can stop fleecing everyone.

[watchamadoodle]

This gives me ideas for a Christian role-playing adventure game...
Hmm... you roll your stats and then you choose a denomination. Then as you advance in levels you can build-up skill points in thinks like snake handling, apologetics, pedophilia, etc. ... hmm.
EDIT: Oops I forgot the most important skill - fundraising. You compare your fundraising points to the other guy's willpower or something.
If you choose the atheist class, then you are immune to fundraising spells.

[TubbyTubby]

Now I understand that armor of God stuff in Ephesians ;)

Ephesians 6:12

After attaining level 4 prophet, thou shalt receive thine very own armour from god. It will protect thee from atheists and dragons on your path to level 5. Be warned, thy path is fraught with danger and needeth 20,000 XP. Only a highest level prophet will succeed, 1 hour prayer grants thee 1XP. Each prophecy accepted by more than 10 followers awards thee 10XP. Secret bonus XP for thwarting unbelievers.

[professor]

You guys are on a roll, glad to make your day more interesting Tubby.
I enjoy your wit. Makes my day merrier.

[KevinM1]

So he's a level 5 prophet which means............nope still don't get it.

It's actually pretty fucking hilarious. I love how they have levels 1 to 5, haha. Do they gather up XP in a little notepad as they are making their prophecies? Ah well, it's brightened up an otherwise rather dull day at work.

Has his power gone over 9000 yet?

[FatAndFaithless]

Bullshittians 3:17:

And the Lord said "Jospeh, come forth and receive eternal life!"

But Joseph came fifth and won a toaster.

[Brakeman]

Hi Brakeman, I believe David Owuor was married at one time, I don't know if he still is, the other guys, I have no clue.

The Benny Hinns, Joel Osteens, Oh, Creflo- can't forget Creflo! have been exposed by David (not by name) as false teachers.
I think you are going to be disappointed.

So, no "holy spirit tests?" Can you not pray to god and have him tell you if David is a false deceiver or not? Why wouldn't god give you the answer if it might be Satan deceiving you? Is he leaving your soul at the mercy of the super crafty and supernaturally cunning devil? I implore you to ask god directly if David Owuor is a fraud. Let us know what he tells you.

[professor]

Yeah, I know you are pulling my chain Brakeman, or in your case- a parking brake cable.
I have no doubt about Dr. Owuor.
I do have trouble listening to him as he seems to repeat everything 3 times (maybe it's a Kenya thing) and I am like-
GET ON with it -you told me that twice already. Or maybe I have the cultural issue?
His teachings align with what is written, his works (prophecies/signs and wonders) agree also.

Satan never fails to twist what is written, as Jesus stated "A kingdom divided will not stand".
The devil is always against the Word, otherwise he would defeat himself. Thus every cult based on a "New revelation" is a lie.

[Cyberman]

So he's a level 5 prophet which means............nope still don't get it.

Hah - I'm a level 6.