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Atheist Forums › Community › Religion › Christianity v
Rapture report

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Rapture report
SofaKingHigh Offline
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#11
RE: Rapture report
September 23, 2015 at 11:23 am
Well, I just had a really nice wank.  Just in case.
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Iroscato Away Donators
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#12
RE: Rapture report
September 23, 2015 at 11:28 am
(September 23, 2015 at 11:23 am)SofaKingHigh Wrote: Well, I just had a really nice wank.  Just in case.

Were you...would you say...in rapture?
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)

YYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
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SofaKingHigh Offline
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#13
RE: Rapture report
September 23, 2015 at 11:51 am
(September 23, 2015 at 11:28 am)Iroscato Wrote:
(September 23, 2015 at 11:23 am)SofaKingHigh Wrote: Well, I just had a really nice wank.  Just in case.

Were you...would you say...in rapture?
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)

YYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

Nah, definitely in my hand....then a tissue.
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Sal Offline
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#14
RE: Rapture report
September 23, 2015 at 11:59 am
An unfulfilled prophecy? Say it isn't so!
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robvalue Offline
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#15
RE: Rapture report
September 23, 2015 at 1:12 pm
Rapture update: I'm going to have a Pot Noodle. Then I'll go get some information out of Jesus. I should have thought of that earlier.

(He's tied up in my basement.)
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Lucanus Offline
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#16
RE: Rapture report
September 23, 2015 at 1:13 pm
Rapture Update:

Still under the sea
"Every luxury has a deep price. Every indulgence, a cosmic cost. Each fiber of pleasure you experience causes equivalent pain somewhere else. This is the first law of emodynamics [sic]. Joy can be neither created nor destroyed. The balance of happiness is constant.

Fact: Every time you eat a bite of cake, someone gets horsewhipped.

Facter: Every time two people kiss, an orphanage collapses.

Factest: Every time a baby is born, an innocent animal is severely mocked for its physical appearance. Don't be a pleasure hog. Your every smile is a dagger. Happiness is murder.

Vote "yes" on Proposition 1321. Think of some kids. Some kids."
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Minimalist Offline Donators
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#17
RE: Rapture report
September 23, 2015 at 1:53 pm
(September 23, 2015 at 11:02 am)Jörmungandr Wrote: Professor?  Professor?!?

OMG the professor is gone!

I wish.
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vorlon13 Offline
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#18
RE: Rapture report
September 23, 2015 at 1:56 pm
Goddamit !!

Forgot all about the rapture today and wasted this morning on a trip to the stupid bank to cash a check.

Fuck, I should have been self-inflicting rectal baro-trauma.
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




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Minimalist Offline Donators
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#19
RE: Rapture report
September 23, 2015 at 2:39 pm
Careful, odds are heavy in favor of you needing your asshole tomorrow and for a long time to come.
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Iroscato Away Donators
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#20
RE: Rapture report
September 23, 2015 at 2:47 pm
At this point I really do wonder how much can be salvaged Tongue
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Rapture report

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