Hi, my name is "withheld" and I am an atheist

[Minimalist]

For now, I'll just call you "Hey, You."

Welcome into the light.

Remember, for all those years you believed in xtian nonsense you gleefully rejected all the thousands of other gods which humanity had invented for itself.  All you have now done is to take one more step and reject the last 'god.'

[RationalAtheist]

Hello!

That's quite a story. I am deeply sorry about your brother. That is terrible. I hope you've found peace with that, if that's even possible.

I would caution you about "coming out" as it were at a large family gathering. Things can get pretty terrible pretty fast. My advice is to do it one on one, individually, to the people who need to know. Mom & Dad together, maybe, then siblings, then extended family, etc. In my experience when you have your whole hyper-religious family all in one room, everyone has a tendency to come at you with bullshit overload, and it is very difficult to defend yourself properly. Just a thought, in any case.

Seriously, I hope you stick around!

I appreciate this advice, it does appear sound, the only issue i have is, if i speak with mother and father first about this, when I'm done, they will immediately call my siblings and spread the word, by the time i get to discuss it with my sister and her husband, then later my other sister and her husband, then my other sister, they will all have had the opportunity to load up on ammunition & I may not be prepared enough to help them understand how I came to this conclusion. (you know how you start to explain something, and one part of what you said came from something you misunderstood and the person you're speaking with jumps on that and derails your entire point which had nothing to do with the incorrect information you provided?) these are the things i'm concerned with, I mean, i know they are aware i've been questioning things lately, but i think that's a long jump to claiming yourself an atheist, and i believe i will catch them off guard, and will get the opportunity to explain my whole position without these derailing "but what about..." questions. while i know there are parts of my explanation that are debatable, i don't want the main point to be lost.

i'm also concerned that i will properly explain how I arrived at the conclusion i've come to to one group, (maybe my sister/her husband) but not to my parents or another group. and that would be the worst feeling, I'd rather do it where everyone can hear everything i'm saying and try my best not to allow the conversation to be derailed. (at least that's my line of thinking for now)

---

If it's any help, I have collected together ideas from all over the place to help people who are "coming out", click here to see it.

thanks

[Kingpin]

Welcome!

Great group of people here with a lot of great conversations. Feel free to jump right in!

[Exian]

Hey now! That's quite a story my man. I'm hardly proud to be an atheist, but when I hear about the feeling of freedom that comes from seeing reality for what it is, the happiness I feel could easily be mistaken for pride

Welcome to the bright side. And welcome to AF.org. I hope all goes well with your Doc. I know nailing down the right meds and the right dosages can be quite a game.

[pocaracas]

Wow... what a story!
Welcome aboard, dude.
If your meds make you believe again, then so be it.... somehow, I doubt they'll do that.


It's when I read this kind of story that I think someone should package all these "conversion" stories into a neat little volume.
It may become a rather repetitive book, but it just comes to show the standard path.
As the potential first, can I have your permission to perform such a collection?

as a cautious atheist, i would not want my story shared for now, because i don't want my family to hear about my deconversion before i've had the opportunity to guide them in following my line of thinking. however, ask me in a month or two and to be honest, i am confidant i would love to share my story with EVERYONE if it's something that can help anyone, but again, in time.

Don't worry, mate. It's a long term project that I just came up with!
I can wait.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Hiyas. My condolences on your brother ... suicide is an especially hurtful loss, in my experience.

Hope you enjoy it here.

Also, just wanted to point out that when your brother-in-law said "the scientists didn't really know anything about the stars or their composition because it was just '...lights in the sky and nothing more'", he was wrong. Spectrography is used to analyze the composition of stars, planets, etc, and it is a well-understood and -confirmed process.

[Pyrrho]

Hello!

That's quite a story. I am deeply sorry about your brother. That is terrible. I hope you've found peace with that, if that's even possible.

I would caution you about "coming out" as it were at a large family gathering. Things can get pretty terrible pretty fast. My advice is to do it one on one, individually, to the people who need to know. Mom & Dad together, maybe, then siblings, then extended family, etc. In my experience when you have your whole hyper-religious family all in one room, everyone has a tendency to come at you with bullshit overload, and it is very difficult to defend yourself properly. Just a thought, in any case.

Seriously, I hope you stick around!

I appreciate this advice, it does appear sound, the only issue i have is, if i speak with mother and father first about this, when I'm done, they will immediately call my siblings and spread the word, by the time i get to discuss it with my sister and her husband, then later my other sister and her husband, then my other sister, they will all have had the opportunity to load up on ammunition & I may not be prepared enough to help them understand how I came to this conclusion. (you know how you start to explain something, and one part of what you said came from something you misunderstood and the person you're speaking with jumps on that and derails your entire point which had nothing to do with the incorrect information you provided?) these are the things i'm concerned with, I mean, i know they are aware i've been questioning things lately, but i think that's a long jump to claiming yourself an atheist, and i believe i will catch them off guard, and will get the opportunity to explain my whole position without these derailing "but what about..." questions. while i know there are parts of my explanation that are debatable, i don't want the main point to be lost.

i'm also concerned that i will properly explain how I arrived at the conclusion i've come to to one group, (maybe my sister/her husband) but not to my parents or another group. and that would be the worst feeling, I'd rather do it where everyone can hear everything i'm saying and try my best not to allow the conversation to be derailed. (at least that's my line of thinking for now)

...

In that case, you might want to write out your thoughts in advance to get them clear.  You could (though I do not particularly recommend this) send a letter to everyone.

But I think you should consider all of your options.  Why "come out" at all?  No one is entitled to know your innermost thoughts.  If you wish to share them, that is one thing, but you do not have to do so.

I never made a "grand announcement" about my atheism to my family.  I have never explicitly stated my views on the subject to most of my family.  My father is now dead, and so I can never tell him.  I do not regret not telling him, as I do not think any good would have come of it.

Ask yourself this: How will each member of your family react to you telling them that you are an atheist?  Will the reaction be good or bad?  What will be the long-term affects of telling them?  You don't seriously believe that they will all give up their silly beliefs because you have rejected those silly beliefs, do you?

It is your choice.  It is your life that will be affected, not mine.  Do what you think is best.  But do so only after carefully considering the matter, considering what the likely affects will be.

[Minimalist]

i'm also concerned that i will properly explain how I arrived at the conclusion i've come to to one group, (maybe my sister/her husband) but not to my parents or another group. and that would be the worst feeling, I'd rather do it where everyone can hear everything i'm saying and try my best not to allow the conversation to be derailed.

Group dynamics suggests that you will quickly lose control of such a situation.  Within 30 seconds it will be you against them. 

Instead of provoking a family jihad why not just gradually lose interest.  Life is complex enough without wasting time on silly superstitions.  Find better things to do than waste time with churches and religious foolery.  My experience with xtians is that they will tolerate all sorts of un-xtian behavior as long as you don't announce that you have gone over to the other side.
They will perceive your rejection of their bullshit as a rejection of them.  And they will react accordingly.

[bambi_swag]

Hey there With Hell-d, I'm new as well. Unfortunately, since I'm a theist, I don't share much in common with you. But I bet we'll get along. [emoji6]

[Faith No More]

Welcome to the forum.

Sorry to hear about your brother. Suicide is painful to deal with. And don't for a second think that being bipolar makes you different here. We have lots of members with plenty of different types of issues, myself included.