Still struggling.

[scoobysnack]

[Socratic Meth Head]

I came here a few days ago saying I had converted from Christian to Atheist, but was doubting a lot. I also mentioned I had OCD which may be contributing to the problem.


Heres an update.
1) The doubt is gone, but I still get this nagging feeling. My brain was condition to believe in god, and me trying to condition me otherwise is very difficult.

2) I started listening to the logical side of my brain. My OCD has been less 'triggersome' lately and I feel a lot better. I was able to dismiss thoughts that disturbed me so. Like "god's real, satan has got you". Instead of listening to my emotions, I listened to the logic side of my brain saying "There is no evidence for god. Theres evidence for evolution. Carbon Dating, Fossils, among other things. 2 stories of the bible had been proven false to me (Noahs Ark and Adam and Eve) so the rest will follow."

Still, this nagging feeling. Whenever there is a coincidence, like lately I've been seeing god being mentioned more "gods trying to help you". I would say "It's psychological. gods not 'appearing' more, I'm just noticing it more due to my stuggle." The nagging feeling goes away for a minute and then comes back.

My brain is still using indoctrination. My parents are wondering if I am an atheist, I can tell. I am scared they will convert me. My brother converted to atheism a bit ago and now they converted him back. He now says "I have zero doubt about god.". I now say "I am just as sure that god isn't any more real than fairies and santa."

I can combat my old personal expirence with god though. I was listening to christian music in 7th grade and I got this feeling of motivation and happiness. Now I say "People have a personal relationship with buddha and allah, if you believe in something, you will get motivated by it. Christian songs are designed to be motivational in nature also, with violins and upbeat, high, catchy tunes. I still get that nagging feeling tho.

Wat Do?

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Also, I have always believed in things without much evidence. I always believe first ask later sadly. Now I am trying to do away with that. I have been conditioning myself to ask "Prove it" whenever someone presents something to me. I am very superstitious. I would wear special clothes for football games and wear hats for basketball. And as I said. I have a hard time acknowledging something as a coincidence. I keep feeling as if it were a "wink" from god.

Keep reading posts here.

Read books by atheist scientists and philosophical writers.

Watch great shows such as The Atheist Experience.

Watch Sam Harris and Matt Dillahunty posts on Youtube.

Also on Youtube, there's a great series by Steve Shives called "An Atheist Reads (book by title, such as "I Don't Have Enough Faith To Be An Atheist")". He'll take you through all the arguments in the popular biblical apologists' books which would reinforce the awful voices which have been planted in your head, and you'll feel smarter the more you watch him deconstruct every single fallacy in his brilliantly humerous style.

Laugh! YouTube hosts plenty of clips by atheist comedians.

Getting the fear out of your head takes time, but at least it doesn't take faith. Taking in sensible, eye-opening material to replace the garbage will help. Hang in there, and you will eventually wonder how anybody can seriously believe any religious doctrine, ridiculous as they all are. If you were taught what you were by your parents beginning at your present age, then of course you know you would have rejected it outright. This is why ideas such as invisible god-powers depend on indoctrination beginning at infancy in order to keep the turds in suits employed.

I have been reading posts here and almost everyone seems to be an intellectual here.
I've been watching Richard Dawkins documentaries about the superstitious and religion, Along with some of Hitchens. Mostly Dawkins though.
I have books coming in that are written by Dawkins.
I'll check them out.
Seems pretty cool, I've already grown to like the Armoured Skeptic so it seems kinda similar in a way.
I try to laugh, I have found myself laughing at very illogical things said by creationists. It's more of an "I'm uncomfortable" kinda laugh though.
Fear seems to be retracting now as a matter of fact. I feel as if I just needed to adapt to using my logic and reasoning side of my brain for a bit and let it get into gear. This may just be OCD and the doubt may come back.

Thanks for the reply!

[Edwardo Piet]

[KevinM1]

Be weary of preachers like you are with used car salesman.

They are in sales.
They have ulterior motives..

The Vatican isn't gold plated out of their generosity...

I'm not a preacher? You say "Preachers like you" Is that a typo?

Re-read the sentence. He's saying that preachers are like used car salesmen, not that you're a preacher

And pay no mind to Scooby's ridiculous NDE crap. Stories from obvious non-skeptics who don't understand biology (if they're not simply liars, which has been the case before) aren't very compelling, regardless of whether or not they once labelled themselves atheist. He's been trying to push the tired "They were once atheists, but now have found god! Aren't you impressed/doubting yourselves?" thing since he got here, and is likely trying it in this thread because you present an easy target. You know Christians - they simply cannot abide anyone attempting to leave the flock.

[Socratic Meth Head]

[God of Mr. Hanky]

I'm not a preacher? You say "Preachers like you" Is that a typo?

Re-read the sentence.  He's saying that preachers are like used car salesmen, not that you're a preacher

And pay no mind to Scooby's ridiculous NDE crap.  Stories from obvious non-skeptics who don't understand biology (if they're not simply liars, which has been the case before) aren't very compelling, regardless of whether or not they once labelled themselves atheist.  He's been trying to push the tired "They were once atheists, but now have found god!  Aren't you impressed/doubting yourselves?" thing since he got here, and is likely trying it in this thread because you present an easy target.  You know Christians - they simply cannot abide anyone attempting to leave the flock.

Yeah, trying to leave the world of organized crime looks easy compared to the evils which the Christards will threaten you with...oh, wait, it's the origin of crime families!

[scoobysnack]

[Socratic Meth Head]

[scoobysnack]

[robvalue]

Gdog: You're right, the preacher does not understand evolution. Like almost everyone who "denies" it, he's presenting a strawman version of it, then saying "that's ridiculous". It is ridiculous, what he is saying, but it's also not the theory of evolution. It's his warped idea of it.

I'm very impressed with your research and handling of NDEs! We get a lot of people peddling that here, and it seems you need no help seeing through it.

From the time you've spent here, I feel confident saying you're going to beat this. I'm not saying it will be easy or that it will end up disappearing completely, but I believe it will end up being manageable. Like I've been depressed for many years, and I still am, but I've moved onto a place where I can keep it in check; it's in a fenced off area of my brain, where I have all sorts of strategies ready to poke it back should it try to emerge.

It may help to dispel some of the power the mythology has over you by confronting it directly. I've recommended this before, and I've seen it help people quite a bit. You can shout at God, "Hey! You suck! Why are you doing such a terrible job? I don't think you're even there at all! I'm not scared of you! Go ahead and blow up my head! Do it you chickenshit!"

Or words to that effect I understand that might be a lot to do at first, but maybe it's something you can build up to. Since I can guarantee nothing is going to happen (nothing that wouldn't happen anyway) you can see first hand that you're just talking to the air. Repeating this and becoming more intense as you "tell off" God and demand he show himself or leave you alone, may just cement in your mind that people really are just talking to themselves.