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Current time: October 31, 2026, 11:20 pm
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Active listening within friendships
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 RE: Active listening within friendships
July 23, 2016 at 10:48 am
(This post was last modified: July 23, 2016 at 10:49 am by robvalue.)
What I find very useful is to paraphrase back to someone what I think they are telling me, in my own words. This shows I've been listening, it gives me the chance to see if I've understood correctly, and the other person can correct any misunderstandings.
Obviously this is something that would summarise a section of conversation, not something to do after every sentence. 
If I'm understanding you correctly, you're saying that while you think active listening can be overdone, you'd also like others to read this article and offer their own opinions so that you can benefit from their thoughts?
 RE: Active listening within friendships
July 23, 2016 at 12:05 pm
(This post was last modified: July 23, 2016 at 12:06 pm by Edwardo Piet.)
Yes, but also so they and others can perhaps benefit from the article -- and the parts I quoted that I find helps me -- too.
So, to clarify: I agree completely except that it's not only for my own benefit 
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers. Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. --Voltaire Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
What got you thinking about this, if you don't mind sharing?
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Be careful what you wish for. In most of my day to day conversations (friend or not), the other person does not want to hear my conclusions/observations of active listening. They are much more comfortable with passive listening and passive response.
Being told you're delusional does not necessarily mean you're mental.
... Sorry? I, er, wasn't listening.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
 (July 23, 2016 at 3:49 pm)mh.brewer Wrote: Be careful what you wish for. In most of my day to day conversations (friend or not), the other person does not want to hear my conclusions/observations of active listening. They are much more comfortable with passive listening and passive response. I get that a lot as well (and I've been told that I'm a VERY good listener). I can usually suss out if they actually want advice or just want to yak. First (once they stop for breath), I'll ask - sincerely - 'What can I do?'. If they want advice/help, they'll generally tell me once the opening is given. If they seem to ignore my offer, I tend to let them run on until they clearly feel better and I'll try to wrap up the convo with something like, 'Good talk' or 'Glad I was here for you'. Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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