Online dating truthers

[Banjo]

Man 52.
Occupation. Musician.
Needs: Woman with car to drive me around. (station wagon prefered)
Vacuum cleaner nozzle. (Mine went awol?)

My personality.
I like to tell jokes with a straight face so as to confuse people. (This is landed me in deep trouble)
I like bongos. To bongo is to live.
I like clean sheets. (So we have to sleep on the floor. So as not to dirty them. Smart eh?)
I've had a woman's panties on my head. Thrown at me while playing drums. (She was a good shot)
I live very simply. For example. To my right is a set of drums. Further to my right are congas and bata drums. Directly in front of me are bongos. On them sit both a pandeiro and tamborim.
Slightly to the left is a table. Beside me a heater. Behind me more various kinds of drums.
There is one seat in my abode and visitors must sit on the floor. (This discourages visitors)
I used to have 1 cup, one plate, one spoon, fork and knife. But my brother brought an entire boatload over. Now I am confused. Things were simpler back then.

Interests.
Music. Drumming. Drumming with musicians. Drumming by myself. Praticing drumming. I particularly like the pata fla fla.
I also hang out at atheist forums to annoy people with my presence.

Dislikes. Not drumming. People who dislike drumming. Cockroaches.

What I want in a woman? Transport.

[account_inactive]

I don't know why I'm doing this, but I'll add mine... scary as it is:

Hi. I'm NymphAdora. My nickname is NOT Nympho.
I'm a decrepit 45 years old.
I'm overweight. Fuck it - I'm fat.
I don't think I'm very pretty and clearly, makeup does NOT help my looks at all.
Life hasn't been very kind to me.
I have issues - trust issues, control issues, issues with people lacking common sense, issues with people not knowing how to drive, issues with people not taking initiative.
I absolutely hate being lied to. It can be a deal breaker.
I talk too much. I reveal way too much about my life to total strangers. This has got to be one of my biggest downfalls.
I made my first mid-life crisis decision in 2015 when I decided to go back to school.
Based on my schooling, I'll probably critique your hair without you asking me to. I'll probably want to cut it or color it.
I made my second mid-life crisis decision in 2016, when I bought a pair of purple speed skates. Yes, I actually use them. No, I don't go very fast.
I have a redneck, geeky, nerdy side that I'll happily show you if you stick around long enough.
I drink directly from a two liter bottle of soda. To hell with using a glass.
I don't know how to cook for less than five people. That's a plus if you like to eat a lot of food.
I like to eat a lot of food.
I don't measure things when I cook. I'm Italian.
I met John Gotti when I was a kid. Several times. No kidding.
I am proud to be an atheist. Don't invite me to church. I'll probably laugh at you.
People think I'm brass and that I come on too strong. Many don't like my personality because of that. Oh well. I'm not trying to win over any popularity contests in life. People either like me or they don't. I'm going to keep living regardless.
I say the word "fuck" a lot.
I have baggage that will most likely haunt me for the rest of my life.
I'm not opposed to having a sugar daddy. Preferably one who isn't interested in having sex. Just give me the damn money and leave me alone.
I'll probably never grow up. Seriously, I feel like I'm mentally stuck somewhere in my early 20's.

And most importantly:
I don't run. If you see me running, you should probably start running too because something is most likely chasing me.

I remember talking to you briefly about the Mafia not long after I joined the forum. But I gotta say, that's pretty fucking awesome.

[ignoramus]

That is funny... Elvis had a good drummer, didn't he? Pretty sure he did? But I don't think his drummer had a woman?

[Regina]

Always fuck the drummer, they're the best in bed

[Banjo]

That is funny... Elvis had a good drummer, didn't he? Pretty sure he did? But I don't think his drummer had a woman?

Elvis had many drummers. D.J. Fontana is probably most well known. But in the studio it was often Hal Blaine or Earl Palmer.

[ignoramus]

I've got a different name on the brain? Any others?

[Little lunch]

So is that everyone?
This is gonna be one hell of an orgy.

[Banjo]

I've got a different name on the brain? Any others?

Ron Tutt?

[Joods]

I don't know why I'm doing this, but I'll add mine... scary as it is:

Hi. I'm NymphAdora. My nickname is NOT Nympho.
I'm a decrepit 45 years old.
I'm overweight. Fuck it - I'm fat.
I don't think I'm very pretty and clearly, makeup does NOT help my looks at all.
Life hasn't been very kind to me.
I have issues - trust issues, control issues, issues with people lacking common sense, issues with people not knowing how to drive, issues with people not taking initiative.
I absolutely hate being lied to. It can be a deal breaker.
I talk too much. I reveal way too much about my life to total strangers. This has got to be one of my biggest downfalls.
I made my first mid-life crisis decision in 2015 when I decided to go back to school.
Based on my schooling, I'll probably critique your hair without you asking me to. I'll probably want to cut it or color it.
I made my second mid-life crisis decision in 2016, when I bought a pair of purple speed skates. Yes, I actually use them. No, I don't go very fast.
I have a redneck, geeky, nerdy side that I'll happily show you if you stick around long enough.
I drink directly from a two liter bottle of soda. To hell with using a glass.
I don't know how to cook for less than five people. That's a plus if you like to eat a lot of food.
I like to eat a lot of food.
I don't measure things when I cook. I'm Italian.
I met John Gotti when I was a kid. Several times. No kidding.
I am proud to be an atheist. Don't invite me to church. I'll probably laugh at you.
People think I'm brass and that I come on too strong. Many don't like my personality because of that. Oh well. I'm not trying to win over any popularity contests in life. People either like me or they don't. I'm going to keep living regardless.
I say the word "fuck" a lot.
I have baggage that will most likely haunt me for the rest of my life.
I'm not opposed to having a sugar daddy. Preferably one who isn't interested in having sex. Just give me the damn money and leave me alone.
I'll probably never grow up. Seriously, I feel like I'm mentally stuck somewhere in my early 20's.

And most importantly:
I don't run. If you see me running, you should probably start running too because something is most likely chasing me.

I remember talking to you briefly about the Mafia not long after I joined the forum. But I gotta say, that's pretty fucking awesome.

Awesome for a clueless kid. Once I got older and realized exactly who he was - not so much. I did get to play in a lot of huge houses when I was a kid. I remember the Gambino's had a really big house and they had all sorts of pinball and video game (arcade style) machines in their basement. They always sent the kids down there to play.

[CapnAwesome]

CapnAwesome, I like you a lot better now. :-)

So it's a date?

I also have a girlfriend. Probably should of included that bit, eh.