Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 30, 2024, 10:04 am
Atheist Forums › Discussion › Off Topic v
101 uses for Bible

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
101 uses for Bible
Cego_Colher Offline
Commissioner of the Tea
**
Religious Views: None
Posts: 339
Threads: 11
Joined: June 29, 2010
Reputation: 5
#51
RE: 101 uses for Bible
August 23, 2010 at 5:42 pm (This post was last modified: August 23, 2010 at 5:44 pm by Cego_Colher.)
52. Paper mache

is there something wrong with porno?
[Image: siggy2_by_Cego_Colher.jpg]
Find
Reply
Entropist Offline
I'm bored. Entertain me.
**
Religious Views: None, nothing, nada, naught, nil, zero, zip, zilch.
Posts: 403
Threads: 10
Joined: August 16, 2010
Reputation: 10
#52
RE: 101 uses for Bible
August 23, 2010 at 5:43 pm (This post was last modified: August 23, 2010 at 5:49 pm by Entropist.)
Speaking of porn:

For jerking off to the dirty parts. (Well, it doesn't even make good porn, so maybe not...)
CONFETTI.
“Society is not a disease, it is a disaster. What a stupid miracle that one can live in it.” ~ E.M. Cioran
Find
Reply
RachelSkates Offline
Newbie
*
Religious Views: Nothing
Posts: 62
Threads: 11
Joined: August 15, 2010
Reputation: 2
#53
RE: 101 uses for Bible
August 23, 2010 at 5:50 pm
ROFLOL

ROFLOL

ROFLOL


Right! Fundies act all innocent and claim they get a thrill out of Song of Solomon when really they are hiring male prostitutes (Ted Hager). So you're right on that account. USELESS!

Find
Reply
TheDarkestOfAngels Offline
Posted by Mazie the Posting Cat
***
Religious Views: None
Posts: 1211
Threads: 38
Joined: July 15, 2010
Reputation: 21
#54
RE: 101 uses for Bible
August 23, 2010 at 5:52 pm
(August 23, 2010 at 5:43 pm)Entropist Wrote: For jerking off to the dirty parts.

That is the most heinous, blasphemous, and dirtiest use of the bible I have ever heard.
I approve.
If today you can take a thing like evolution and make it a crime to teach in the public schools, tomorrow you can make it a crime to teach it in the private schools and next year you can make it a crime to teach it to the hustings or in the church. At the next session you may ban books and the newspapers...
Ignorance and fanaticism are ever busy and need feeding. Always feeding and gloating for more. Today it is the public school teachers; tomorrow the private. The next day the preachers and the lecturers, the magazines, the books, the newspapers. After a while, Your Honor, it is the setting of man against man and creed against creed until with flying banners and beating drums we are marching backward to the glorious ages of the sixteenth centry when bigots lighted fagots to burn the men who dared to bring any intelligence and enlightenment and culture to the human mind. ~Clarence Darrow, at the Scopes Monkey Trial, 1925
Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. ~Ronald Reagan
Find
Reply
Thor Offline
Member
***
Religious Views: Atheist
Posts: 1497
Threads: 29
Joined: February 16, 2010
Reputation: 23
#55
RE: 101 uses for Bible
August 23, 2010 at 5:57 pm
(August 23, 2010 at 5:43 pm)Entropist Wrote: Speaking of porn:

For jerking off to the dirty parts. (Well, it doesn't even make good porn, so maybe not...)
CONFETTI.

Oh, come on! There aren't even any pictures! The closest you might get is if you find a Bible with pictures and they'll probably have something showing Adam and Eve. But Eve is always covered by her flowing hair and vegetation. And half the time she's not even that good looking!
Science flies us to the moon and stars. Religion flies us into buildings.

God allowed 200,000 people to die in an earthquake. So what makes you think he cares about YOUR problems?
Find
Reply
Minimalist Offline Donators
Go Blow Jesus Out Your Ass
*****
Religious Views: Fuck It
Posts: 69247
Threads: 3759
Joined: August 2, 2009
Reputation: 259
#56
RE: 101 uses for Bible
August 23, 2010 at 6:01 pm
Quote:For jerking off to the dirty parts.


The bible can't even do that right.
Find
Reply
The Omnissiunt One Offline
Atheist and grammar Nazi
***
Religious Views: Born again atheist
Posts: 647
Threads: 9
Joined: March 3, 2010
Reputation: 14
#57
RE: 101 uses for Bible
August 23, 2010 at 6:03 pm
(August 23, 2010 at 5:57 pm)Thor Wrote:
(August 23, 2010 at 5:43 pm)Entropist Wrote: Speaking of porn:

For jerking off to the dirty parts. (Well, it doesn't even make good porn, so maybe not...)
CONFETTI.

Oh, come on! There aren't even any pictures! The closest you might get is if you find a Bible with pictures and they'll probably have something showing Adam and Eve. But Eve is always covered by her flowing hair and vegetation. And half the time she's not even that good looking!

Then you haven't seen the versions of the Bible I have... only available in back-alley Christian stores...

55. So fundies can slit their wrists with the sharp corners when they realise their lives were based on a lie.
'We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.' H.L. Mencken

'False religion' is the ultimate tautology.

'It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.' Mark Twain

'I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.' Abraham Lincoln
Find
Reply
Cego_Colher Offline
Commissioner of the Tea
**
Religious Views: None
Posts: 339
Threads: 11
Joined: June 29, 2010
Reputation: 5
#58
RE: 101 uses for Bible
August 23, 2010 at 6:04 pm
why do I get the urge to try to draw a sexy Eve? (and why was I thinking Eevee when I typed that? uh-oh.)
[Image: siggy2_by_Cego_Colher.jpg]
Find
Reply
Entropist Offline
I'm bored. Entertain me.
**
Religious Views: None, nothing, nada, naught, nil, zero, zip, zilch.
Posts: 403
Threads: 10
Joined: August 16, 2010
Reputation: 10
#59
RE: 101 uses for Bible
August 23, 2010 at 6:35 pm (This post was last modified: August 23, 2010 at 6:37 pm by Entropist.)
(August 23, 2010 at 6:04 pm)Cego_Colher Wrote: why do I get the urge to try to draw a sexy Eve? (and why was I thinking Eevee when I typed that? uh-oh.)

[Image: cover.jpg]
“Society is not a disease, it is a disaster. What a stupid miracle that one can live in it.” ~ E.M. Cioran
Find
Reply
DiRNiS Offline
Serial Blasphemer
**
Religious Views: None
Posts: 245
Threads: 11
Joined: July 25, 2010
Reputation: 7
#60
RE: 101 uses for Bible
August 23, 2010 at 6:43 pm
(August 23, 2010 at 5:43 pm)Entropist Wrote: For jerking off to the dirty parts.

56. Using one of its pages for cleaning yourself up after jerking off to Eve.

Christianity: The belief that a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree...

Atheist I Evolved!
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Discussion › Off Topic v
101 uses for Bible

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Attention seeking thread #101 Mystic 7 903 April 21, 2018 at 11:06 am
Last Post: Anomalocaris
  Good uses for drones? Gawdzilla Sama 17 1758 February 12, 2018 at 8:51 pm
Last Post: Martian Mermaid
  The Worrds "Shit" and "Fuck" - A Scholarly Treatise of their Uses and Etymoloty Rhondazvous 23 6952 November 21, 2015 at 10:22 pm
Last Post: *Deidre*
  Room 101 ManMachine 9 2226 November 5, 2014 at 10:21 am
Last Post: robvalue
  101 Years Ago A Theist 14 6638 April 16, 2013 at 7:27 am
Last Post: A Theist
  HUMOUR: Uses Of The Word F***! Kyuuketsuki 14 4800 April 7, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Last Post: fr0d0
  Room 101 bozo 10 6120 November 13, 2008 at 6:45 pm
Last Post: Jason Jarred



Users browsing this thread: 15 Guest(s)