Not every pedophile is a rapist.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Wehn you become a parent, you'll understand the problem with this post, Rob. Helping my child avoid molestation was more important than helping any number of pedophiles -- because as a parent, I could not afford to think otherwise. As a parent, my responsibility was, and is, to my child.

While I sure want to understand the problems that turn people into pedophiles, I sure in hell am not going to take the chance that he might "grab and rape" my child.

"About 60% of children who are sexually abused are abused by the people the family trusts." ~ CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE STATISTICS: Perpetrators

Of course. I'm not sure how that answers my point, though.

[Losty]

Of course I will want any child abuser put away in prison for as long as possible, as much as anyone else. But the problem is with assuming all/most paedophiles will be child abusers. Since we have so little data, it's a ridiculous conclusion to draw. As has been said, if we only know about abusers that get caught, and have no idea how many non-abusers there are, it's a self-selecting sample.

It's not self-selecting. It's selected by the efficiency of law-enforcement, the willingness and/or ability of victims to report the crime, and the ability of prosecutors to prove the incident happened.

I wouldn't call that conclusion "ridiculous".  "Unsupported"? Sure. "Erring on the side of caution"? Just as surely.

Because you cannot, and do not, know if and when any particular pedophile will give into his drive.

I'd say it's highly a highly unreasonable assumption. Being a child molester doesn't even make a person a pedophile. Rapists don't usually seek out people based on sexual attraction. I'd say the vast majority of them seek out victims based on accessibility and likelihood of not being caught.

[Athene]

Who are you to say they have a habitual like for criminal acts? Have you asked them? Everything I've read where they're allowed to speak freely they seem to be against any and all criminal acts associated with their sexual desires. You can no easier change what you're attracted to than they can.

@Bella, Calling someone a pedo-lover...lol. Okay then. I happen to be a firm believer that all human beings should be treated as such, if that makes me a pedo-lover...I'm not ashamed of such a title. I care about people and their actions and their intentions. I want to die every day and yet I am not suicidal. Our brains do things we cannot understand and things we have no control over and no one should be hated or demonized for that. If someone is concerned that something going on in their brain could be a potential threat they should be safe to come forward and seek help.

Would I leave my children in the care of an admitted pedophile? No, of course not. Neither would I leave them in the care of a 16 year old especially not one with a cell phone and a boyfriend. We take extra precautions when it comes to our kids because they're incapable of caring for themselves. Doesn't speak to the issue at all. Being sexually attracted to someone in no way makes you at risk of raping that person. I'm sexually attracted to people that I have no desire to have sex with whatsoever.

I don't know where the bigot thing keeps coming from. As far as I can tell no one here has called anyone a bigot. It's a sensitive topic. People are understandably horrified at even the idea. I get that. Just because I disagree with you doesn't mean I think you're bigot. It means I think you're uninformed on the topic and uninterested in the opinions of medical professionals. In short, it simply means I think you're opinion is wrong. That's life, people disagree sometimes.

Thena wrote
What keeps pedophiles silent, is their strong, habitual like for criminal acts that disrupt and shatter lives, in my opinion.

The post above was in response to post that essentially stated that lack of acceptance/understanding is what keeps pedophiles silent and/or in the shadows. I disagreed.
While that may very well be the case, in part, I was suggesting that it's the very penchants they hold that keeps them silent.

That post accurately defines a penchant: a strong, habitual liking or fondness. Not the commission of an act. Pedophiles do in fact have a sexual fascination/interest in children. Regardless of whether they act on it, or not their sexual interest lies in acts that are indeed, highly illegal. 

Is that not true?

[robvalue]

I'm all for protecting children. But I really want to hear practical solutions. Just being angry at paedophiles doesn't achieve anything. Of course we should all keep our children safe, from everyone. But these people exist. Our children are not any safer because we hate them. If we're putting our children in positions where strangers can easily grab them, we are awful parents.

So what do we do? Does making sure they never tell anyone help? Because I think it makes it worse, both for them, and for society. What else does a negative attitude achieve?

[Thumpalumpacus]

We only know about offenders. No one is coming forward to say they are a paedophile, so we have literally no idea how many are out there. So we would be concluding there are next to zero paedophiles in the world keeping quiet and not abusing. I don't find that reasonable, I find it highly improbable.

That's exactly my point. Given the inbuilt inefficiencies of law enforcement, and the reticence of victims to speak up, the odds are that, as Thena implied, there are a lot more pedophiles out there who act out their drives than we actually know about.

How might you encourage pedophiles to admit this urge of theirs, given the opprobrium attached to acting it out? There's the nub.

[robvalue]

By doing what I'm doing now, trying to change people's attitudes. They will never speak out when they know everyone will ostracise them.

[Thumpalumpacus]

I'd say it's highly a highly unreasonable assumption. Being a child molester doesn't even make a person a pedophile. Rapists don't usually seek out people based on sexual attraction. I'd say the vast majority of them seek out victims based on accessibility and likelihood of not being caught.

Being a child molester makes a person scum. I don't really care whether the motive is sexual attraction, power dynamics, drunkenness, or what-have-you.

But I'd be willing to bet that child rape is underreported, and therefore underprosecuted. Assumption? Sure. Unreasonable? Not at all.

And the point in that post of mine, that you cannot predict if or when a pedophile will give in to his or her urge, remains unanswered.

[Thumpalumpacus]

By doing what I'm doing now, trying to change people's attitudes. They will never speak out when they know everyone will ostracise them.

Do you think parents are wrong for ostracizing them?

[robvalue]

Every man might be a rapist too...

I'd still like to see practical solutions here. Since no one is coming forward, you don't even know who to keep your kids safe from. So what do you do?

Ostracising an offender, no that's fine. Ostracising someone just for their urges, yes that's very wrong. That's the problem.

[Losty]

I'd say it's highly a highly unreasonable assumption. Being a child molester doesn't even make a person a pedophile. Rapists don't usually seek out people based on sexual attraction. I'd say the vast majority of them seek out victims based on accessibility and likelihood of not being caught.

Being a child molester makes a person scum. I don't really care whether the motive is sexual attraction, power dynamics, drunkenness, or what-have-you.

But I'd be willing to bet that child rape is underreported, and therefore underprosecuted. Assumption? Sure. Unreasonable? Not at all.

And the point in that post of mine, that you cannot predict if or when a pedophile will give in to his or her urge, remains unanswered.

I'm lost at the relevance I suppose. Is a child molestor scum..sure but you're allowing your emotions to get in the way of the conversation. I'm only saying that being a child molestor doesn't make someone a pedophile and being a pedophile doesn't make someone a child molestor. And I think saying either one is unreasonable. That was my entire point. Everything else is just emotional baggage added in. Of course we protect our children. How is that relevant to the topic at hand though?