basket case rant

[Dotard]

Yes mate, it made perfect sense to me. I think that's how it works with mentally healthy people.

LOL. Me?! Mentally healthy?! I know quite a few people who would argue that point with you.

Maybe she loves you in the way I love my ex'es. Maybe she sincerly was hoping to hear you are happy, healthy and doing well. I dunno, just saying that could have been a possibility.
I can't think of any of my ex'es whom if they contacted me for a social "How ya been?" call I would spit fire at.
I always keep in mind they're women, they can't help the way they are. They're hard-wired that way. I don't hold it against them as they, the ones I know, don't hold my 'hard-wiring' against me.

[RachelSkates]

The worse pain would have been never hearing back from you. She will relish that you responded, but no response would have been frustrated unknowing agony.

Never speak to her again.

She will write back......when she does, go straight to a therapist, guru, anything to handle the obsessions, but if you write back, she will know you are thinking about her and that will be enough to make her day, week, month, etc if she is particularly narcissistic.

Narcissists love negative thoughts about them as long as they are thought about. A calm rejection with no further thought ........yikes.

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

The worse pain would have been never hearing back from you. She will relish that you responded, but no response would have been frustrated unknowing agony.

Never speak to her again.

She will write back......when she does, go straight to a therapist, guru, anything to handle the obsessions, but if you write back, she will know you are thinking about her and that will be enough to make her day, week, month, etc if she is particularly narcissistic.

Narcissists love negative thoughts about them as long as they are thought about. A calm rejection with no further thought ........yikes.

Thank you Rachel.

Fortunately, I have a wonderful friend of over 35 years. He was a 17 year old street kid when I met him. I took him in,as simply the right thing to do. A brilliant person with true total recall,he is today a registered psychiatric nurse and counselor AS WELL AS a prosecuting barrister(like a US ADA) He is always there for me. He was the catalyst for getting out of that raving co-dependent relationship. He can be very confronting,in the most caring way,which is is what I've been getting from him this week. It was his diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder. I share some of the features of that disorder.

I'm not expecting her to write back any time soon. Last time was 6 years ago. I initiated contact,and I had the last word,which from memory was " please do not contact me again"

This time I'm hoping the arteriosclerosis will have kicked in before before she contacts again,and will have forgotten her.. I always thought there had to be at least one positive thing about that terrifying condition.

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

I always keep in mind they're women, they can't help the way they are. They're hard-wired that way. I don't hold it against them as they, the ones I know, don't hold my 'hard-wiring' against me.

A brave/foolish man to post here without a smiley

I was a born in 1947 and grew up in a society and home with rigidly defined gender roles.


Feminism confused the fuck out of me. I found Germaine Greer scary,thought Betty Friedan was a genius but a crank, and that Shire Hite was a nasty piece of work.. In the 60's I quickly learned to say the right things.Otherwise I'd never have gotten laid. It took me a few years to internalise the ideas of equality feminism as rational and just. (perhaps partially due to my sister;an angry-militant-lesbian--separatist -feminist,quite terrifying)


Did I ever mention running into Dr Greer at her favourite Cambride pub? It's called "The Scrotum and Scalpel"

[RachelSkates]

Yes- despite all the books and research and movements, men and still men and women are still women. We are indeed hard wired and I doubt anything short of genetic alteration will make us turn into what the other actually needs.

I find it weird that what we need from the other gender, it cannot provide. And now that women are not forced to need men ( we can work, etc), they are in droves choosing to not marry at high rates.

But I am no anthropologist. I like reading them thought. Moral Animal was a damn good read. Eye opener.

[Shell B]

My answer to you is short and sweet. You're reaction was normal. Her contacting you is normal and who says there is an age limit for pining for unrequited love?