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RE: Give what you get?
July 18, 2017 at 5:55 pm
(July 18, 2017 at 5:52 pm)*Deidre* Wrote: (July 18, 2017 at 5:50 pm)mh.brewer Wrote: bold mine
That's a passive position, one I don't agree with either.
The high road is good, unless you have vertigo.
Instead of silence try sarcasm! (that was really mean, good job, you must be so proud)
If you have to sacrifice your integrity to keep a friend, is that really worth it? I don't follow why you think that's a passive position.
lol @ sarcasm. Maybe I'll try that. 
Sacrificing integrity is not the "high road". Sorry for any confusion. Sacrificing integrity is the passive part.
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.
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RE: Give what you get?
July 18, 2017 at 5:58 pm
(July 18, 2017 at 5:55 pm)mh.brewer Wrote: (July 18, 2017 at 5:52 pm)*Deidre* Wrote: If you have to sacrifice your integrity to keep a friend, is that really worth it? I don't follow why you think that's a passive position.
lol @ sarcasm. Maybe I'll try that.
Sacrificing integrity is not the "high road". Sorry for any confusion. Sacrificing integrity is the passive part.
Okay, lol I agree.
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RE: Give what you get?
July 18, 2017 at 5:58 pm
(This post was last modified: July 18, 2017 at 6:02 pm by The Grand Nudger.)
(July 18, 2017 at 5:32 pm)*Deidre* Wrote: (July 18, 2017 at 4:38 pm)Khemikal Wrote: Who puts any thought into this, legit question. How often does anyone find themselves doing a sort of mental calculus of kindness?
People who are taken advantage of, that's who. If you've never been taken advantage of when you've shown kindness to mean people, congratulations. Not really what I was aiming at, lol. More along the lines of..personally, finding my extension of kindness to be arbitrary or capricious. I;ve been taken advantage of in kindness, but I'm not a nice person or a high road person..so it;s usually a mistake that a person makes once and never again.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: Give what you get?
July 18, 2017 at 6:00 pm
(July 18, 2017 at 5:58 pm)Khemikal Wrote: (July 18, 2017 at 5:32 pm)*Deidre* Wrote: People who are taken advantage of, that's who. If you've never been taken advantage of when you've shown kindness to mean people, congratulations. Not really what I was aiming at, lol. More along the lines of..personally, finding my extension of kindness to be arbitrary or capricious. I;ve been taken advantage of, but I;m not a nice person or a high road person..so it;s usually a mistake that a person makes once and never again.
lol  You have honesty going for you.
It's interesting how everyone is different. And the same, all in one.
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RE: Give what you get?
July 18, 2017 at 6:02 pm
(This post was last modified: July 18, 2017 at 6:16 pm by The Grand Nudger.)
So, a minor not entirely incriminating example. I used to give a bum my can of progresso on the way to work. I heard, in passing..from my convenience store guy, that some bum was trying to barter a can of soup for a tall boy. So...the next time I drove by, I pelted him with that can of soup @ 45mph. I hope the soup really stuck to his ribs, that time.
(July 18, 2017 at 5:52 pm)*Deidre* Wrote: If you have to sacrifice your integrity to keep a friend, is that really worth it? I don't follow why you think that's a passive position.
lol @ sarcasm. Maybe I'll try that.
I missed this one. So, depends, do they give good head? I feel like this one is screaming for a cost-benefit analysis. My integrity is worth little on a good day. The market price for good head...difficult to calculate.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: Give what you get?
July 18, 2017 at 6:17 pm
(July 18, 2017 at 6:02 pm)Khemikal Wrote: So, a minor not entirely incriminating example. I used to give a bum my can of progresso on the way to work. I heard, in passing..from my convenience store guy, that some bum was trying to barter a can of soup for a tall boy. So...the next time I drove by, I pelted him with that can of soup @ 45mph. I hope the soup really stuck to his ribs, that time.
(July 18, 2017 at 5:52 pm)*Deidre* Wrote: If you have to sacrifice your integrity to keep a friend, is that really worth it? I don't follow why you think that's a passive position.
lol @ sarcasm. Maybe I'll try that.
I missed this one. So, depends, do they give good head? I feel like this one is screaming for a cost-benefit analysis. I wouldn't sacrifice my integrity for mind blowing sex, nope. 
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RE: Give what you get?
July 18, 2017 at 6:18 pm
Never ever, especially if my mother is reading this.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: Give what you get?
July 18, 2017 at 7:02 pm
(July 18, 2017 at 5:43 pm)*Deidre* Wrote: (July 18, 2017 at 5:40 pm)Thumpalumpacus Wrote: And for family, friends, and lovers, I will offer that up, because I like doing things for the people I love. Reciprocity is appreciated ... but if it is rarely or never offered, I will dial back a little.
I totally agree with this. Is it wrong to 'dial it back?' I don't think it is. And if someone is honestly not a friend and is really just a user, then it's better imo to recognize the situation for what it is.
I think it's also wise to understand that sometimes we can misplace our affections, and sometimes need to recalibrate that. I don't feel guilty for it, myself.
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RE: Give what you get?
July 18, 2017 at 7:24 pm
(July 18, 2017 at 4:05 pm)*Deidre* Wrote: I have a friend who tends to believe in the "give what she gets" mantra. If someone hurts her, she doesn't retaliate, but she will either dump him/her as a friend or she will simply not go out of her way the next time. If people are kind to her, she is kind in return. She doesn't intiate the kindness, she waits to see how someone will treat her, then she acts, accordingly. I guess it can prevent doormat syndrome. What do you think of the idea of "giving what you get?"
If she gets into a room with someone like her, it's going to be a pretty boring day.
My policy is to greet people warmly when we first meet, no matter who they are, and then if they're dicks, I'll say, "You're a fucking dick. Don't talk to me anymore."
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RE: Give what you get?
July 18, 2017 at 8:20 pm
(July 18, 2017 at 5:58 pm)Khemikal Wrote: More along the lines of..personally, finding my extension of kindness to be arbitrary or capricious. I;ve been taken advantage of in kindness, but I'm not a nice person or a high road person..so it;s usually a mistake that a person makes once and never again.
That's a good way to put it; it's how I deal with strangers. As opposed to the loved ones I mentioned earlier, strangers get much less leeway to fuck with me. I don't mind getting burnt, but I don't forget when it's our first dealing together and accompanied by it.
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