Hurricane Harvey

[Joods]

How come jesus doesn't show up with a great big fucking sponge?

Because he's imaginary.

Better believe all the christards will be singing praises that they survived this...never once asking the Almighty why the fuck he set a hurricane down to begin with.

[brewer]

I'm glad Thump and Teresa's brothers are doing well.

I'm not in Houston. I'm about two hours east of Dallas up near Oklahoma and Arkansas. It's cloudy but my neighbor's wind chimes aren't even ringing. No hurricane is coming this far north and we haven't had a tornado since 1982. Maybe I should go to Google and see if these are famous last words.

Min and Vorl are hilarious.

Sorry young lady. For some reason I had you outside of Houston (I guess you are but that's reeeeeeealy outside).

[Thumpalumpacus]

I'm not in Houston. I'm about two hours east of Dallas up near Oklahoma and Arkansas.

I'm glad to be wrong in this case. You gotta be up around Longview, then? I've got family up that way, in Camp County.

Enjoy your good weather, ma'am.

---

Jesus don't do floors, Homie.

Jesus don't do shit, bro.

... let's not talk about his fanbois, though ...

**********

And an update: the rain is picking up, and the wind as well, but things are still copacetic so far, where I am. I just have to huff my cigarettes faster so I don't get soaked.

[Rhondazvous]

This guy applied for a job at the Texas hurricane Observation commission. The position paid well, but you had to be willing to travel.

On his cover letter he told the interviewer to only call him after 5:30 because he’s self employed and his boss didn’t know he was looking for a new job.

He went down to Brooks Brothers to get a nice suit so he could look nice at the interview, but when he got to the cash register he realized he didn’t have any money in his account because his bank had put a stop payment on his reality check. He was expecting money from an insurance company, but they denied his claims for damages caused by an act of god because they knew he was an atheist.

In desperation he broke into the police station and stole all the toilet seats hoping to sell them. He got away with it because investigators looking into the crime had nothing to go on.

His friends told him if he wanted a good job he had to be smarter than that. So he went out and bought a sic pack of beer, because his name is Buddy and he read somewhere that beer makes Bud wiser.

In this state of mind he went to the interview at the Texas Hurricane Observation Commission. I don’t remember the rest of it. I hear it’s just a lot of wind.

[Losty]

People in coastal areas not wanting to evacuate have been advised to take a Sharpie marker and write their names and social security numbers on their arms to speed up IDing their remains.

Yeah, I saw that, that's nuts.

-Teresa

Wait...seriously? I thought that was a joke.

[Edwardo Piet]

Yeah, it isn't looking pretty. With hurricanes, it's hard to tell what will happen, at least as far as flooding is concerned. I hope your family, and everyone else's will be okay.

More reasons to come to the UK with horrible natural disasters like that in America.

But of course... we do suffer from a severe case of Brexshit here (that's not a typo).

---

How come jesus doesn't show up with a great big fucking sponge?

Because he's imaginary.

Really?

[Minimalist]

Yeah, I saw that, that's nuts.

-Teresa

Wait...seriously? I thought that was a joke.

Nope.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/mayor-tells-eva...d=49417573

Mayor tells those not evacuating for hurricane to put Social Security numbers on arms

"We’re suggesting if people are going to stay here, mark their arm with a Sharpie pen with their name and Social Security number," Rockport Mayor Pro Tem Patrick Rios said at a news conference this morning.

[Losty]

Wow that's crazy

[Thumpalumpacus]

[Minimalist]

Wow that's crazy

It's Texass.