Grade school girls can't say No when asked to dance

[Catholic_Lady]

The title is a bit misleading. No one can say no unless there is a legitimate issue. Not just girls to boys.

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I can kinda see both sides, to be honest. The dance is voluntary. If you don't feel comfortable with the rules, don't go to the dance.

I don’t agree that young kids should have to miss their school dance simply because they don’t want to be forced to slow dance with a person who they may not even want to touch.  Aren’t we supposed to be teaching our kids bodily autonomy?  Hell, my kid is three and a half and we’ve already had the, “this is your bubble of personal space.” talk.

I don’t think, “you should let someone touch you even if you don’t want them to, because it’s the polite thing to do.” is the right message to be sending our youth.

It's not a rule I would support, personally. But I don't think it's a huge scandalous thing, either. The intent/message isn't to let anyone and everyone touch you. It seems like a bit of a stretch to take that from the article.

According to the article, this dance is voluntary and the way it works is each kid writes down the name of 5 people they want to do a dance with, and they then get paired up that way for each song. If there is a someone in particular a kid does not feel comfortable dancing with for whatever reason, they need to notify the adult ahead of time and they wont have to dance with that kid.

[Shell B]

During my younger days while camping we were paired with camp-buddies who were decided by pseudo-lottery (cause the pairings often seemed suspiciously pre-determined to me) and we weren't allowed to say 'no'. I can sort of understand how that helps teach inclusion, cause no matter how we felt about each other, we had to work together to get the badges. But in this case, the policy seems quite misguided and does in fact send the wrong message. I fully agree with the mom in this instance.

That sounds like a healthy way to teach kids how to work together no matter how much they like or dislike their partner. That's certainly something they'll need in the workplace. Dancing is more intimate, so I agree with you. Forcing kids to say yes to everyone is definitely going to give the wrong message. Compulsory pairings in classes, gym, sports teams, etc. would be far more beneficial, and it's also where kids get embarrassed the most publicly.

[John V]

Anyone should be allowed to say "no" when asked by a white male.


Aside from that, the mandatory "yes" policy is fine.

Carry on.

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You guys aren't thinking of the trauma a "no" might cause in a boy of color, or a disabled boy, or a lesbian, or a trans boy.

[Shell B]

Those are poor values too teach children indeed .

 I suspect obedience being paramount is a big part of why it ended up happening.

But still, not learning how to deal with rejection... in the immortal words of Spanky Ham, nothing can possibly go wrong!

Holy shit, that kid is creepy as fuck. He must have been super fucking weird to be around for him to wind up alone, because he's right. He is attractive. Sorry, was. He was also outfitted with all of the goodies that are so important in your early 20s, a nice car, nice clothes. This guy was the ultimate whiny fucking incel. "Cascading blonde hair." Seriously, shut the fuck up. He should have just killed himself first.

[Catholic_Lady]

 I suspect obedience being paramount is a big part of why it ended up happening.

But still, not learning how to deal with rejection... in the immortal words of Spanky Ham, nothing can possibly go wrong!

Holy shit, that kid is creepy as fuck. He must have been super fucking weird to be around for him to wind up alone, because he's right. He is attractive. Sorry, was. He was also outfitted with all of the goodies that are so important in your early 20s, a nice car, nice clothes. This guy was the ultimate whiny fucking incel. "Cascading blonde hair." Seriously, shut the fuck up. He should have just killed himself first.

You should read his manifesto, which is free online. He was crazy. Severe mental illness.

[Shell B]

Anyone should be allowed to say "no" when asked by a white male.


Aside from that, the mandatory "yes" policy is fine.

Carry on.

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You guys aren't thinking of the trauma a "no" might cause in a boy of color, or a disabled boy, or a lesbian, or a trans boy.

What on earth are you on about? Everyone in here who isn't cool with the mandatory yes isn't cool with it in any instance. You just want them to be thinking the way you just babbled because it would give you a chance to point out how hypocritical they are. Why not look for actual instances instead of making shit up to inflate your own self-importance? You are one bonkers-ass motherfucker.

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You should read his manifesto, which is free online. He was crazy. Severe mental illness.

I'm personally not a fan of the whole "murdering assholes are mentally ill" mentality because I think it makes mentally ill people all look crazy. Alas, being a sociopath is something of a mental illness, so it is somewhat true. Still, I like to make the distinction. The vast majority of mentally ill people are not psycho or sociopaths. Thanks for the tip. I'll check it out when I have time for some light reading.

[Rev. Rye]

 I suspect obedience being paramount is a big part of why it ended up happening.

But still, not learning how to deal with rejection... in the immortal words of Spanky Ham, nothing can possibly go wrong!

Holy shit, that kid is creepy as fuck. He must have been super fucking weird to be around for him to wind up alone, because he's right. He is attractive. Sorry, was. He was also outfitted with all of the goodies that are so important in your early 20s, a nice car, nice clothes. This guy was the ultimate whiny fucking incel. "Cascading blonde hair." Seriously, shut the fuck up. He should have just killed himself first.

Well, apparently, according to his manifesto, he had been known to lash out against other people simply for being in a relationship, not just on his paper and not just in the massacre, but in real life as well.

I saw a young couple standing in line. The two of them were kissing passionately. The boy looked like an obnoxious punk; he was tall and wore baggy pants. The girl was a pretty blonde! They looked like they were in the throes of passionate sexual attraction to each other, rubbing their bodies together and tongue kissing in front of everyone. I was absolutely livid with envious hatred. When they left the store I followed them to their car and splashed my coffee all over them. The boy yelled at me and I quickly ran away in fear. I was panicking as I got into my car and drove off, shaking with rage-fueled excitement. . . . I wanted to do horrible things to that couple. I wanted to inflict pain on all young couples. It was around this point in my life that I realized I was capable of doing such things. I would happily do such things. I was capable of killing them, and I wanted to. I wanted to kill them slowly, to strip the skins off their flesh. They deserve it. The males deserve it for taking the females away from me, and the females deserve it for choosing those males instead of me.

Am i the only one to think Look Sharp has gotten a lot more awkward to listen to after Elliot Rodger? Well, at least Joe Jackson didn't kill anyone.

[Catholic_Lady]

Anyone should be allowed to say "no" when asked by a white male.


Aside from that, the mandatory "yes" policy is fine.

Carry on.

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You guys aren't thinking of the trauma a "no" might cause in a boy of color, or a disabled boy, or a lesbian, or a trans boy.

What on earth are you on about? Everyone in here who isn't cool with the mandatory yes isn't cool with it in any instance. You just want them to be thinking the way you just babbled because it would give you a chance to point out how hypocritical they are. Why not look for actual instances instead of making shit up to inflate your own self-importance? You are one bonkers-ass motherfucker.

---

You should read his manifesto, which is free online. He was crazy. Severe mental illness.

I'm personally not a fan of the whole "murdering assholes are mentally ill" mentality because I think it makes mentally ill people all look crazy. Alas, being a sociopath is something of a mental illness, so it is somewhat true. Still, I like to make the distinction. The vast majority of mentally ill people are not psycho or sociopaths. Thanks for the tip. I'll check it out when I have time for some light reading.

I think he had some sort of Narcisistic disorder too.

[Shell B]

Quite possibly, but he was never diagnosed with one, in spite of seeing multiple professionals. This kid seems to have had some issues to me, but I firmly believe some people are just bad, mean, evil little shits.

[Rev. Rye]

Apparently, when he was much younger he was diagnosed with Asperger's. No, spree killing is not a common symptom of autism. No, it doesn't even come close to explaining all the shit he wound up doing and becoming. It may have explained it when he was just a teenager, but autism alone isn't anywhere near sufficient to explain how his entitlement and anger issues became so crippling. Then again, maybe it was just a trashcan diagnosis the psychologists gave him because they didn't know what to make of him.

Here's one example of a psychologist trying to explain it, and this may go a good way explaining how he ended up the way he did. It turns out showing your kids love primarily by buying them shit isn't a very healthy way to raise them.

https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-psycho...ot-rodger/





The sad thing is (besides this clip not being on Youtube in any other form) Elliot Rodger's understanding of being a decent person seemed to be built entirely around materialism, shit like "I saw obnoxious slobs who dressed in basketball shorts and T-shirts walking with hot girls. And there I was, decked out in Armani, all by myself. It was preposterous!" or "I saw other boys who had inferior cars driving around with hot girls in their passenger seats. I have a BMW and never had any hot girl in my passenger seat." He talked about being a "nice guy" a lot, but never once mentioned actually doing anything nice for anyone.