Posts: 5690
Threads: 8
Joined: April 3, 2014
Reputation:
68
RE: Is it normal be a hetro-sexual and having no relationship experience?
March 8, 2018 at 8:23 am
Your lack of desire for women would only be sick or strange if you were me.
And I am sick and strange.
But you really should think of your mum and dad.
Don't you think they might like to be grandparents one day?
So selfish. :-)
Posts: 43162
Threads: 720
Joined: September 21, 2008
Reputation:
133
RE: Is it normal be a hetro-sexual and having no relationship experience?
March 8, 2018 at 8:38 am
(This post was last modified: March 8, 2018 at 8:38 am by Edwardo Piet.)
(March 8, 2018 at 12:52 am)Sterben Wrote: Getting personal with people bothers me in so many ways, unless I have known them for quite a while and even then I'm still uncomfortable. Does this make a strange or sick person? If so, give a few reasons why.
I'm exactly the same way. And I'm a strange sick person, but for entirely unrelated reasons that you're very unlikely to share with me lol.
Posts: 12235
Threads: 125
Joined: January 11, 2010
Reputation:
45
RE: Is it normal be a hetro-sexual and having no relationship experience?
March 8, 2018 at 9:48 am
(March 8, 2018 at 1:48 am)Sterben Wrote: From what I gathered, I should be embracing my lack of experience and really consider the prospect that I will never wind up with anyone. Or am I misunderstanding the response?
If you’re asking which one I meant, all I really intended to convey is “you are not alone.”
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.
I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
Posts: 391
Threads: 5
Joined: January 30, 2018
Reputation:
16
RE: Is it normal be a hetro-sexual and having no relationship experience?
March 8, 2018 at 10:10 am
(This post was last modified: March 8, 2018 at 10:11 am by rskovride.)
When I boil away all of what society tells me about romantic and sexual relationships (which is horrible btw imo), I end up with just another activity for the purpose of getting that shot of endorphins, serotonin, oxytocin and dopamine. Do what makes you happy, do as little harm as possible and screw what they think. What is normal anyway?
Posts: 29107
Threads: 218
Joined: August 9, 2014
Reputation:
155
RE: Is it normal be a hetro-sexual and having no relationship experience?
March 8, 2018 at 10:24 am
Normal is shitty relationships with people staying together out of necessity/habit. It's rare I see anything else. It's nice when I do.
Posts: 5942
Threads: 112
Joined: January 8, 2016
Reputation:
50
RE: Is it normal be a hetro-sexual and having no relationship experience?
March 8, 2018 at 10:27 am
(March 8, 2018 at 10:24 am)robvalue Wrote: Normal is shitty relationships with people staying together out of necessity/habit. It's rare I see anything else. It's nice when I do.
Yeah, this is a serious issue. I'm in a kinda sorta relationship that I know will be over in May and it's beautiful and I love it. Perfect for the time and place, them we will both move on and have only positive memories of one another. I think people idealize long term relationships/love too much and get themselves stuck with somebody they eventually do not feel the same way about.
Posts: 391
Threads: 5
Joined: January 30, 2018
Reputation:
16
RE: Is it normal be a hetro-sexual and having no relationship experience?
March 8, 2018 at 10:36 am
(March 8, 2018 at 10:27 am)Aegon Wrote: (March 8, 2018 at 10:24 am)robvalue Wrote: Normal is shitty relationships with people staying together out of necessity/habit. It's rare I see anything else. It's nice when I do.
Yeah, this is a serious issue. I'm in a kinda sorta relationship that I know will be over in May and it's beautiful and I love it. Perfect for the time and place, them we will both move on and have only positive memories of one another. I think people idealize long term relationships/love too much and get themselves stuck with somebody they eventually do not feel the same way about.
This is another religious influence that isn't talked about much. It's so pervasive and common that it is overlooked; even in the atheist community the religious influence on sexuality is still practiced. This is and will be a big hurtle to get past I think.
Posts: 15452
Threads: 147
Joined: June 15, 2015
Reputation:
88
RE: Is it normal be a hetro-sexual and having no relationship experience?
March 8, 2018 at 10:55 am
(March 8, 2018 at 12:52 am)Sterben Wrote: Hello, I'm almost thirty-one and I have yet to be in any type of relationship with the opposite-sex. The strange thing about it is the I primarily do not care that I have no sex-life nor a desire for a partner in life. As well, I find computers and electronics more appealing then woman(not in a sexual way). If you told me, "Hey, Sterben a friend of mine is looking to start dating. She's a nice girl and I think you two have a lot in common. Would you like to join (Your partners name ), and (Your name) for a dinner date?" I would really not want to go, on the grounds of I rather be taking photos of a landscape or a activity I can do by myself.
Getting personal with people bothers me in so many ways, unless I have known them for quite a while and even then I'm still uncomfortable. Does this make a strange or sick person? If so, give a few reasons why.
No desire whatsoever for sex or a life partner or even girlfriends?? Yeah, I would consider this outside the norm. It could be a lot of things, though without knowing anything else about you, I can't really give any theories.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh
Posts: 11697
Threads: 117
Joined: November 5, 2016
Reputation:
43
RE: Is it normal be a hetro-sexual and having no relationship experience?
March 8, 2018 at 11:32 am
(March 8, 2018 at 12:52 am)Sterben Wrote: Hello, I'm almost thirty-one and I have yet to be in any type of relationship with the opposite-sex. The strange thing about it is the I primarily do not care that I have no sex-life nor a desire for a partner in life. As well, I find computers and electronics more appealing then woman(not in a sexual way). If you told me, "Hey, Sterben a friend of mine is looking to start dating. She's a nice girl and I think you two have a lot in common. Would you like to join (Your partners name ), and (Your name) for a dinner date?" I would really not want to go, on the grounds of I rather be taking photos of a landscape or a activity I can do by myself.
Getting personal with people bothers me in so many ways, unless I have known them for quite a while and even then I'm still uncomfortable. Does this make a strange or sick person? If so, give a few reasons why. Actually your circumstance is not as rare as you may think . I myself have knew 2 man in the same condition . Both had no interest in a relationships . One lived a long prosperous life as a horse breeder in Alberta. The other at 86 is going to bike from Montreal to New Mexico this summer . It's possible your condition is Abnormal . But that does not mean it's detrimental to you . As long as it's not adversely affecting your life . I would not worry to much .
Seek strength, not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest enemy -- myself.
Inuit Proverb
Posts: 2461
Threads: 16
Joined: November 12, 2013
Reputation:
17
RE: Is it normal be a hetro-sexual and having no relationship experience?
March 8, 2018 at 11:32 am
(This post was last modified: March 8, 2018 at 11:33 am by henryp.)
I think a lot of it comes down to options. If you're generally undesirable to the opposite sex, the task of finding a mate is pretty daunting. You'll have to put in a lot of work, face a ton of rejection, and unless you are really lucky will end up with a severely flawed partner at best.
It's a twist on the ole Woody Allen bit, "I'd never want to belong to a club that'd have me as a member." It makes sense that given the choice between being uncomfortable and struggling to find someone meh and just doing what you want, you'd pick doing what you want.
If you were George Clooney or Brad Pitt, and you were brushing off supermodels to go sit in a chair by yourself, it'd be a little weird. But not wanting to get set up with Jan from the accounting department doesn't seem that abnormal.
|