In support of the rage of man

[I_am_not_mafia]

My last drug dealer shot another guy in the face with a bow and arrow last year and he was always stoned.

Damn. I didn't know they did that.

[Belacqua]

My last drug dealer shot another guy in the face with a bow and arrow last year and he was always stoned.

But the way the arrow went into the face was probably reeeeaalllly interesting, man. Like, have you ever really looked at how an arrow goes into a face? So cool...........

[Little lunch]

I wasn't there at the time.
It was point blank and went in one cheek and out the ear, I think.
I suspect that if it had been fatal we'd be none the wiser.
He'd be buried in the bush somewhere.
When the police raided his home they found powdered brown snake venom and that's part of why he went to jail.
I know one of the guards in his unit, so I have a lot of inside info.

[bennyboy]

My last drug dealer shot another guy in the face with a bow and arrow last year and he was always stoned.

But I bet he wasn't enraged at the time.

[LadyForCamus]

From where I stand, I can't imagine that this set of people is larger than zero.  It's one thing to be deliberately aggressive-- unwanted hand on the shoulder, too-tight handshake, even getting violent just because you think you'll get what you want, and you expect to get away with it-- a lot of dick moves like that.  But to lose control of one's emotions and even behavior on purpose?  Is that even possible?  Because it seems like a paradox to me-- "I choose to lose control."

I meant, in a broader sense, not choosing to seek help for a pattern of losing control so as to minimize harm to one’s self and others. 

I think part of the problem is that people justify their lack of control, and that is taken at face value.  Does a man who says, "She had it coming" really go into the scenario wanting to tee off?  Or is he trying to examine that moment and justify it after the fact, to absolve himself of moral culpability?  (I never said that, but that's the kind of thing we'd expect a particularly abusive man to say, right?)

I think "she had it coming" if better expressed would be more like "I felt threatened, trapped, and isolated, and something in me took over.  I felt like I was losing control of the situation, and I panicked."

I agree. 

Another question to ask is why many people with impulse control issues don’t seek help before they harm someone.

Much of manhood in our culture is defined by independence.  You're the bread winner, you have to carry your burden in silence like a man.  Complaining or asking for help is burdensome to others.  There's that downside to a patriarchy-- if you are a man, you are expected to be unconditionally strong.

Well, maybe we need to redefine what “strong” means to men. Strong is to gather the courage to do something incredibly difficult and uncomfortable for the well-being of a family that the man has vowed to protect.

[The Grand Nudger]

Control, lol.  That's sort of the point of patriarchal hierarchies and value making.  A man with no control is not a man, and a man that can;t control himself can not be relied on to wield control of others.

"Courage" and "bravery" are the cheap affections of the controlled. The means and appeals by which the weak are bent to will of others.

Notice that, when our resident nutters fear that they've lost control of their situation or lives..they begin to place inordinate importance on their "strength". Which can be counted by how many inches a tube tv can be thrown, or how hard they can shake a tree. The failure to present typified human masculinity sends them off searching for power animals and totems and condolences. And blaming it on the pussy, ofc. When is it not the pussy's fault, whatever it is?

[bennyboy]

I meant, in a broader sense, not choosing to seek help for a pattern of losing control so as to minimize harm to one’s self and others. 

Any time instinct subverts the (illusory?) agency of will, there's a problem that is likely only solvable by serious self-inspection, probably under guidance of a 3rd party. If you compulsively overeat, you really need counseling and a lot of professional support. But people usually will pretend to themselves that they don't-- they'll "start tomorrow."

If you choose a sexy moron as a mating partner, you are fucking up your entire life and ruining your parents' life time of personal and financial investment in you. You need help, but are almost certainly going to tell others to mind their own business.

I think there are two kinds of people-- those who live life perfectly and have fabulous and rewarding lives, and actual people. And the reason actual people don't have perfect and fabulous lives is that ALL of us lack necessary control in some part of life. It's a personality thing.

Some lacks of control manifest in very obvious ways, like in grown men throwing TVs, and some of them just seem like a collection of unlucky decisions. But without some Biblical sense of Evil and the failure to fight it off, I'd say that the ways in which we each lack control are pretty much a roll of the dice.

The Christians have a saying I like: "There but for the grace of God go I." Given a tiny change in DNA, or in brain structure, or given some unfortunate events in youth (mother drinking alcohol during pregnancy, abusive step-father, whatever), any one of us could be a death-row inmate, or a serial killer, or a Republican.

[The Grand Nudger]

Is this the part where we start complaining about the Chads? You really need to stop mainlining this shit, Benny. It's not good for you, it's not good for anybody.

[bennyboy]

Is this the part where we start complaining about the Chads?  You really need to stop mainlining this shit, Benny.  It's not good for you, it's not good for anybody.

The fuck you talking about now?

[The Grand Nudger]

Same thing you are bud.  All those people making terrible mistakes with sexy morons and fucking up their entire lives and wasting their parents investment.

Whole lot easier to call them Chads.  You're complaining about Chads and the Stacys who love them. You pick up the lingo when you cross the alt light threshold, after you've been sufficiently -whatever color is trendy- pilled and they reckon they may as well go full money shot.

So I guess you have that to look forward to.