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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
Things not to say on a job interview.

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Things not to say on a job interview.
Brian37 Offline
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#21
RE: Things not to say on a job interview.
February 12, 2021 at 11:15 am
(February 12, 2021 at 11:13 am)brewer Wrote: How long will it be before I'm given the safe combination?

"I have an envelope, I will just put it on your desk, make of the contents what you will".
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
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Gawdzilla Sama Offline
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#22
RE: Things not to say on a job interview.
February 12, 2021 at 2:05 pm
Teenager: My Dad says you guy make shitty cars, but I need a job to buy pot.

Interviewer: I was the same way when I was your age.
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Fake Messiah Offline
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#23
RE: Things not to say on a job interview.
February 12, 2021 at 4:31 pm
"I'm pregnant."

"I have a PhD."
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#24
RE: Things not to say on a job interview.
February 12, 2021 at 4:40 pm
'Do I get a company car?'

'Umm...this is a cashier position.'

'That's not what I asked you.'

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
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#25
RE: Things not to say on a job interview.
February 12, 2021 at 4:42 pm
To a dwarf, "I 'ates 'obbitses!"

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
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#26
RE: Things not to say on a job interview.
February 12, 2021 at 6:55 pm
To a woman, "Are those real?"

To a man, "I'm not putting that in my mouth!"

To a Mexican, "Do you like walls?"

To an Israeli, "Allahu akbar!"

To a Russian, "No windows?"

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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A. Secular Human Offline
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#27
RE: Things not to say on a job interview.
February 12, 2021 at 7:30 pm
"Do you drug test?"

Actually asked of me during an interview.

(She moved to the top of the list.)
Disappointing theists since 1968!
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Rev. Rye Online Donators
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#28
RE: Things not to say on a job interview.
February 12, 2021 at 11:22 pm
I have a bomb hidden somewhere in this building. If you hire me, I’ll tell you where it is.

This actually happened, except even dumber:

https://kearneyhub.com/news/local/allege...f887a.html
Comparing the Universal Oneness of All Life to Yo Mama since 2010.

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I was born with the gift of laughter and a sense the world is mad.
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Gawdzilla Sama Offline
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#29
RE: Things not to say on a job interview.
February 13, 2021 at 12:03 pm
"I presume there's no problem with concealed carry on this job?"

"We're a day care facility!"

"Yep, and my toddlers already have CCW permits, which is why I'm asking."
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Brian37 Offline
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#30
RE: Things not to say on a job interview.
February 13, 2021 at 12:26 pm (This post was last modified: February 13, 2021 at 12:34 pm by Brian37.)
(February 13, 2021 at 12:03 pm)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote: "I presume there's no problem with concealed carry on this job?"

"We're a day care facility!"

"Yep, and my toddlers already have CCW permits, which is why I'm asking."

^^^^^^ Could also apply a nursing home. "Granny get your gun."
"I don't use deodorant"

"Do you check lockers and backpacks?"

"Does your breakroom provide small mirrors and straws and razor blades?"

Interview at a bank. 

" I need this job here, I am a little short on cash."
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
Things not to say on a job interview.

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