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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
Things not to say when being arrested

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Things not to say when being arrested
brewer Offline Donators
wife thinks I'm part of the furniture
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#11
RE: Things not to say when being arrested
February 13, 2021 at 9:03 am
Guess where I hid my special medication.
Being told you're delusional does not necessarily mean you're mental. 
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Gawdzilla Sama Offline
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#12
RE: Things not to say when being arrested
February 13, 2021 at 9:10 am
"Your sister didn't complain about the drugs."
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The Grand Nudger Offline
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#13
RE: Things not to say when being arrested
February 13, 2021 at 9:30 am
Lemme grab my other id.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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Fake Messiah Offline
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#14
RE: Things not to say when being arrested
February 13, 2021 at 11:36 am
I’m not drunk. I’m whiskey enhanced.
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
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Angrboda Offline
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#15
RE: Things not to say when being arrested
February 13, 2021 at 11:47 am
"Fascist."
[Image: extraordinarywoo-sig.jpg]
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awty Offline
Send lawyers, guns, and money...
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#16
RE: Things not to say when being arrested
February 13, 2021 at 11:50 am
Can I snort the rest of that before you handcuff me?
What fresh hell can this be? - Dorothy Parker
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Jackie Offline
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#17
RE: Things not to say when being arrested
February 13, 2021 at 11:54 am
The body was in the trunk when I rented it.
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
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Gawdzilla Sama Offline
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#18
RE: Things not to say when being arrested
February 13, 2021 at 12:00 pm
Do not say what everybody else says:

"How many drinks have you had today?"

"Six, maybe seven. Definitely not two."
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Nay_Sayer Offline
I Say Nay!
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#19
RE: Things not to say when being arrested
February 13, 2021 at 12:31 pm (This post was last modified: February 13, 2021 at 12:55 pm by Nay_Sayer.)
"Please officer I'm just 9 years old"
"For the only way to eternal glory is a life lived in service of our Lord, FSM; Verily it is FSM who is the perfect being the name higher than all names, king of all kings and will bestow upon us all, one day, The great reclaiming"  -The Prophet Boiardi-

   
  Conservative trigger warning.
[Image: s-l640.jpg][Image: shopping?q=tbn:ANd9GcSBjdQ4tzp0y16OBYXxG...s&usqp=CAc]
                                                                                         
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Jackie Offline
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#20
RE: Things not to say when being arrested
February 13, 2021 at 12:37 pm (This post was last modified: February 13, 2021 at 12:39 pm by Jackie.)
"I recorded myself at the Capital".

FBI, "Yea, we know dumbass."
Actually true story a few years ago. Some idiot walked into a police station to report that his cocaine got stolen. The police had to have been thinking "Oh really, do tell me more.".
Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37  I also have a new blog here at https://www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
Things not to say when being arrested

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