Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread

[purplepurpose]

[pocaracas]

[Dave B]

IN THE BEGINNING WAS THE PLAN, AND WITH THE PLAN WERE THE ASSUMPTIONS, AND THE ASSUMPTIONS WERE WITHOUT FORM AND THE PLAN WAS COMPLETELY WITHOUT REALITY.

AND THE DARKNESS WAS UPON THE FACE OF THE WORKERS AND THEY SPOKE AMONGST THEMSELVES, SAYING: 

"IT IS A CROCK OF SHIT AND IT STINKETH!"

AND THE WORKERS WENT UNTO THEIR SUPERVISORS AND SAYETH: 
"IT IS A PAIL OF DUNG AND NONE CAN ABIDE THE ODOR THEREOF!"

AND THE SUPERVISORS WENT UNTO THEIR MANAGERS AND SAYETH UNTO THEM: 

"IT IS A CONTAINER OF EXCREMENT. IT IS VERY STRONG, SUCH THAT NONE CAN ABIDE IT."

AND THE MANAGERS WENT UNTO THE DIRECTORS AND SAYETH: 

"IT IS A VESSEL OF FERTILIZER AND NOTHING CAN EQUAL ITS STRENGTH."

AND THE DIRECTORS SPOKE AMONGST THEMSELVES, SAYING ONE TO ANOTHER:

“IT CONTAINS THAT WHICH AIDS GROWTH AND IS VERY POWERFUL.

AND THE DIRECTORS WENT UNTO THE VICE PRESIDENTS AND SAYETH UNTO THEM:

"IT PROMOTETH GROWTH AND FRUITFULNESS AND IS VERY POTENT."

AND THE VICE. PRESIDENTS WENT UNTO THE PRESIDENT AND SAYETH UNTO HIM:

"THIS NEW PLAN WILL ACTIVELY PROMOTE THE GROWTH AND EFFICIENCY OF THIS COMPANY.

AND THE PRESIDENT LOOKED UPON THE PLAN AND SAW THAT IT WAS GOOD AND THE PLAN BECAME THE POLICY.

THUS DID SHIT COME UNTO THE WORKERS AND THUS HAS SHIT BEEN THEIR LOT EVERMORE.

(I know it is in SHOUTY, but that's how I got it, can't be arsed to retype!)

[purplepurpose]

[Ravenshire]

[Fireball]

<leaves bill on porch for collection charges>

[Fake Messiah]

I knew it! Hogwarts was just like any Christian or Muslim college

[ignoramus]

Neither is his acting ... Judging from NYCM2 ...

[purplepurpose]

Cringy.

[purplepurpose]