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Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
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Boru; THAT was fucking hilarious .
Kevin Bloody Wilson isn't everyone;'s cup of tea, but he's mine; WARNNG: OBSCENE LANGUAGE; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arY57gOCdV8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RG_cp-xxHsw  (March 12, 2019 at 10:27 pm)fredd bear Wrote: Boru; THAT was fucking hilarious . KBW!! Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Boss: "We've had a complaint about you so I'm going to have to suspend you."
Me: *Hands over gun, badge, handcuffs, and extra ammo*. Boss: "What the fuck is wrong with you? You're a cardiologist!" Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" 
If only this was a joke:
![[Image: D1h-Qb9-BX4-AAJ8-LV.jpg]](https://i.postimg.cc/QMwQTQsQ/D1h-Qb9-BX4-AAJ8-LV.jpg)
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
(March 14, 2019 at 12:17 am)Fake Messiah Wrote: If only this was a joke:Oh Fluck! I still remember something I heard a priest say, from the pulpit, when I was about 15: It was a homily about sexuality , about which the priest was obviously an authority-and expert-in-his-own -mind He said"-------no one wants an unchaste child". I remember thinking "Well, I'm fucked", having discovered masturbation the year before. 
 ![[Image: 54278031_2232666340117714_77923756148575...e=5D1502BF]](https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/54278031_2232666340117714_7792375614857543680_n.jpg?_nc_cat=106&_nc_ht=scontent-atl3-1.xx&oh=6e07e50743880e81a141f48b8ec50b76&oe=5D1502BF) Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Ricky Gervais "If death is just the end, what's the point?" Scene
The next time a cop pulls you over, when he walks up to the window and says, 'Papers?', yell 'SCISSORS! I WIN!!' and drive off.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
(March 19, 2019 at 5:49 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: The next time a cop pulls you over, when he walks up to the window and says, 'Papers?', yell 'SCISSORS! I WIN!!' and drive off. You can't get a speeding ticket if you outrun the cop car. Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni: "You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???" RE: Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread
March 19, 2019 at 7:02 pm
(This post was last modified: March 19, 2019 at 7:03 pm by fredd bear.)
(March 19, 2019 at 6:06 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote:(March 19, 2019 at 5:49 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: The next time a cop pulls you over, when he walks up to the window and says, 'Papers?', yell 'SCISSORS! I WIN!!' and drive off. Quite right. They get your address from your number plate, then wait a bit, and go to your house and arrest you. When my grandfather was first a copper, around 1900, he had a police bicycle. He considered gambling as harmless. He hated con men and wife beaters.. ------So, when conducting a raid on the local two up school**, he would ride his bike slowly down the middle of the road ringing his bell loudly. -----When he retired, the two up school gave him a beautiful easy chair. We still have it. (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((9))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) **Two-up is a traditional Australian gambling game, involving a designated "spinner" throwing two coins or pennies into the air. Players bet on whether the coins will fall with both heads (obverse) up, both tails (reverse) up, or with one coin a head and one a tail (known as "Ewan"). It is traditionally played on Anzac Day in pubs and clubs throughout Australia, in part to mark a shared experience with Diggers through the ages. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two-up |
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