Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Just read this headline:

‘Yellowstone warns visitors not to get mixed up in elk mating season.’

How abysmally stupid do you have to be to need that warning? Honestly, a 1000 lb antlered animal is horny and stressed about it, and people need to be told to stay away?

In other news, shampoo goes on the outside.

Boru

[arewethereyet]

Just read this headline:

‘Yellowstone warns visitors not to get mixed up in elk mating season.’

How abysmally stupid do you have to be to need that warning? Honestly, a 1000 lb antlered animal is horny and stressed about it, and people need to be told to stay away?

In other news, shampoo goes on the outside.

Boru

There are those who are completely clueless when it comes to the behavior of animals.  These people travel to national parks thinking that seeing a wild animal there will be like looking at one in a zoo.  They've no idea that in their element the animals do what comes naturally and getting in the way of that behavior is often a very poor decision.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Just read this headline:

‘Yellowstone warns visitors not to get mixed up in elk mating season.’

How abysmally stupid do you have to be to need that warning? Honestly, a 1000 lb antlered animal is horny and stressed about it, and people need to be told to stay away?

In other news, shampoo goes on the outside.

Boru

There are those who are completely clueless when it comes to the behavior of animals.  These people travel to national parks thinking that seeing a wild animal there will be like looking at one in a zoo.  They've no idea that in their element the animals do what comes naturally and getting in the way of that behavior is often a very poor decision.

Yup, can’t argue that. Just saying it’s a pretty impressive level of stupidity. These are people  who can’t seem to grasp the ‘wild’ part of the term ‘wild animal’.

Boru

[Fireball]

I remember a case at a national parks back in the '60s, where a mother thought it would be cute to have a bear in the  picture with her 3 year old daughter. She smeared honey on the kid's hands and walked away to get a picture. By the time she turned around, the bear had finished that "honey-coated hands" treat. Fucking stupid. The ranger said that the mother's concept of nature was from Disney cartoons. Now raise that kid with next to nothing for hands. 

[onlinebiker]

I remember a case at a national parks back in the '60s, where a mother thought it would be cute to have a bear in the  picture with her 3 year old daughter. She smeared honey on the kid's hands and walked away to get a picture. By the time she turned around, the bear had finished that "honey-coated hands" treat. Fucking stupid. The ranger said that the mother's concept of nature was from Disney cartoons. Now raise that kid with next to nothing for hands. 

"Bambi is a fucking cartoon." - Ted Nugent

[arewethereyet]

There was a girl a couple years younger than I am who exclaimed on the bus on the way to school (high school, mind you), "Oh look! Circus cows!"

How this girl who grew up in a tiny farming town in Iowa thought that a bull mounting a cow was a parlor trick is beyond me.

[onlinebiker]

There was a girl a couple years younger than I am who exclaimed on the bus on the way to school (high school, mind you), "Oh look!  Circus cows!"

How this girl who grew up in a tiny farming town in Iowa thought that a bull mounting a cow was a parlor trick is beyond me.

I once heard a girl say - "oh look at the cute little baby boy cow".



"Non-binary bovine"?

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I wasn’t there when it happened, but a family story is that Da was giving a tour of the farm to the local agent. When they got to the boar pen - despite the large sign reading ‘Keep Well Back’ - the agent reached over the fence to check an ear tag. The rusher twitched his head and opened the palm of the agent’s hand. An inch lower and he’d have lost his hand completely.

And this guy was a professional. Stupid as well.

Boru

[arewethereyet]

I wasn’t there when it happened, but a family story is that Da was giving a tour of the farm to the local agent. When they got to the boar pen - despite the large sign reading ‘Keep Well Back’ - the agent reached over the fence to check an ear tag. The rusher twitched his head and opened the palm of the agent’s hand. An inch lower and he’d have lost his hand completely.

And this guy was a professional. Stupid as well.

Boru

One of the things I learned at a very, very young age was that hogs can be very dangerous.  Grandpa used to chase a sow out of the farrowing house so that I, or my cousin and I, could play with a new litter.  The babies would squeal when we picked them up and the mama would be bashing herself on the side of the building and screaming trying to get in.  Even the females are not to be toyed with.

[onlinebiker]

I wasn’t there when it happened, but a family story is that Da was giving a tour of the farm to the local agent. When they got to the boar pen - despite the large sign reading ‘Keep Well Back’ - the agent reached over the fence to check an ear tag. The rusher twitched his head and opened the palm of the agent’s hand. An inch lower and he’d have lost his hand completely.

And this guy was a professional. Stupid as well.

Boru

One of the things I learned at a very, very young age was that hogs can be very dangerous.  Grandpa used to chase a sow out of the farrowing house so that I, or my cousin and I, could play with a new litter.  The babies would squeal when we picked them up and the mama would be bashing herself on the side of the building and screaming trying to get in. The females are not to be toyed with - any females - ever.

FTFY