What is going to happen when Jesus returns?

[Fireball]

So what is supposed to happen, according to Christians, when Jesus returns?

From what I heard, some expect that the dead will rise from the graves and he will judge them (some Christians are even buying gravesites for themselves in the holy land, near the place of his return, so that he judges them among the first), and then he will destroy this world and create the new one populated only with Christians over which he will rule some thousand years.

But then some believe that Christians will start disappearing before he returns leaving only their clothes...

Is that it?

Why are the Christians disappearing while naked?

After all that "abstinence" here on earth? They're already on their way to saying "OMG!" forever. 

[The Valkyrie]

He already has returned.

This time in the American South, the bible belt.

He was deported to Mexico as a filthy, liberal hippy.

[arewethereyet]

He's apparently been back.  In the lower right corner is a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel.  They became a thing in the 17th century.  Must have been a low key visit on the part of Jebus.

[Gwaithmir]

Humph! A moot question, since Jesus' return is a myth. 

[Fake Messiah]

But what has the book of Revelation revealed?

[Anomalocaris]

a really trippy experience can be had well before LSD was invented?

no matter how many brains designer drugs fry, they can never touch the amount of impact brained fried without drugs have had?

[Gwaithmir]

But what has the book of Revelation revealed?

Um.....that certain biblical writers smoked a lot of hashish? 

[Ferrocyanide]

A popular line that christians refer to are these ones.
They point to these lines whenever someone predicts the endtimes and the prediction fails.

1 Thessalonians 5:1 KING JAMES VERSION
But of the times and the seasons, brethren, ye have no need that I write unto you. {5:2} For yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so cometh as a thief in the night. {5:3} For when they shall say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape. {5:4} But ye, brethren, are not in darkness, that that day should overtake you as a thief. {5:5} Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day: we are not of the night, nor of darkness. {5:6} Therefore let us not sleep, as [do] others; but let us watch and be sober. {5:7} For they that sleep sleep in the night; and they that be drunken are drunken in the night. {5:8} But let us, who are of the day, be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love; and for an helmet, the hope of salvation. {5:9} For God hath not appointed us to wrath, but to obtain salvation by our Lord Jesus Christ, {5:10} Who died for us, that, whether we wake or sleep, we should live together with him. {5:11} Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.

^^^^^This author only has brothers. It indicates to us that it is a male only society or that they don’t give much value to women.
The author says that Jesus will destroy the others and will save his followers. The people who get destroyed will feel a lot of pain.
The author is saying that other humans are a waste of space, they are garbage that are sleeping.


1 Thessalonians 4:16 KING JAMES VERSION
For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: {4:17} Then we which are alive [and] remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.

^^^^^The jews are flat earthers.
They think their god will come down from space. An archangel will use his voice to shout something.
The dead christ followers (I guess a lot of christians were executed for the first 50 to 100 y) will rise and float up first into the clouds and the author and his contemporaries which are alive are next in line.

The rest of the story is in Revelation. There are some lines about New Israel reforming. 12 layers made of various jewels. 4 gateways (I think one for south, north, east, west) and there will be never nightfall.

[no one]

Jesus never left.

I keep him in my closet.
Not to worry, it's solitary confinement.
Sauron, Megatron, Voldemort, and Thanos keep her company.

We are planning a trip to see Tinkerbell this summer.

[brewer]

Asuming that this is a seasonal question, first he will typically aerate and fertilize the lawn, then mow as necessary.

TBH: he mows more than I think is necessary.