Some people reach rock bottom with depression and some don't.
I think it's important to focus on the fact that you're not alone, other people are feeling the same pain and therefore understand yours and you understand theirs.
You're not a failure or useless. You can at least help others. You can empathise.
You have a skill that others don't. You can save lives with your understanding.
You are important and sharing your stories makes you a success because it helps others.

(August 11, 2016 at 8:56 pm)Little lunch Wrote: Some people reach rock bottom with depression and some don't.

I've lost track of this thread for a while so pardon me if I'm covering old ground here.  I've had that thought myself.  I think there is a qualitative difference between being deeply depressed and distressed about that vs just acquiescing to being deeply depressed.  There are no magic short cuts for escaping depression.  But abandoning the search for an escape can give you more time to enjoy the dregs.

(August 11, 2016 at 5:43 pm)Faith No More Wrote:  It was two years after I had pulled myself out from rock bottom(tried to kill myself) when I found my best friend's body after he had hung himself.  That sent me into very dark places.

Holy shit FNM! I can't think of anything worse

My heart breaks for you. You are such a strong and admirable person to pull through after that.

I can't even imagine... and I don't want to.

Sending you all the hugs you wish to receive. And much compassion.

Me too, my god that's awful

I find that hard to imagine, even from the dark places I've been to myself.

Thanks, guys.

Yeah, it was rough. But I just tell myself that there are many people around the globe that go through much worse on a daily basis. It's a brutal world out there and I consider myself lucky if that's the extent of If have to endure. It's been 14 years now, so I have 99.9% coped with it, Every once in a while the pain will come back like if I have a dream with him in it. The images I saw that day, while not quite as crystal clear as they were for the first few years afterwards, are still quite prevalent in my mind. It was weird, because the looks on the faces of my family and friends said that they expected me to be next, since I had already tried to kill myself once before. I swore to prove them wrong and used their expectation of my suicide as a motivator. I was also resolved to never, ever consider suicide after seeing first hand all the pain that was spread around to his friends and family.

It definitely made me a much stronger person.

I'm glad you're a lot stronger.

My heart still breaks for you though

I've been suicidal for almost 10 years now. There has only been one time when I was actually in danger of going through with it. In fact I would have definitely done so, if I had the means. Luckily I did not.

The rest of the time I've stayed just shy of the abyss, and haven't made any active plans. I promised to tell my wife immediately should I make any. At my worst I was fantasising about killing myself every waking moment, and could barely move or function. I've made considerable progress since then, and it's been those that love me who have got me through it. Without them, I doubt I'd be here today.

I now have more people who love me now than ever before, that number has grown considerably over my time on this forum. It is that strength that keeps me going; along with a desire to help others who are also suffering. It is theraputic for me to listen to and support others, even when I'm feeling totally empty inside.

You're truly wonderful and a really caring lovely guy, Rob.

Thank you so much And thank you for all the support you have given me

You too.