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joke time
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I once attended a party and Brad Pitt was there. I know, I know - they say you should never meet your heroes. But I thought Brad handled it REALLY well.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
"National Car Rental" decided to buy a Nevada Bordello. Their slogan? "National Bordello, Go fuck a pro."
CDF's IQ!
Old McDonald had a farm..... No really, he did until Trump fucked him over.
 (May 13, 2019 at 9:02 am)chimp3 Wrote: Decades ago I was making jewelry from condoms. (Still in the wrapper). Long boring story. I went to a local pharmacy and there was a dozen boxes of twelve on the shelf. I said "Give me twelve." The guy hands me one box. I said 'All twelve boxes". He was stunned. Enough for the whole afternoon eh. You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid. Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis. 
Thanos: "Where's the infinity stone?"
Doctor Strange: "It's in this dog." Thanos after killing the dog: "Did you think that would stop me?" Doctor Strange: "Wait for it..." John Wick: "Has anyone seen my new dog?" Thanos: "Fuck!" (May 16, 2019 at 1:45 pm)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote: Thanos: "Where's the infinity stone?" Since I did not get this joke, here is my response. ABBA ABBA ABBA, GUNS GUNS GUNS! And fucking change the name Redskins.  (May 16, 2019 at 1:45 pm)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote: Thanos: "Where's the infinity stone?" This looks familiar...
Dying to live, living to die.
'When one of my ex-wives died, it made me very sad because it was the wrong one.' - John Cleese
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Always give your wife exactly what she wants.
If she sends you out to buy a sofa, you better not come home with a couch.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.
I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers. Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. --Voltaire Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind. |
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