Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: November 25, 2024, 1:54 pm
Atheist Forums › Community › Religion › Christianity v
Hey is that Jesus?

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Thread Modes
Hey is that Jesus?
thesummerqueen Offline
I Make Sarcasm Look Good
*****
Religious Views: Bagels
Posts: 12586
Threads: 397
Joined: September 17, 2010
Reputation: 96
#21
RE: Hey is that Jesus?
October 12, 2011 at 2:29 pm
I'm just saying, a good Jewish boy shouldn't be wandering around like a gypsy.
[Image: Untitled2_zpswaosccbr.png]
Find
Reply
reverendjeremiah Offline
Village Idiot
****
Religious Views: | :sweiV suoigileR
Posts: 5097
Threads: 207
Joined: February 16, 2011
Reputation: 44
#22
RE: Hey is that Jesus?
October 12, 2011 at 2:31 pm
(October 12, 2011 at 2:29 pm)thesummerqueen Wrote: I'm just saying, a good Jewish boy shouldn't be wandering around like a gypsy.

Sweetheart..you just posted an amount of paradox that my head cannot contain.

It will surely burst from temporal distortion in 5-3-4-2...
My Sites: www.jesuschristarcade.com - www.facebook.com/jesuschristarcade - Twitter@jesusarcade
Find
Reply
thesummerqueen Offline
I Make Sarcasm Look Good
*****
Religious Views: Bagels
Posts: 12586
Threads: 397
Joined: September 17, 2010
Reputation: 96
#23
RE: Hey is that Jesus?
October 12, 2011 at 2:32 pm
Welcome to my world.
[Image: Untitled2_zpswaosccbr.png]
Find
Reply
searchingforanswers Offline
Junior Member
**
Religious Views: agnostic
Posts: 375
Threads: 16
Joined: June 25, 2011
Reputation: 5
#24
RE: Hey is that Jesus?
October 12, 2011 at 2:37 pm
I'd ask him if he was a virgin. Seriously, I've always wondered that. I mean as "fully human" he had to have had the urge even if you believe he was god right? At the very least, he had to have wet dreams.
If I die and god is real, im so screwed.
Find
Reply
Faith No More Offline
Better living through chemistry
*****
Religious Views: It's a drug like any other
Posts: 13051
Threads: 66
Joined: February 7, 2011
Reputation: 92
#25
RE: Hey is that Jesus?
October 12, 2011 at 2:46 pm
I'd ask that ever burning question, boxers or briefs?
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
Find
Reply
reverendjeremiah Offline
Village Idiot
****
Religious Views: | :sweiV suoigileR
Posts: 5097
Threads: 207
Joined: February 16, 2011
Reputation: 44
#26
RE: Hey is that Jesus?
October 12, 2011 at 2:48 pm (This post was last modified: October 12, 2011 at 2:48 pm by reverendjeremiah.)
In a time without toilet paper I would ask "So... how do you wipe?"

Regardless I would refuse to touch his hands, or let him touch me.
My Sites: www.jesuschristarcade.com - www.facebook.com/jesuschristarcade - Twitter@jesusarcade
Find
Reply
The Grand Nudger Offline
Retired Staff
*****
Religious Views: Invasive
Posts: 67190
Threads: 140
Joined: June 28, 2011
Reputation: 162
#27
RE: Hey is that Jesus?
October 12, 2011 at 3:01 pm (This post was last modified: October 12, 2011 at 3:01 pm by The Grand Nudger.)
I'd screw with him.

"Have you heard the good news?".......
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Find
Reply
Minimalist Offline Donators
Go Blow Jesus Out Your Ass
*****
Religious Views: Fuck It
Posts: 69247
Threads: 3759
Joined: August 2, 2009
Reputation: 259
#28
RE: Hey is that Jesus?
October 12, 2011 at 3:03 pm
Q: How did they know that Jesus was Jewish?

A: Because he lived at home until he was thirty, he went into his father's business, his mother thought he was God, and he thought his mother was a virgin.
Find
Reply
Cinjin Offline Donators
Member of the Decade
*****
Religious Views: Enlightened
Posts: 7031
Threads: 250
Joined: March 4, 2011
Reputation: 78
#29
RE: Hey is that Jesus?
October 12, 2011 at 3:56 pm
(October 12, 2011 at 3:03 pm)Minimalist Wrote: Q: How did they know that Jesus was Jewish?

A: Because he lived at home until he was thirty, he went into his father's business, his mother thought he was God, and he thought his mother was a virgin.

Good point, what possible lineage do you have when your father is a phantom impregnator of young virgins?
[Image: Evolution.png]

Find
Reply
BloodyHeretic Offline
Student
**
Religious Views: Agnostic Atheist Humanist
Posts: 312
Threads: 18
Joined: May 30, 2011
Reputation: 12
#30
RE: Hey is that Jesus?
October 12, 2011 at 4:04 pm
Get him laid, he gets her pregnant, has to get a real job or gets tied down paying family support payments. Winning
[Image: bloodyheretic.png]

"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
Einstein

When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down happy. They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life.

- John Lennon
Find
Reply


Atheist Forums › Community › Religion › Christianity v
Hey is that Jesus?

Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Hey, Nobody Said It WASN'T True YahwehIsTheWay 17 3786 December 5, 2018 at 4:28 pm
Last Post: The Grand Nudger
  Hey Min, Get Ready To Have A Field Day Rhondazvous 46 9948 April 1, 2018 at 8:01 am
Last Post: Banned
  Hey Christards! Minimalist 30 5660 August 25, 2017 at 10:52 pm
Last Post: Thumpalumpacus
  Hey, Look! They Have Assholes In England, Too! Minimalist 8 2779 February 3, 2016 at 10:39 pm
Last Post: Thumpalumpacus
  In Christianity, Does Jesus' Soul Have Anything To Do With Why Jesus Is God? JesusIsGod7 18 7835 October 7, 2014 at 12:58 pm
Last Post: JesusHChrist
  Hey you guy's and gal's I am 99% sure I solved the bible MORETORQUE 26 9132 April 10, 2013 at 9:46 pm
Last Post: MORETORQUE
  Hey Friends, I love you all :) Stevie 17 6130 August 4, 2012 at 10:12 pm
Last Post: Annik
  Hey Min DeistPaladin 8 2757 April 28, 2011 at 3:19 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Jesus the Spiritual Warrior vs Jesus the Sacrificial Lamb Dosaiah 8 7696 December 5, 2010 at 2:47 pm
Last Post: Minimalist



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)