(April 16, 2021 at 4:55 am)The Valkyrie Wrote:

(April 16, 2021 at 4:50 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: I recent purchased an old album called 'Sounds Wasps Make'. When I got it home and played it, I thought, 'This doesn't sound anything like wasp sounds.'

Then I realized I was playing the bee side.

Boru

This is why the world must end!

You're just mad because you didn't post it first.

Boru

(April 16, 2021 at 5:04 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:

(April 16, 2021 at 4:55 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: This is why the world must end!

You're just mad because you didn't post it first.

Boru

I'm just mad because I'm not drunk yet.

Why isn't there a pregnant barbie doll?

Because Ken comes in another box.

A priest is making the rounds of his parishioner's homes when he sees a nun with a broken bicycle by the side of the road. He pulls over, finds he can't fix the bike, and offers the nun a lift back to the convent.

During the drive, the nun crossers her legs, causing her habit to shift and expose a bit of thigh. Overcome, the priest places his hand on her leg and gives a little squeeze. 'Father!', says the nun. 'Remember Luke 14:10!. The priest apologizes and removes his hand.

A little later on, he changes gears and his hand lands on her thigh again. 'Father!', she says. 'Remember Luke 14:10!'

They arrive at the convent, the nun thanks him and says, 'Don't forget, Father - Luke 14:10!'

Back at the vestry, the priest takes down his Bible and opens it to Luke 14:10, where he reads,



Boru

Seeing my doctor.

"Beccs, pick a starsign."

"Ummm, okay. Capricorn."

"I'm hardly going to tell you that you have Capricorn. Pick another!"

Iggy has discovered that it is illegal to mix human and whale DNA.

Also, he's no longer welcome at SeaWorld..

(April 18, 2021 at 4:48 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: Seeing my doctor.

"Beccs, pick a starsign."

"Ummm, okay.  Capricorn."

"I'm hardly going to tell you that you have Capricorn.  Pick another!"

It sure as hell isn't Virgo!

Joe sees little Susie crying, and digging a hole in her back yard. Joe: 'What are you digging this hole for?'
Susie: 'My fish died, and I'm burying him.'
Joe: 'That's a big hole for a fish!'
Susie: 'Well, he's inside your damn cat!'

They're putting a clock into the leaning tower of Pisa.

That way it will have both the time and the inclination.

At work today:

Patient, "Am I sick?"

Me, "No. But Mercury is in Uranus."

Patient, "You're not into astrology??"

"Me, "No, but I broke my thermometer."