Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: December 15, 2024, 7:05 pm

Thread Rating:
  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
joke time
RE: joke time
(April 18, 2021 at 9:16 pm)A. Secular Human Wrote:
(April 18, 2021 at 4:48 am)The Valkyrie Wrote: Seeing my doctor.

"Beccs, pick a starsign."

"Ummm, okay.  Capricorn."

"I'm hardly going to tell you that you have Capricorn.  Pick another!"

It sure as hell isn't Virgo!

Or Pisces!

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
Someone told me that I'm condescending.

That means that I talk down to people.
Reply
RE: joke time
(April 19, 2021 at 5:27 pm)masoni Wrote: Someone told me that I'm condescending.

That means that I talk down to people.

Less discriminating minds mistake such a thing for arrogance.
Reply
RE: joke time
I thought I made a mistake once, but I was wrong.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
There's nothing funny about syphillis...

...unless your doctor has a lisp.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
An Asian guy walked into a pub and started drinking.

Iggy asked him, "Do you know kung-fu or any of that martial arts shit?"

The Asian guy responded, "Are you asking because of racial stereotype?"

Iggy replied, "No, I'm asking because that's my fucking drink!"

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Reply
RE: joke time
(April 19, 2021 at 6:00 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: There's nothing funny about syphillis...

...unless your doctor has a lisp.

It was a cruel bastard who put an ‘s’ in the word ‘lisp’.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
Nurse *handing baby to the new father*: 'I'm so sorry, sir - your wife didn't make it.'

New father *handing baby back*: 'Don't be sorry, just bring me the one my wife made.'

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
RE: joke time
What do Chris Hemsworth and Mike Tyson have in common after a workout?


They're both Thor.
Reply
RE: joke time
Once upon a time a young boy wanted a green tennis ball for his birthday, but he got a bicycle instead. Next year the boy wanted a green tennis ball, again, and again he got something different, this time a book on etiquette. On the 3rd birthday he still wanted a green tennis ball, but got some coloring pencils and a notebook to draw on. Each year, he wished for a green tennis ball, never getting a green tennis ball.

On his deathbed, surrounded by friends, family, children & grandchildren, and one of the grandchildren asked: "Why do you always want a green tennis ball for your birthday?" and he answered: "Oh, that's because ..." and then he died.
"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself — and you are the easiest person to fool." - Richard P. Feynman
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  No joke -- I have decided to convert to Christianity! Jehanne 10 2749 April 23, 2021 at 9:54 pm
Last Post: arewethereyet
  A sacred joke. Mystic 15 3310 January 20, 2018 at 10:00 pm
Last Post: Cyberman
  Big Bang Theory Neil Tyson joke Brian37 1 1607 May 18, 2016 at 8:07 pm
Last Post: vorlon13
  There Has To Be A Joke Here, Somewhere! Minimalist 3 2539 October 1, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Last Post: Zidneya
  Joke Minimalist 59 18802 June 27, 2014 at 12:25 am
Last Post: Ravenshire
  A little joke Sup 11 4743 April 10, 2014 at 7:33 pm
Last Post: BrianSoddingBoru4
  Evolution (is a) joke JesusLover1 12 9434 March 2, 2014 at 6:24 pm
Last Post: Minimalist
  Preacher joke 02 Drich 2 1993 February 12, 2014 at 7:15 am
Last Post: NoraBrimstone
  Preacher joke 01 Drich 8 4845 January 20, 2014 at 12:31 am
Last Post: Drich
  Make Up An Atheist Joke freedomfromforum 5 3050 October 6, 2013 at 12:30 am
Last Post: Angrboda



Users browsing this thread: 135 Guest(s)