Posts: 46313
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
June 14, 2021 at 6:38 pm
(This post was last modified: June 14, 2021 at 6:38 pm by BrianSoddingBoru4.)
(June 14, 2021 at 11:42 am)Darinda Wrote: It was my first time visiting Dr. Putz for a colonoscopy. I went into his office for my first rectal exam. His new blond nurse, Evelyn, took me to an examining room. She told me to get undressed and have a seat until the doctor could see me. She said that he would be only a few minutes.
After putting on the gown that she gave me I sat down. While waiting, I observed there were three items on a stand next to the exam table: a tube of K-Y jelly, a rubber glove, and a beer.
When Dr. Putz finally came in I said, "Look Doc, I'm a little confused.
This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for. And, I know what the glove is for. But can you tell me what the BEER is for?"
At that, Doctor Putz became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door. He flung the door open and yelled to his new blonde nurse, "Damn it, Evelyn!!! I said ~ A BUTT LIGHT!"
Reminds me of the one where a nurse is prepping a patient for surgery when a blood-curdling scream comes from the room. The surgeon rushes in, assesses the situation and says, ‘Oh my God, nurse - I told to remove his
spectacles!’
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 46313
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
June 16, 2021 at 5:35 am
Someone keeps sending me bunches of celery, and I can't find out who's doing it.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 46313
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
June 16, 2021 at 1:13 pm
A Marine comes into town on leave, only to find that the only hotel in town is booked up.
‘But you’ve GOT to have space somewhere,’ pleads the marine. ‘I’ll take anything, honestly.’
‘Well,’ says the manager, ‘I have one double room with just one occupant, a Navy file, and he might be willing to split the cost.’
‘Brilliant, I’ll take it!,’ says the marine.
‘Ok, but before you do, I should tell you - he snores something fierce. So loudly, in fact, that people in the adjoining rooms have complain.’
‘Not to worry,’ says the marine, I can deal with snoring.’ So he signs the register and goes up to his room.
The next morning, the marine comes downstairs looking perfectly well rested. ‘No problem with the snoring, then?’ asks the manager.
‘Nope, never heard a thing.’
‘How on earth did you manage that?’
‘Perfectly simple. He was already asleep when I got to the room. I kissed him gently on the lips and whispered, “Good night, beautiful.” He sat up all night watching me.’
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 35310
Threads: 205
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
146
RE: joke time
June 16, 2021 at 7:57 pm
A red boat hit a blue boat at sea.
Both crews were marooned.
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
Posts: 46313
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
June 16, 2021 at 8:23 pm
What do you call toast at the zoo?
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 30726
Threads: 2123
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation:
71
RE: joke time
June 17, 2021 at 1:38 pm
If I make a joke about dark matter, does that make it dark humor?
Posts: 46313
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
June 17, 2021 at 1:50 pm
(June 17, 2021 at 1:38 pm)Brian37 Wrote: If I make a joke about dark matter, does that make it dark humor?
Dunno. Make one and we'll have a vote.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Posts: 2087
Threads: 65
Joined: August 30, 2015
Reputation:
24
RE: joke time
June 17, 2021 at 5:20 pm
"I like my women like how I like Donald Trump," said the Necrophiliac.
The whole tone of Church teaching in regard to woman is, to the last degree, contemptuous and degrading. - Elizabeth Cady Stanton
Posts: 46313
Threads: 540
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
RE: joke time
June 18, 2021 at 5:26 am
Me: Go fuck yourself.
Lady in queue: Excuse me, my 10 year old can hear you.
Me: That's who I was talking to.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
