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RE: Offensive Jokes
February 9, 2015 at 10:49 pm
(Doug Stanhope's signature joke)
So I told my girlfriend I wanted to fuck her between her tits. She asked: "How are you going to make that feel good for me?"
I said: "Right before I cum, I'm going to stop punching you in the face."
"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one." - George Bernard Shaw
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RE: Offensive Jokes
February 9, 2015 at 11:15 pm
What's the difference between a seven-year-old girl and my crawlspace?
How will we know, when the morning comes, we are still human? - 2D
Don't worry, my friend. If this be the end, then so shall it be.
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RE: Offensive Jokes
February 9, 2015 at 11:24 pm
The typical shit:
Jew joke:
What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
Pizzas don't scream when burning in the oven.
Women joke:
What's the difference between a knife and a woman's argument?
The knife has a point
Islam joke:
How do you start a joke about Islam?
By looking over the shoulder first
Man joke:
What's the smartest thing a man can say?
"My wife says..."
Blonde jokes:
- Shrink asks the blonde - "Do you hear any abnormal voices or sounds inside your head"
-Blonde replies - "Yes, all the time"
- Shrink asks - "When"
- Blonde replies - "When I pick up the cellphone"
Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you
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RE: Offensive Jokes
February 9, 2015 at 11:25 pm
(This post was last modified: February 9, 2015 at 11:26 pm by Losty.)
What's the difference between a pizza and a mexican?
A mexican can feed a family of four
Did you hear about the 2 car pile up at the Home Depot?
50 Mexicans died
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay
0/10
Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
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RE: Offensive Jokes
May 16, 2015 at 11:02 pm
An Essex girl is walking home from the pub and chatting to her mate on the phone. She's so engrossed in the conversation that she steps out into the road, right in front of a taxicab. The driver slams on the brakes, but can't avoid knocking her to the kerb.
He jumps out and hurries over to where she's lying in the gutter, sobbing in pain and shock. He kneels down beside her.
"I'm so, so sorry, I didn't see you! Are you hurt?" he says.
The girl wails, "I can't see - everything's a blur!"
Trying not to panic, the taxi driver holds out his hand. "How many fingers have I got up?" he asks.
The girl wails even louder. "Oh, don't tell me I'm paralysed from the waist down as well!"
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: Offensive Jokes
May 21, 2015 at 4:30 pm
So Jesus walks into a motel. He throws three nails on the counter and says to the clerk "hey, can you put me up for the night?"
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
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RE: Offensive Jokes
May 21, 2015 at 4:58 pm
What's the term for someone who hangs around with a group of musicians?
A drummer.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
