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RE: joke time
May 10, 2019 at 3:46 pm
Trump, "My son is a good person"..... Yes, now we have the alternative ending to "The Empire Strikes Back", where Luke joins the Dark Side when Darth tells him he is his father.
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RE: joke time
May 11, 2019 at 6:02 pm
A computer once beat me at chess, but it couldn't hold a candle to me at kickboxing.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
May 12, 2019 at 7:57 pm
Little known fact:
Kiwis invented condoms using sheep intestines.
Aussies later refined the technique by taking the intestines out of the sheep first...
Dying to live, living to die.
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RE: joke time
May 12, 2019 at 8:25 pm
My wife just called me and said, 'Pack a bag...I just won the lottery!!'
'That's great! Should I pack for warm weather or cold?'
'I don't care, just so you're out of the house by the time I get home.'
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
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RE: joke time
May 12, 2019 at 9:57 pm
[Is reminded to check Lotto tickets]
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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RE: joke time
May 13, 2019 at 12:13 am
True story
Years ago I dated a lady who had a latex allergy.
I was at the druggist picking up the natural sheepskin condoms.
There was a young couple, bewildered by the vast assortment displayed. The young lady - noting my selection- and the drastically higher price than the latex, inquired. -- "Are those expensive ones really better?"
Without missing a beat, I said-
"They're not for cheap fuckers".
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RE: joke time
May 13, 2019 at 8:44 am
I just realized, when 007 gets over the age of 60 he is into Bondage..... Bond age..... BA DUM..... Nevermind.
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RE: joke time
May 13, 2019 at 9:02 am
Decades ago I was making jewelry from condoms. (Still in the wrapper). Long boring story. I went to a local pharmacy and there was a dozen boxes of twelve on the shelf. I said "Give me twelve." The guy hands me one box. I said 'All twelve boxes". He was stunned.
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!
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RE: joke time
May 14, 2019 at 4:41 pm
I know, deep down, that sleeping with patients is wrong. It's unethical. But sometimes I just can't help myself. I look at them and the urge is overwhelming.
Then the voice in the back of my head says, "But you're a vet!"
Dying to live, living to die.
