(October 5, 2012 at 7:15 am)jonb Wrote: On another note; mental illness is perfectly normal, I have heard it affects about one in ten to one in four of us, I myself am a sufferer in a small way. I thought the days of hiding the mad relative were behind us. My Mother has contracted alzheimer's and my niece with her two children (3 and & 7) regularly visit her. I was just hearing on the radio a woman with tourettes syndrome that works with nursery children. Don't hide things away peoples little foibles actually make us more informed and stronger. The problem with a lot of christian culture is that it tries to ignore those things which do not fit its world view. Part of the reason I call myself atheist is that, it partly shows I am open to things. I personally have learnt a lot from people who others would dismiss as mad, and my interactions with them have enriched my life.
I agree, mental illness is common, and should be dealt with head-on and explained in simple, age-appropriate terms to children. But there's a different level of complication... I am struggling with PTSD as a result of repeated childhood traumas that were completely overlooked and ignored. I admit that I have a tendency to go overboard in the protection part of my parenting role, which in some cases can be as damaging as the lack of protection. It is a difficult line for me to walk between appropriately protecting my kids vs. being too over-protective. There's also the adult responsibility aspect of mental illness which varies from case to case (considering the type and severity of the illness in question)... Like my dad who is bipolar, but often goes off his meds and doesn't take care of himself. His disease would be better managed if he took his meds and took proper care of himself (diet, exercise, sleeping habits, etc.). He's not adult about facing his problems, he'd rather pretend that he's perfectly fine, which is obviously not the case.
For what it's worth, my kids have only seen their grandmother once a year and aren't close with her. Her choice, not mine. She told me the first time she met my oldest when he was 4 or 5 months old and I asked if she wanted to hold him, "No, I don't like little kids. They don't get interesting until they are 12 or so." So am I being over-protective, perhaps... Am I projecting my fears of trauma onto this situation, maybe... But her anxiety and paranoia (she's been anxious and slightly paranoid since I met her over a decade ago, but it's recently gotten to a point where other family members are becoming concerned, not just my heightened PTSD radar) don't mix well with my PTSD either, so it's hard for me to be as good of a parent as I can around her.
Thanks everyone for "listening" and giving your views. I really do appreciate it. My views of "normal" and "appropriate" can be wonky, it's often helpful for me to bounce these things around and get different perspectives.
