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RE: Marriage Poll
May 16, 2009 at 5:33 am
(May 15, 2009 at 6:39 pm)EvidenceVsFaith Wrote: Oh and Kyu....options open means BOTH options open...not biased towards an 'escape route' you CAN stay longer WITHOUT commitment than with...it just means something like...if your parter can 'just leave at any moment' that's not a bad things...because it's their choice and it's up to them...
You have compassion but you're not attached....
And that's the thing you see ... if you can say/imply that the commitment is stupid/unnecessary/restrictive or whatever then I can as equally ask why you need your escape route and why you're AFRAID of the commitment can't I? It swings both ways dude ... to your mind the commitment is (well whatever you claim it is) and to mine I think you are simply hedging your bets, that "keeping your options open" is just cowardice in another guise . 
Kyu
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RE: Marriage Poll
May 16, 2009 at 6:35 pm
I'm not afraid of commitment. On the contrary. I think I don't need it because I'm not afraid of losing and I don't feel attached so there's no point in committing.
And keeping things open means I can stay or a go depending how I and my (hypothetical) partner truly feels....rather than if I'm together perhaps HAVING to stay even when I don't necessarily feel like it's for the best anymore...(and when I'm very sure about that and I've made my mind up - I wouldn't be happy staying or would be happier/think it's for the best if it ended (and it would just be better)).
What's the problem with that? By both options open I really do mean both options open. Not LESS lol.
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RE: Marriage Poll
May 22, 2009 at 8:30 am
I wouldn't stay in a relationship longer then 3-5 years. I like variation and refreshment. However I haven't had relationship that lasted longer then 2 years so far.
- Science is not trying to create an answer like religion, it tries to find an answer.
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RE: Marriage Poll
May 22, 2009 at 4:11 pm
(May 22, 2009 at 8:30 am)Giff Wrote: I wouldn't stay in a relationship longer then 3-5 years. I like variation and refreshment. However I haven't had relationship that lasted longer then 2 years so far.
Oh yawn ... and you don't think just about every man feels that way when they're young?
Kyu
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RE: Marriage Poll
May 26, 2009 at 8:20 am
(May 22, 2009 at 4:11 pm)Kyuuketsuki Wrote: (May 22, 2009 at 8:30 am)Giff Wrote: I wouldn't stay in a relationship longer then 3-5 years. I like variation and refreshment. However I haven't had relationship that lasted longer then 2 years so far.
Oh yawn ... and you don't think just about every man feels that way when they're young?
Kyu
No, why do you think many people in a marriage is having an affair?
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RE: Marriage Poll
May 26, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Some marry young too...at least some.
EvF
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RE: Marriage Poll
May 26, 2009 at 4:26 pm
(May 26, 2009 at 8:20 am)Giff Wrote: No, why do you think many people in a marriage is having an affair?
Er ... whut?
Kyu
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RE: Marriage Poll
May 26, 2009 at 7:26 pm
@ Giff
That all of your relationships have ended within a couple of years says nothing necessarily about relationships or your partners, but it implies a lot about you, beginning with the likelihood that you are under 30.
Quote:No, why do you think many people in a marriage is having an affair?
A lot doesn't mean "all" . There are many possible reasons;
They are emotionally immature and have no self control.
Incapable of intimacy
Afraid of commitement
Afraid /unwilling to leave a bad relationship.
OR they may just be a cunt.
Betrayal,either sexual or emotional, indicates to me a relationship is fucked
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RE: Marriage Poll
May 27, 2009 at 2:29 am
I'd like to see the correlation between age and willingness to be married ... it might imply nothing but I'm still curious.
FWIW I am 52, I've been married 25 years nearly (lived together for 5 years before that, so married when I was 27 ... that, for the nay-sayers, was my trial run BTW) and whilst it hasn't all been sunshine and roses I do believe it has been very much worth it and that being married makes for a better relationship in the end.
Kyu
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RE: Marriage Poll
May 27, 2009 at 10:06 am
(May 26, 2009 at 7:26 pm)padraic Wrote: @Giff
That all of your relationships have ended within a couple of years says nothing necessarily about relationships or your partners, but it implies a lot about you, beginning with the likelihood that you are under 30.
Nothing I see as a bad thing. Don't think someone is better for having the same partner for 20 years+ or so. I mean I don't see the point of that, I could emagine being quite boring. However if someone havent' tried diffrent things then they might not know what they're missing.
But I don't know how it will be when I become older. I guess that it won't be until I'm 40 and so and don't want loose relatioships or one-night-stands anymore. However I really don't see that happening, but again I have to wait and see.
I have never said that I loved someone either, might been told that but never returned the favor so to speak. So perhaps I have a commitment issue, what do I know? But what I do know is that I find commitment to be overrated.
They're is of course advantages with both lifestyles. But I think mine have the most.
- Science is not trying to create an answer like religion, it tries to find an answer.
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