How did the universe come to be?
It’s a question that has been debated between atheists, Christians and Muslims for a while now. But I’m glad we can debate it, as before atheists would be punished and even killed. David Hume was even threatened by the church in his time.
Many atheists believe in the big bang theory, some would say the universe is eternal and some would say they just don’t know. I have my own beliefs about how the universe came to be and I’ll explain them quickly and clearly.
When Christians and Muslims say there must have been an original creator that lives eternally I facepalm and ask them ‘who created your god?’ I believe that a string of paradoxes are responsible for the universe’s existence. I know this might sound a bit farfetched but stick with me.
Billions of years ago a deity named Gnod created flying dogs called Wuba Wubas who would help him create the universe. But who created Gnod? Well it’s very complicated, so complicated it is a plausible scientific theory. The Wuba Wubas were out creating the universe and created leprechauns to help create such a universe but the leprechauns turned evil and that put Gnod and the Wuba Wubas in danger. So a man called John Smith travelled backwards in time from the future to help save Gnod from the leprechaun aggressors. But it turns out John Smith travelled backwards in time not to save Gnod but to create him, thus initiating the first Jaxist paradox.
Now I can understand if that paragraph sounds batshit crazy to you. But it gets more intrinsic later on; this is merely the first paradox. Now obviously if there were or are any deities then they must have been created. Gnod is and has been created as an omnipotent but not omniscient being. This is why he is able to create the universe; this however does not mean John Smith is omnipotent. Gnod is often described as unintelligent and at times incompetent for allowing such evil beings as Illvilliga the Opposer and Yahweh to be created. Yahweh is not a deity but a mage; however Illvilliga is a lower level Gnod. Neither of which created the universe but balance it with their evil might.
Why is evil relevant you ask? Well imagine a big multiple person seesaw, if you want to use the seesaw properly you must balance the amount of people appropriately. Instead of putting six people on one side and nobody on the other side you should instead seek to put three people on one and three on the other side to create a good enjoyable balance. The Seesaw Theory is an important component when describing the universes construction and is why evil exists as a foundation to creating civilisation.
Time travel is definitely the most important factor when discussing the creation of the universe, as people couldn’t have created each other without travelling backwards in time to have created each other. Without time travel John Smith could have never created Gnod and thus Gnod would have never created you or him.
I know what you folks in the scientific/atheist community are asking me. How is any of this possible? Its called omnipotence, Gnod is ALL POWERFUL therefore can create someone powerful enough to create himself. Obviously Gnod can’t have existed forever without having been created so was created by something called the Jax during the Second Jaxist Paradox. The Jax are powerful creatures of vast intellect and created the very fabric of time and space with pebbles. The Jax knew that John Smith couldn’t create Gnod all by himself and that Gnod was unaware of John Smith’s existence so the Jax created John Smith and Gnod and then eventually centuries later Gnod created the Jax. The Jax are omnipotent so time travelled to the future to acquire information from the internet learning they could make themselves omniscient so they did, this helped the Second Jaxist Paradox occur.
Now what I’ve just stated here will probably not make any sense, but that will probably be down to you not having a PhD in Jaxism. This isn’t crazy, so please don’t dismiss this as nonsense or laughable. It is my religion. Of course it has its flaws; even the atheistic big bang theory hasn’t got all of the facts yet. Jaxism is recovering from the times of doubt and sorrow. You might think the creation of Wuba Wubas to be unnecessary, but you see it was necessary. Creating the entire universe is a tricky job. You can’t simply wish a universe into existence, you need workers. If those workers happen to be Wuba Wubas and leprechauns, then so be it. You might think that using leprechauns as workers is weird; I think the LHC is a bit weird quite frankly.
Thanks for your time and may panini be with you.
P.s my religion is not a joke...
It’s a question that has been debated between atheists, Christians and Muslims for a while now. But I’m glad we can debate it, as before atheists would be punished and even killed. David Hume was even threatened by the church in his time.
Many atheists believe in the big bang theory, some would say the universe is eternal and some would say they just don’t know. I have my own beliefs about how the universe came to be and I’ll explain them quickly and clearly.
When Christians and Muslims say there must have been an original creator that lives eternally I facepalm and ask them ‘who created your god?’ I believe that a string of paradoxes are responsible for the universe’s existence. I know this might sound a bit farfetched but stick with me.
Billions of years ago a deity named Gnod created flying dogs called Wuba Wubas who would help him create the universe. But who created Gnod? Well it’s very complicated, so complicated it is a plausible scientific theory. The Wuba Wubas were out creating the universe and created leprechauns to help create such a universe but the leprechauns turned evil and that put Gnod and the Wuba Wubas in danger. So a man called John Smith travelled backwards in time from the future to help save Gnod from the leprechaun aggressors. But it turns out John Smith travelled backwards in time not to save Gnod but to create him, thus initiating the first Jaxist paradox.
Now I can understand if that paragraph sounds batshit crazy to you. But it gets more intrinsic later on; this is merely the first paradox. Now obviously if there were or are any deities then they must have been created. Gnod is and has been created as an omnipotent but not omniscient being. This is why he is able to create the universe; this however does not mean John Smith is omnipotent. Gnod is often described as unintelligent and at times incompetent for allowing such evil beings as Illvilliga the Opposer and Yahweh to be created. Yahweh is not a deity but a mage; however Illvilliga is a lower level Gnod. Neither of which created the universe but balance it with their evil might.
Why is evil relevant you ask? Well imagine a big multiple person seesaw, if you want to use the seesaw properly you must balance the amount of people appropriately. Instead of putting six people on one side and nobody on the other side you should instead seek to put three people on one and three on the other side to create a good enjoyable balance. The Seesaw Theory is an important component when describing the universes construction and is why evil exists as a foundation to creating civilisation.
Time travel is definitely the most important factor when discussing the creation of the universe, as people couldn’t have created each other without travelling backwards in time to have created each other. Without time travel John Smith could have never created Gnod and thus Gnod would have never created you or him.
I know what you folks in the scientific/atheist community are asking me. How is any of this possible? Its called omnipotence, Gnod is ALL POWERFUL therefore can create someone powerful enough to create himself. Obviously Gnod can’t have existed forever without having been created so was created by something called the Jax during the Second Jaxist Paradox. The Jax are powerful creatures of vast intellect and created the very fabric of time and space with pebbles. The Jax knew that John Smith couldn’t create Gnod all by himself and that Gnod was unaware of John Smith’s existence so the Jax created John Smith and Gnod and then eventually centuries later Gnod created the Jax. The Jax are omnipotent so time travelled to the future to acquire information from the internet learning they could make themselves omniscient so they did, this helped the Second Jaxist Paradox occur.
Now what I’ve just stated here will probably not make any sense, but that will probably be down to you not having a PhD in Jaxism. This isn’t crazy, so please don’t dismiss this as nonsense or laughable. It is my religion. Of course it has its flaws; even the atheistic big bang theory hasn’t got all of the facts yet. Jaxism is recovering from the times of doubt and sorrow. You might think the creation of Wuba Wubas to be unnecessary, but you see it was necessary. Creating the entire universe is a tricky job. You can’t simply wish a universe into existence, you need workers. If those workers happen to be Wuba Wubas and leprechauns, then so be it. You might think that using leprechauns as workers is weird; I think the LHC is a bit weird quite frankly.
Thanks for your time and may panini be with you.
P.s my religion is not a joke...
