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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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joke time
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#4411
RE: joke time
February 1, 2021 at 7:47 pm
What's heavier - water or butane?




Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#4412
RE: joke time
February 1, 2021 at 7:52 pm
(February 1, 2021 at 7:47 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: What's heavier - water or butane?




Boru

No.

Just no.

If I was there I'd smack you on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#4413
RE: joke time
February 1, 2021 at 8:04 pm
(February 1, 2021 at 7:52 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote:
(February 1, 2021 at 7:47 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: What's heavier - water or butane?




Boru

No.

Just no.

If I was there I'd smack you on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

You wouldn't be the first.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#4414
RE: joke time
February 1, 2021 at 8:06 pm
A man buys a lie detecting robot that slaps people when they lie and decides to test it at the family dinner that night.

"What did you do today?" he asks his son.

"I was doing homework," the boy replies.

The robot slaps him.

"Okay. I was at Bill's place watching movies!"

"Which movie?" The father asks.

"Toy Story," the boy responds.

The robot slaps him.

"Fine! We were watching porn!"

"When I was your age I didn't know what porn was!" Says the father angrily.

The robot slaps him.

The mother laughs, "Well, he's certainly your son!"

The robot slaps her.

*Robot for sale*

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Find
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HappySkeptic Offline
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#4415
RE: joke time
February 1, 2021 at 8:11 pm
(February 1, 2021 at 7:47 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: What's heavier - water or butane?




Boru

After remembering my material science -- I got it right!  Hey, is there a joke there somewhere?  Ohhhhhh ... Arrgghh
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#4416
RE: joke time
February 1, 2021 at 8:44 pm
(February 1, 2021 at 8:11 pm)HappySkeptic Wrote:
(February 1, 2021 at 7:47 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: What's heavier - water or butane?




Boru

After remembering my material science -- I got it right!  Hey, is there a joke there somewhere?  Ohhhhhh ... Arrgghh

It’s a version of an ancient bar bet. One patron says to another, ‘I’ll wager you £5 that I can make this packet of cigarettes a cigarette lighter.’

‘Sure, if you set it on fire. No bet.’

‘No, I give you my word that fire won’t be involved.’

‘Well...ok, then.’

So the first fella opens the pack, takes out one cigarette and says, ‘There - the pack is now a cigarette lighter.’

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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Fireball Offline
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#4417
RE: joke time
February 1, 2021 at 9:06 pm
(February 1, 2021 at 8:44 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:
(February 1, 2021 at 8:11 pm)HappySkeptic Wrote: After remembering my material science -- I got it right!  Hey, is there a joke there somewhere?  Ohhhhhh ... Arrgghh

It’s a version of an ancient bar bet. One patron says to another, ‘I’ll wager you £5 that I can make this packet of cigarettes a cigarette lighter.’

‘Sure, if you set it on fire. No bet.’

‘No, I give you my word that fire won’t be involved.’

‘Well...ok, then.’

So the first fella opens the pack, takes out one cigarette and says, ‘There - the pack is now a cigarette lighter.’

Boru

...and that's when the fight started...
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
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The Valkyrie Offline
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#4418
RE: joke time
February 1, 2021 at 9:11 pm
(February 1, 2021 at 9:06 pm)Fireball Wrote:
(February 1, 2021 at 8:44 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: It’s a version of an ancient bar bet. One patron says to another, ‘I’ll wager you £5 that I can make this packet of cigarettes a cigarette lighter.’

‘Sure, if you set it on fire. No bet.’

‘No, I give you my word that fire won’t be involved.’

‘Well...ok, then.’

So the first fella opens the pack, takes out one cigarette and says, ‘There - the pack is now a cigarette lighter.’

Boru

...and that's when the fight started...

That's when you stab them before they can react.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Find
Reply
The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
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Religious Views: Time to end them
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#4419
RE: joke time
February 2, 2021 at 2:10 am
I've been alcohol free for three hours.

Cheers to that!

Fuck!

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
Find
Reply
BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#4420
RE: joke time
February 2, 2021 at 7:14 am
111: 'What is your emergency?'

Dog: 'My human has been missing for 1.2 seconds.'

111: 'Have you tried eating the couch?'

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Humor v
joke time

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