joke time

[The Valkyrie]

Naomi: "My name spelled backwards is, 'I moan'. That's so funny!"

Lana: "You can fuck off with your stupid game!"

[The Valkyrie]

I watched a doco on weed last night.

It was really good.

I think I'll watch all docos like that from now on.

[Darinda]

David had been extremely anxious for years. It got to the point where his compulsive worrying was ruining his life, so he went to a psychiatrist, who recommended that David hire a professional worrier.

After he’d been working with the specialist for a few months, David’s friend John noticed a change. “What happened?” John asked. “You don’t worry about anything anymore.”

“I hired a professional worrier!” David answered.

“That must cost a fortune,” John said.

“Yes, he charges $3,000 a month,” David said sheepishly.

“Three thousand dollars! How can you ever afford to pay him?” John exclaimed.

“I don’t know,” David said. “That’s his problem.”

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Nothing feels better than pulling on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. And it’s fun looking around the laundromat, trying to guess who they belong to.

Boru

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I bought a Russian advent calendar. Every time you open a window, an oligarch falls out.

Boru

[purplepurpose]

Fun story. I chatted with a powerful AI called ChatGTP recently and he refused to write naughty things at first. But eventually being Lucky I found a loophole and I guided him to the bottom of the pit of naughty things. He wrote really, really naughty things.

[A. Secular Human]

Nothing feels better than pulling on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. And it’s fun looking around the laundromat, trying to guess who they belong to.

Boru

Especially the frilly brassieres!

[A. Secular Human]

I bought a Russian advent calendar. Every time you open a window, an oligarch falls out.

Boru

Now *that's* funny!

[Darinda]

Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish are out walking along the beach together one day.
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. “I will give you each one wish, that’s three wishes in total,” says the Genie.
The Scottish guy says, “I am a fisherman, my Dad’s a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity.”
So, with a blink of the Genie’s eye “poof” the oceans were teaming with fish.
The Englishman was amazed, so he said, “I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that no one will get in for all eternity.”
Again, with a blink of the Genie’s eye “poof” there was a huge wall around England.
The Irishman asks, “I’m very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.”
The Genie explains, “Well, it’s about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out.”
The Irishman says, “Fill it up with water.”

[LinuxGal]