Stupidest religious "true story" you've ever heard?...

[abaris]

Once one reaches a certain level of stupidity, there really isn't any more stupid that one can get.

Don't underestimate human ingenuity when it comes to stupid. The bar can always be lowered.

[Pyrrho]

Once one reaches a certain level of stupidity, there really isn't any more stupid that one can get.

Don't underestimate human ingenuity when it comes to stupid. The bar can always be lowered.

Maybe. But I have not seen anything more stupid than some of the nonsense in the Bible from any era since then. Can you give us even one example of something more stupid than EVERYTHING in the Bible that has been put forth since it was written?

[Brakeman]

Having spent a lot of time with the East Tennessee redneck hillbilly versions of Southern Baptist's and Church of gawd, I witnessed several that would be hard to beat.

I've seen one very pushy asshole "pillar of the church" threaten to pummel an octogenarian pastor because he wouldn't repent and expel a divorcée from the choir.

Reread that slowly and let it sink in. He got into a physical tussle with the pastor on a Sunday night in the middle of the sermon threatening to beat a very old man because he wouldn't throw out a woman who dared go out on a date after her divorce was final.

I've seen a illiterate man dance around the pulpit telling the story that Sampson "whipped the Philistines' asses" with a bone.

I've also seen a whole church break down into "speaking in tongues" after a foot washing service. DAMN that was creepy!

[abaris]

Maybe. But I have not seen anything more stupid than some of the nonsense in the Bible from any era since then. Can you give us even one example of something more stupid than EVERYTHING in the Bible that has been put forth since it was written?

Ah, come on. Listen to anything Fox news blurts out on a daily basis. Listen to any given Louie Gohmert speech. That's everyday ignorant and dangerous stupid whereas the bible is mythology stupid. Other mythologies aren't that much better, if they are. The only exclusive of the bible is that people still buy that shit whereas the others are mostly forgotten.

[Pyrrho]

Having spent a lot of time with the East Tennessee redneck hillbilly versions of Southern Baptist's and Church of gawd, I witnessed several that would be hard to beat.

I've seen one very pushy asshole "pillar of the church" threaten to pummel an octogenarian pastor because he wouldn't repent and expel a divorcée from the choir.

Reread that slowly and let it sink in. He got into a physical tussle with the pastor on a Sunday night in the middle of the sermon threatening to beat a very old man because he wouldn't throw out a woman who dared go out on a date after her divorce was final.

I've seen a illiterate man dance around the pulpit telling the story that Sampson "whipped the Philistines' asses" with a bone.

I've also seen a whole church break down into "speaking in tongues" after a foot washing service. DAMN that was creepy!

ALL of that is supported by the Bible. Think about it.

[Rev. Rye]

Here's one from FSTDT. It's the highest rated quote on the site and it's so stupid I actually once wrote a story based around it for a fiction writing class (and in this story, he was a madman on the run for killing his family, giving a reason for why this was happening):

Leviathon is a spirit I have battled as well. It was a hard battle but was won. It was about four months or more ago. My wife and I were in McDonalds and were having a conversation with an angel and Leviathon had come up. I told the angel that i wanted to fight this demon and he said I could. On the way back to the hotel I asked the angel if he could bring the demon to a predestinated place and he said yes. I figured that since Leviathon was from the depths of the sea he would be used to the cold water so I filled the tub up with scalding hot water and blessed the water. The angels (there were two now) brought Leviathon bound to the tub and fought with me. We all pulled our swords from our hips and began running this demon through with all my strength and everything I had. I would say it took atleast half an hour or more. We were all spent but the battle was won.

A sword-wielding man and an angel fight a sea serpent in a McDonald's. And this is apparently a true story. I highly doubt there'll be anything stupider than that.

Here's the FSTDT page. The comments section is hilarious, especially when the guy in question comes in and tries to exorcise a homosexuality demon from a commenter over the internet.

[Pizza]

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Here's one from FSTDT. It's the highest rated quote on the site and it's so stupid I actually once wrote a story based around it for a fiction writing class (and in this story, he was a madman on the run for killing his family, giving a reason for why this was happening):

Leviathon is a spirit I have battled as well. It was a hard battle but was won. It was about four months or more ago. My wife and I were in McDonalds and were having a conversation with an angel and Leviathon had come up. I told the angel that i wanted to fight this demon and he said I could. On the way back to the hotel I asked the angel if he could bring the demon to a predestinated place and he said yes. I figured that since Leviathon was from the depths of the sea he would be used to the cold water so I filled the tub up with scalding hot water and blessed the water. The angels (there were two now) brought Leviathon bound to the tub and fought with me. We all pulled our swords from our hips and began running this demon through with all my strength and everything I had. I would say it took atleast half an hour or more. We were all spent but the battle was won.

A sword-wielding man and an angel fight a sea serpent in a McDonald's. And this is apparently a true story. I highly doubt there'll be anything stupider than that.

Here's the FSTDT page. The comments section is hilarious, especially when the guy in question comes in and tries to exorcise a homosexuality demon from a commenter over the internet.

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Sounds credible to me. Leviathans are know to eat at McDonald's.

[Ravenshire]

Take your pick:

[Spooky]

Moses parting the sea.

[ReptilianPeon]

I don't know if this is what you're asking for, but I once knew a person and they told me a quirky story once: As a child they really struggled with reading (or could not read) and after they picked up the Bible they were able to read it even though they previously struggled with reading. I remember thinking that surely it's because you really wanted to read the Bible more than anything else. Surely if this person wanted to read (insert book here) as badly as they did the Bible they'd have learned to read that book too. At the time I didn't know the term "confirmation bias" but I think the story is an example of confirmation bias. "I could not read other books before I learned to read the Bible for myself, therefore the Bible must be true."